Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) Paul-302787 said: (Quote) David-364112 said: So, it's all up to the...
(Quote) Paul-302787 said:
Quote:
David-364112 said:




So, it's all up to the man? Whenever something doesn't work out it's because HE dropped the ball?? It can never be the other way around - i.e. HER doing?




There are plenty of wonderful marriagable women on CM. Moreso than any other dating site. But you won't find many of them on the forums. I'm starting to believe that this is the damaged floor models section of the furniture store. The marriageable women find a man, fallin love, and marry him. Those who are consitutionally incapable of sharing theirlives with ANYONE sit around carping and scolding men. I'm so fed up with that attitude many here espouse. Not you - you're always fair and never mean-spirited. But many women on these forums are pirahnas.








I am with you on this, David, that it seems to be a common occurrence for women to blame men on almost everything....here on CM, Facebook, etc.

Now back to the topic of men initiating....

if men have to take the risk of rejection, then women do not have a right to complain if they are not picked by a guy. The blade slices both ways. :)

And as a plus (obviously not applicable here, on a Catholic site): but as a man (who is supposed to initiate), I do not have to worry about being asked out by non-Catholics.
--hide--



Men have always run the risk of rejection. It is not new. Lets not generalize about women OR men here. It is not helping anyone at all.

LOCKED
Dec 7th 2012 new

Another factor for a man, is trying to initiate worth it? In some cases, it is not just a turn down but a woman may have to tell people and justify her decsion by listing the negative things about the man. I was reading an article about why men will not date women at the church that they attend. This church was Presbyterian but could apply to Catholic Parishes. Several men felt that just asking out a woman could demand your status in your church to the point of needing to leave that church.

LOCKED
Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) Matthew-922453 said: so I just wait and try trust in God that He will put what He wants in my path
(Quote) Matthew-922453 said:

so I just wait and try trust in God that He will put what He wants in my path
--hide--


You get a Gold Star! Good for you for getting out there and trying (and not whining about things!!)


I truly believe we are put here on earth to serve God, Romans 9:17, “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”


So Matthew, continue to serve God, to display His power, to proclaim His name throughout all you do, everywhere, and God will introduce your bride to you, when the time is right. In the meantime, if you think you find her, continue to pursue. If God says no, not this one, or not this one right now, then so be it. Keep your chin up, and know that God's plan rarely aligns with ours, nor is His timing the same as ours.


God Bless!!

LOCKED
Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) Duane-917052 said: I'm only counting those to whom I write and initiate a message, not countin...
(Quote) Duane-917052 said:

I'm only counting those to whom I write and initiate a message, not counting emoticon-onlys. I don't really like to just send an emoticon. In my opinion, looking at someone's profile is like window shopping on a street mall. You don't go inside, but just look at the display. It doesn't mean there is no interest, it just means I need to think about it for awhile and reflect on what I've read. I'd never leap without doing some praying first.

I have my suspicions that many of the no-returns are long-gone ex CMers. CM does not cull out old profiles. I know of one person on CM who was given a one-month gift subscription many years ago, and their profile is still here. I think forums are a good indicator of someone's active participation in CM.

I do agree with the premise that men "should" do the initiating. But women should do their part in saying "no" too.

--hide--

Hey, Duane, the difference between looking at profiles on CM and window shopping at the mall is that the profiles belong to real women not mannequins. Sorry, brother, I could not resist teasing you!

However, you bring up a good point. I think many men feel the way you do, but from a woman's perspective, it feels creepy! It wouldn't kill you to make one comment and leave it at that. It's not an all or nothing proposition. It's called "getting to know one another." Sure, it's likely that you won't develop a deep lasting personal relationship with most people, but you never know!

LOCKED
Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) Paul-302787 said: if men have to take the risk of rejection, then women do not have a right to complain if they are...
(Quote) Paul-302787 said:

if men have to take the risk of rejection, then women do not have a right to complain if they are not picked by a guy. The blade slices both ways. :)

--hide--


Bingo!! Paul must've hit a raw nerve ther ebecause you ladies have thumbs downed hiscomment to death.


Did you ladies ever think that maybe men ARE initiating things - but with other women who have more welcoming demeanors and less dour dispositions??



LOCKED
Dec 7th 2012 new

The article says that women have a responsibility to say "Yes" to a date request and open their hearts to the possibilities. We want men to take the lead because it is ingrained in our being that way. You don't want a domineering, controlling wife do you? Besides, it is lovely to be asked by such fine, faithful gentlemen.

LOCKED
Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: Bingo!! Paul must've hit a raw nerve ther ebecause you ladies have thumbs downed...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


Bingo!! Paul must've hit a raw nerve ther ebecause you ladies have thumbs downed hiscomment to death.


Did you ladies ever think that maybe men ARE initiating things - but with other women who have more welcoming demeanors and less dour dispositions??



--hide--
It is called communication David - if a man is pursuing someone else why can't they let others know. Nope instead they play games - keep adding pictures , keep sprucing up their profiles and they keep looking. Why can't a man just concentrate on one at a time - no they keep looking for an upgrade. This pattern has become very hurtful for me and others on here. Right now I am listening to a CD called "The Seven Levels of Intimacy" everyone on here should listen to this - very good.

LOCKED
Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) BIll-154597 said: Another factor for a man, is trying to initiate worth it? In some cases, it is not just a turn dow...
(Quote) BIll-154597 said:

Another factor for a man, is trying to initiate worth it? In some cases, it is not just a turn down but a woman may have to tell people and justify her decsion by listing the negative things about the man. I was reading an article about why men will not date women at the church that they attend. This church was Presbyterian but could apply to Catholic Parishes. Several men felt that just asking out a woman could demand your status in your church to the point of needing to leave that church.

--hide--


Gosh, Bill, if finding a loving, faithful wife isn't worth the risk, why join CM? Even Wayne Gretzky says "You mss 100% of the shots you never take."

LOCKED
Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) BIll-154597 said: Another factor for a man, is trying to initiate worth it? In some cases, it is not just a turn dow...
(Quote) BIll-154597 said:

Another factor for a man, is trying to initiate worth it? In some cases, it is not just a turn down but a woman may have to tell people and justify her decsion by listing the negative things about the man. I was reading an article about why men will not date women at the church that they attend. This church was Presbyterian but could apply to Catholic Parishes. Several men felt that just asking out a woman could demand your status in your church to the point of needing to leave that church.

--hide--


I should say, also, that I am sorry if that has been your experience. That's where integrity is important. I sure wouldn't want someone to feel like they had to leave their parish because of gossip.

LOCKED
Dec 7th 2012 new
I love The Seven Levels book! I don't get the part, and maybe I am misunderstanding, about talking to just one at a time as opposed to looking for an 'upgrade'? When I am talking to someone, i am not ready to decide anything. It takes quite a bit of time and so I wouldn't want to talk to only one. I'm really puzzled on this one but not sure I'm accurately conveying my point.
LOCKED
Posts 41 - 50 of 200