Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
Your points are well taken. I have indeed been asked to start a running group and/or a Bible study at my parish. The running group would be a great fit for my gifts, but I work rotating shifts. Trying to overcome my "clock" being thrown off by odd hours make it difficult to do a whole lot of extra... and participating in regularly-scheduled events is a non-starter. (How many Christ Renews His Parish and That Many Is You meetings have I missed lately...?) My work schedule changes often, so throws a wrench into things. In a number of years from now, I'll promote out of this, perhaps, but for the forseeable future rotating shifts are reality.
I missed the Ministries Fair because of work. Augh!!
So... the situation is a little complex than just simple motivation. The desire is there, but I just can't take on responsibility for an endeavor that requires my routine presence.
Michael, I feel your pain. There was a thread here a while back that the Church doesn't do enough for its singles, with alot of agreement from multiple parties. I think another problem alot of us face is being a bit too old for the "young adults" and a bit too young for the "other singles".
Have you tried going to different masses? Maybe a more single crows attends a different service. I would absolutely call the parish office and ask about any ministries you haven't heard of yet. Also pray about making an appointment to speak to your pastor - mine has been an amazing source of encouragement and support.
Michael, I have noted a number of posts by you suggestive of your struggle since your conversion, due to your single state of life.
First, I would like to say that you might benefit by talking to a priest, and to learn that your journey to the Catholic faith and you staying in the Church should not rise or fall on how many single gals are at the parish you attend. Your faith walk has to be more secure than that.
I am a cradle Catholic and single for 54 years; should I quit the Chruch because I have the same problem? I am sure you see the answer is no, our faith is our faith irrespective of the social life the Church provides to us.
I also note here that you have a lot of reasons why you are not finding someone--you have to work, the parish near you, your schedule, etc.
I guess to that I would say a man has to HEROICALLY seek his vocation to marriage. That requires sacrifice, foregoing convenience, doing things that turn our to have been a waste of time, but still persevering, etc.
I see your reference that the youngers girls would not want you. My question is, have you asked them? How do you know? Women routinely end up married to men 10 years older than they are. Again, where is the heroism in your statement?
I see you are in suburban Tampa. That is a major metro area.
Here is a link to a Meetup group group for those 31 to 60:
Here is a link ot the "young adult" office of your diocese; I suggest you go and talk to them, and tell them about the issue you are facing:
On the "young adult" issue, you are still eligible (just barely) for those YAM groups, so I say GO NOW. And you can get way with going for about a year or two into the future. They don't card you, and as you say, you look young.
Finally, I agree with the other posters: use CM as a tool. I exhausted all the available guys in all the churches in Chicago 11 years ago, that is why I turned to the internet.
I am pushing you on this, because I feel strongly that a Catholic man who wants to be married can be so, all he has to do is PURSUE IT. I strongly encourage you to do that much more than it seems to me than you are doing it.
THe Church is not going to find you a wife, nor is She really going to even HELP you find one, particularly after you turn 40. Act now.
I feel for you, I really do, having been a single Catholic woman now in my mid fifties, I have tried many times to start a singles group in my church. They always fail, I have been to other Catholic Singles groups but generally they are not part of any church.
I agree that the church doesn't really "speak" to singles and I don't know why. I have an idea, it just seems that couples and families take precedence over singles for some reason. Being single can be a really lonely life, I have 30 years experience at it. I remember 12 years ago discussing this very topic with another "newly formed" singles group in a church, it eventually disapated as well. It can be and is extremely frustrating, many times I have pleaded for Him to bring me someone and then I hear someone prayed for 2 or 3 years (to me that is a weekend) and got a great partner. I have prayed for 25 going on 26 years about this.
In the meantime I have had many broken hearts and pain along the way. Two of which were with men in my church. I don't have any good advice but to keep trusting Him.
I will pray for you that the Lord will help you find the right mate. Trust Him. Although He hasn't answered my prayers for a suitable partner He has answered many others, I trust in His time, He will provide that desire of my heart and yours as well.
Peace and Blessings to you.
Christ Renews His Parish... largely a married person's affair,
In my experience Christ Renews His Parish is NOT largely a married person's affair, at all. But even if they are, the weekend isn't about if you are married, widowed, divorced/annulled, or single. It's about God, so think again about participating. The group of ladies I participated with were all older than me, most significantly older, but I am still close to them, after 6 years. Being a part of something helps keep our focus off of ourselves.
Get on line and look up the different parishes in your area...depending on how far you are willing to drive. Look for young adult groups and singles groups in the different bulletins. We have many in my diocese but you have to look for them. I go to a huge Catholic conference every year and they have a young adult gathering. So, check out Catholic workshops. conferences, etc. Google Catholic singles groups. Google Meet Up, one of the Catholic singles groups here is on Meet Up. Start one in your parish, I am sure you aren't alone in how you feel. At my church different masses tend to have different groups. Look for Teen Masses or Life teen masses...young adults often volunteer and run these groups. Typically, finding someone at mass is difficult. It is all about networking and aggressively looking and especially prayer. St Raphael is the patron of meetings and love. Read the Book of Tobit in the Catholic bible. I love this story and it is so encouraging!! It is a lesson in never giving up and believing in God's will for us.
Listen, if you think your over the hill at 39 I guess I'm sitting at the bottom of the hill lol!!
Good luck and God Bless you in your search!!!