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This room is for general discussion that doesn't specifically fit into one of the other CatholicMatch rooms. Topics should not be overly serious as this is to be more of a "cafe setting."

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12/17/2012 new

(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: I have a good friend who has gone through separation and divorce with me/while I was going throu...
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said:

I have a good friend who has gone through separation and divorce with me/while I was going through the same thing, and we pray and talk each other through many tough things. (In my marriage my ex never had my back -- he was the kind that would knock me down if the boogie man was chasing us just so I would get caught and he could get away!) And with my friend, I can feel protected and prayed for and safe -- even when I was going through a very hard time missing 'physical intimacy' I could ask for advice and prayer and he could talk me down and pray me through. He is kind of my 'template' for the man I hope to be blessed with. There are few men I've encountered lately that would 'protect his woman' but there are some out there!

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Rachel-That is great you had/have that friend!

12/17/2012 new

(Quote) Meg-920823 said: Rachel-That is great you had/have that friend!
(Quote) Meg-920823 said:


Rachel-That is great you had/have that friend!

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Thank you -- he is wonderful. and if he were ready for a new try at love I wouldn't be on here. He is gun-shy now. But he is an awesome man!

12/17/2012 new

(Quote) Clair-6292 said: I started this thread: www.catholicmatch.com to see where ...
(Quote) Clair-6292 said: I started this thread: www.catholicmatch.com to see where the mindset of CMers was. Saddly some didnot think they were OGMBC = One of God's most Beautiful creations. Some thought I was talking physical appearance Grnisis tells us Adam didnot protect Eve as she was tempted by satan. Adam had to have told Eve of the rule not to eat from the tree of good and evil since Eve was not yet created when God told Adam.

Women of CM, do you feel men, I know this is a generality, are living upto their call to protect you? Do you have good examples in your life? Do you feel the men on CM are living their role better than the public?

CM men are you aware your role is to protect women? Are you willing to assume that roll?

The world will only recover once we learn, return to God's will. How soon will that be?
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I would expect that CM men should be better than the people we meet outside of here in terms of how they treat women.I would hope that they would not know better and be Christ like examples for others to follow.I would expect that they would not abuse the women in their lives whether it be physical,financial or emotional abuse.I would expect them therefore to not use or promote the use of harsh words and especially expletives.I would hope that they would be men of their word,dedicated to the God and his holy sacraments including matrimony.

I have seen some on forums and chat rooms who try to promote comradarie among members.Some also have been good at correcting others on matters of our Catholic faith.

I just wonder if there could be some assistance given to our CM men eg promoting men's retreats ,healing prayers,workshops and even a forum giving guidelines ?

12/17/2012 new

Clair, sadly, I would say that in general men do not live up to their call to protect women, and they don't even do it here on CM.

One of the most basic things for which a woman needs protection is of her heart, and many hearts are broken here everday in how men respond (or make that don't respond) to the women on CM. A gentle return of a hello and a good wish is all that is needed, that is "Protection 101" of protecting women's hearts from harm, and guys on here fail at that all the time.

Every time a man doesn't respond with courtesy and a kind word, or an encouragement of their vocation (not with you, but in general), you do a little harm to a woman's heart. And that harm is cumulative, and in the long run, affects a woman's seeking (and the fulfillment) of her vocation to marriage. Even if you dont want to marry her, don't harm her in way, (great OR small), that in the long run, leave her with wounds (great or small). That is not protecting, in my opinion....

To put it in guy terms, think of every encounter with every woman like camping-- do not leave the campground in worse shape than when you arrived.

I am sure there are some men of honor out there...but I don't run into them very often, on CM or otherwise, I am sorry to say .....

12/17/2012 new

(Quote) Clair-6292 said: I started this thread: www.catholicmatch.com to see where ...
(Quote) Clair-6292 said: I started this thread: www.catholicmatch.com to see where the mindset of CMers was. Saddly some didnot think they were OGMBC = One of God's most Beautiful creations. Some thought I was talking physical appearance Grnisis tells us Adam didnot protect Eve as she was tempted by satan. Adam had to have told Eve of the rule not to eat from the tree of good and evil since Eve was not yet created when God told Adam.

Women of CM, do you feel men, I know this is a generality, are living upto their call to protect you? Do you have good examples in your life? Do you feel the men on CM are living their role better than the public?

CM men are you aware your role is to protect women? Are you willing to assume that roll?

