Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Hi All,

I lost my husband of 25 years a year and a half ago...seems forever-seems like yesterday. I'm just wondering if anyone has had it more dificult that second time through holidays. I don't remember too much about last years Christmas season, but I do know I did not seem as full of tears. Ornaments, decorations and songs all seem to "hurt" more this year.

Any thoughts? Thanks!

Dec 8th 2012 new
(Quote) Michele-910064 said: Hi All, I lost my husband of 25 years a year and a half ago...seems forever-seems like yesterd...
(Quote) Michele-910064 said:

Hi All,



I lost my husband of 25 years a year and a half ago...seems forever-seems like yesterday. I'm just wondering if anyone has had it more dificult that second time through holidays. I don't remember too much about last years Christmas season, but I do know I did not seem as full of tears. Ornaments, decorations and songs all seem to "hurt" more this year.



Any thoughts? Thanks!

--hide--


Hello Michele,

My husband passed away in mid-2008. That year, I enjoyed being around people at Christmas time. However, I was still numb. I was just barely hanging on. In many ways, the following Christmas, was much harder because everyone else had moved on. In many ways, I had not.

hug hug

Helen
Dec 8th 2012 new
(Quote) Michele-910064 said: Hi All, I lost my husband of 25 years a year and a half ago...seems forever-seems like yesterd...
(Quote) Michele-910064 said:

Hi All,



I lost my husband of 25 years a year and a half ago...seems forever-seems like yesterday. I'm just wondering if anyone has had it more dificult that second time through holidays. I don't remember too much about last years Christmas season, but I do know I did not seem as full of tears. Ornaments, decorations and songs all seem to "hurt" more this year.



Any thoughts? Thanks!

--hide--


You have my prayers. I lost my son a year ago May, he was only 22, I realize that is not the same but I do understand your pain....God Bless
Dec 9th 2012 new

I think we all grieve differently. I lost my husband in June of 2011. My son had just got back from Afghanistan, it was unexpected and my fear was losing my son not my husband at the time. Last year, I was doing what my kids wanted and needed. I miss my husband terribly, but this year I feel close to him still. My kids are still struggling so I am trying to help them. I will pray for all of you during this difficult season.

Dec 9th 2012 new

Grief fluctuates. For me, each year brings its own particular challenges. The year I lost my mom (the first week in December) was numb and brutally painful. The first few years were not much better and it was an immense struggle to even participate at all. Decorating is still a very bittersweet day, and moreso as I lost Dad three years ago.


I have a close friend who lost her spouse of 28 years three years ago in the first week of December. It was the day after he played Santa in their town's Christmas parade as he had done for at least 20 of those years. She STILL counts days, hours and minutes. Christmas is bittersweet for her every year.


I think all we can do is give it over to God, do our best to carry on for those who love us and still remain. I hope that you are able to find some joy this Advent season and God blesses you with joy this Christmas. Much love to you. heart

Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Helen-450889 said: Hello Michele, My husband passed away in mid-2008. That year, I enjoyed being around peo...
(Quote)

Helen-450889 said:

Hello Michele,

My husband passed away in mid-2008. That year, I enjoyed being around people at Christmas time. However, I was still numb. I was just barely hanging on. In many ways, the following Christmas, was much harder because everyone else had moved on. In many ways, I had not.

Helen

--hide--


Adding: My husband and I got married a couple days before Christmas. He had been in my life for 22 years. Those first two Christmases after his death were very hard.

Dec 9th 2012 new

Thank you so much for your prayers and I will include you in mine and my students! Michele

Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Michele-910064 said: Hi All, I lost my husband of 25 years a year and a half ago...seems forever-seems like y...
(Quote) Michele-910064 said:

Hi All,

I lost my husband of 25 years a year and a half ago...seems forever-seems like yesterday. I'm just wondering if anyone has had it more dificult that second time through holidays. I don't remember too much about last years Christmas season, but I do know I did not seem as full of tears. Ornaments, decorations and songs all seem to "hurt" more this year.

Any thoughts? Thanks!

--hide--


Michelle, I think it is quite normal for the second year to be the worst. The first year we are a bit numb. By the second year reality has set in and it is a very tough reality to accept. I encourage you to embrace the pain, though. I have seem folks who just wanted to "get over it" and "get on" with their life, and in doing so they never let themselves heal. Sometimes that even includes a quick remarriage.