The world will only recover once we learn, return to God's will. How soon will that be?
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i'd have to agree with much of what Pat said. I do believe some men will live up to their call to protect a woman - and I am waiting for one as such - but in general, I think most men have veered away from this direction. Perhaps more Catholic men would do this than in the general population, but I've met some Catholic men who don't fullfil this well. Some "talk the talk" but don't live what they say. I don't feel I have enough experience with the men of CM, but I agree with Pat's comments about the non-responders. Not something I particularly admire in these men. I mean, it's not a marriage proposal, it's just simple basic friendly communication.


I have 4 younger brothers and they are somewhat protective of me (they are not practicing Catholics though), but I've found I have had to fight a lot of battles on my own, and perhaps I got a bit of an "edge" as a result. In my case, I believe it's just a survival skill that I have acquired with experience, but I am not necessarily happy I had to do it that way. I have a problem when I watch classic movies from the first half of the last century, I want to meet some of the characters from these movies (Jimmy Stewart, I'm looking at you).


I don't know when the culture will change but I do see things really diversifying: some going more traditional and some going more liberal (not politically liberal but socially liberal). Something will have to come out of it eventually, but time will only tell.

12/18/2012 new

Clair,

I've got to say... living with some regrets, though I've done a fairly good job of protecting ladies in my life overall, that assuming the role of protector is probably just about the toughest role a man can take on these days. Women are independent and are GOING to do what THEY want to do. Society pushes all kinds of temptations in front of women and men, taking advantage of us where we are weakest. Overcoming such temptations and always doing what is right... is just about the toughest thing to do.


But it is our responsibility. While I don't think most mortal men are going to win 100% of the time in our efforts to protect our ladies and our families/children, I do think we can make great strides to set the tone and lay the underlying foundation.


I would certainly hope we men here are doing a better role protecting our families/friends/ladies we meet here. It is a thing that requires continuous effort and diligence.

Michael

12/18/2012 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Clair, sadly, I would say that in general men do not live up to their call to protect women, and they...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Clair, sadly, I would say that in general men do not live up to their call to protect women, and they don't even do it here on CM.

One of the most basic things for which a woman needs protection is of her heart, and many hearts are broken here everday in how men respond (or make that don't respond) to the women on CM. A gentle return of a hello and a good wish is all that is needed, that is "Protection 101" of protecting women's hearts from harm, and guys on here fail at that all the time.

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Pat, I have been on the receiving end of this particular issue myself. It is no fun for a man to have his heart stepped on in this manner, either. I tend to give my heart readily and have suffered for having my interest in ladies not returned in the distant past (years ago). Lessons learned. At least as far as online dating is concerned, women are equally as guilty of causing heartbreak as men. I think CM has a higher percentage of folks who WILL respond to messages than other dating sites I've used in days past. I certainly try to respond to messages I receive. We ALL need to have our hearts protected... but I think that begins with taking the first step to do so, ourselves.



12/18/2012 new

(Quote) Michael-780154 said: Pat, I have been on the receiving end of this particular issue myself. It...
(Quote) Michael-780154 said:


Pat, I have been on the receiving end of this particular issue myself. It is no fun for a man to have his heart stepped on in this manner, either. I tend to give my heart readily and have suffered for having my interest in ladies not returned in the distant past (years ago). Lessons learned. At least as far as online dating is concerned, women are equally as guilty of causing heartbreak as men. I think CM has a higher percentage of folks who WILL respond to messages than other dating sites I've used in days past. I certainly try to respond to messages I receive. We ALL need to have our hearts protected... but I think that begins with taking the first step to do so, ourselves.



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Michael, watch where you walk. This thread has all the makings and just has been set-up to be another male bash-fest. rolling eyes


Tread very carefully! smile


theheart

12/18/2012 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: Michael, watch where you walk. This thread has all the makings and just has been se...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:


Michael, watch where you walk. This thread has all the makings and just has been set-up to be another male bash-fest.


Tread very carefully!

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whoa -- no man-bashing allowed! or woman-bashing!


How can we help each other be the best we can be if we are the stumbling blocks for others by setting them up and bashing them!


Stop and breathe. wait and pray, then... be loving!

12/18/2012 new

(Quote) Michael-780154 said: Pat, I have been on the receiving end of this particular issue myself. It...
(Quote) Michael-780154 said:


Pat, I have been on the receiving end of this particular issue myself. It is no fun for a man to have his heart stepped on in this manner, either. I tend to give my heart readily and have suffered for having my interest in ladies not returned in the distant past (years ago). Lessons learned. At least as far as online dating is concerned, women are equally as guilty of causing heartbreak as men. I think CM has a higher percentage of folks who WILL respond to messages than other dating sites I've used in days past. I certainly try to respond to messages I receive. We ALL need to have our hearts protected... but I think that begins with taking the first step to do so, ourselves.



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It must be very difficult to want to and try to be the protectors of women who either scorn you for it or revile you for not doing enough!

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