The first year after I had lost my husband of 34 years, I was so numb and I just had to make myself put one foot in front of another. The intense pain started November 4th, the day my husband died. Then, of course, there was Thanksgiving, Christmas and January 1st which was his birthday. Somehow my thought processes didn't get back on track until after our anniversary on March 10th.


Each of us grieves differently, but I am a list person. So each New Year's Eve, I would come up with a list of how to approach the year. I never thought I would forget those plans, but after I found balance in my life I have forgotten exactly what the plans were. They went something like this...1st year - survive, put one foot in front of the other, do what I have to do to live...2nd year - find, join a new group...4th year - make new friends, visit someone who needs a friend, help those less fortunate...


Each year I activily tried to achieve whatever the goal was that I had set on New Year's Eve. Of course, there are so many things that make up our lives and help us heal, and this was just part of what helped me work through the grief.


I am so glad you are here on CM and that you have started posting. You have given us an opportunity to pray with you and for you. Truly, I think the second Christmas is the worst. Hang on to God and those who love you. There will come a Christmas when you can look back and smile when you think of the past Christmas' with your husband and be able to thank God for them. I have been at that place for the past two years and feel so blessed to be here. But I truly believe that if I hadn't actively worked through my grief, I would not be at the balanced place I am now. I am still lonely, but I am looking forward to all the gifts God still has for me.

Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said: Michelle, I think it is quite normal for the second year to be the worst. The fi...
(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said:


Michelle, I think it is quite normal for the second year to be the worst. The first year we are a bit numb. By the second year reality has set in and it is a very tough reality to accept. I encourage you to embrace the pain, though. I have seem folks who just wanted to "get over it" and "get on" with their life, and in doing so they never let themselves heal. Sometimes that even includes a quick remarriage.


The first year after I had lost my husband of 34 years, I was so numb and I just had to make myself put one foot in front of another. The intense pain started November 4th, the day my husband died. Then, of course, there was Thanksgiving, Christmas and January 1st which was his birthday. Somehow my thought processes didn't get back on track until after our anniversary on March 10th.


Each of us grieves differently, but I am a list person. So each New Year's Eve, I would come up with a list of how to approach the year. I never thought I would forget those plans, but after I found balance in my life I have forgotten exactly what the plans were. They went something like this...1st year - survive, put one foot in front of the other, do what I have to do to live...2nd year - find, join a new group...4th year - make new friends, visit someone who needs a friend, help those less fortunate...


Each year I activily tried to achieve whatever the goal was that I had set on New Year's Eve. Of course, there are so many things that make up our lives and help us heal, and this was just part of what helped me work through the grief.


I am so glad you are here on CM and that you have started posting. You have given us an opportunity to pray with you and for you. Truly, I think the second Christmas is the worst. Hang on to God and those who love you. There will come a Christmas when you can look back and smile when you think of the past Christmas' with your husband and be able to thank God for them. I have been at that place for the past two years and feel so blessed to be here. But I truly believe that if I hadn't actively worked through my grief, I would not be at the balanced place I am now. I am still lonely, but I am looking forward to all the gifts God still has for me.

--hide--


I meant to "Preview Post" and instead hit "Submit Post". I apologize. The 2nd years goal was to find joy in as many places as I could. And, the 2nd year was the hardest to stay on track with because I would rather just cry. But I would make myself find things to smile about. The 3rd year was find reasons to be happy.


I will pray for you this Christmas Michelle that God will bring you peace and I feel sure that many others will be doing the same. Wishing you all of God's blessings.


-Elizabeth

Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Michele-910064 said: Hi All, I lost my husband of 25 years a year and a half ago...seems forever-seems like y...
(Quote) Michele-910064 said:

Hi All,

I lost my husband of 25 years a year and a half ago...seems forever-seems like yesterday. I'm just wondering if anyone has had it more dificult that second time through holidays. I don't remember too much about last years Christmas season, but I do know I did not seem as full of tears. Ornaments, decorations and songs all seem to "hurt" more this year.

Any thoughts? Thanks!

--hide--


It has been almost six years since my wife passed away, and yes, it does both seem like yesterday and a like fore-ever all at the same time. The holidays can be difficult at times. But, it does get easlier as time passes. Our Christmas tree is full of ornaments from years past, and make for pleasant memories. The children and extended family are a blessing, and we are making new memories. Since we were married on New Years Day, that will always be a special day for me and the children. We celebrate New Years Eve and Day in the same traditions that we did when my wife was still here with us.

Posts 1 - 10 of 46