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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 18th 2012 new

When I first joined here a few months ago I asked the advise of a few people I knew who had been on here how the site works( a couple of them had success, one I know is now engaged). They told me that the guy initiates first by viewing the profile and then if the woman is interested she would view yours. Then the guy would communicate in some way.
So hearing this is a first for me.

Dec 18th 2012 new

Sometimes God gives us a nudge - I sent an emote to the gentleman I am getting to know - not even thinking it would get this far - he sent one back and we have been communicatiing ever since. It is a LDR but so far seems promising - Never in my wildest dreams thought I would date someone 1200 miles away or let alone want to get to know someone in this way. I always wanted to go the easy route - local and had my list in tow. Sometimes you have to let go and let God and this is what I did. Like anything in life there are sacrifices to be made. So if someone strikes your fancy send him a note - who cares who sent the first note. I would rather be in a LDR with love between the miles than a local relationship where the guy could have given a crap about me - me always chasing them - them not calling or asking to spend time with me - those relationships hurt. And some of them were with guys I met here on CM - good grief.

Dec 18th 2012 new

If I receive a "view" AND I am interested/attracted to the viewer I will send an emote thanking him for stopping by. If I don't hear back I know it is either because he is not interested/attracted or not a paying member. Either way is fine because it's up to God anyway. But you can't ask God to guide your footsteps if you refuse to move your feet.

Dec 18th 2012 new

I feel soooo flattered when a man views my profile. I view his profile in turn. I might write a friendly comment, send good wishes, or not send anything at all.

I suppose that some, just like I am, are intrigued at the post I wrote. Others, like me embarassed, are window shopping. Just like I / we do when going to a party, the supermarket, a game, a concert... I'm always on the lookout! shhh

Last night I was thinking what a joy to have stumbled into CM. I have found a true cummunity: we support / pray for each other, wink at times, ask for advise, and - yes- fight and make peace.

wink Mari

Dec 18th 2012 new

(Quote) Kelly-846180 said: That's great that that worked out for them! I messaged a guy who viewed me witho...
(Quote) Kelly-846180 said:


That's great that that worked out for them! I messaged a guy who viewed me without saying a word, and we talked/skyped a lot for about 6 weeks. Then he dropped off the face of the earth. Didn't work out so well for me!

--hide--


It goes with the territory of online dating. But keep trying because it increases the odds you'll meet someone. Those who sit back and wait for their prince to come may never find that special someone. fortune favors the bold.

Dec 18th 2012 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: If you have a profile picture it means that as he was cruising, searching or reading the forums, your...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

If you have a profile picture it means that as he was cruising, searching or reading the forums, your picture, or your post plus your picture intrigued him enough for him to look at your profile. why it intrigued him, I don't know, but probably intrigued in a good way most likely....

The fact that he didn't write means only two things: 1) he didn't like what he saw upon closer inspection, for what he is looking for, or 2) he liked what he saw but for some reason (no time, shy, scared, has someone even more to his liking on the line) he has not written, yet....

So that is what it means! Either way, he didn't want to contact you/me, so I say, move on and not worry about it. If he wants to contact you in the future, he is a big boy and knows how to do it!

--hide--

I totally agree with everything you wrote here, Pat! I do wonder though, what it means when he looks at your profile, you look at his (because curiousity gets the better of all of us at some point!), he looks at yours again, and does so on a fairly consistent basis, but doesn't send a message? Enquiring minds want to know! laughing

Dec 18th 2012 new

(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said: I totally agree with everything you wrote here, Pat! I do wonder though, w...
(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said:

I totally agree with everything you wrote here, Pat! I do wonder though, what it means when he looks at your profile, you look at his (because curiousity gets the better of all of us at some point!), he looks at yours again, and does so on a fairly consistent basis, but doesn't send a message? Enquiring minds want to know!

--hide--


If he keeps looking and doesn't message it's likely that he's just browsing and plowing through profiles en masse. Since the notification sytem only alerts of a view every 30 days there's no real way of knowing how many times that person views your profile during the interim.


theheart

Dec 18th 2012 new

(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said: I totally agree with everything you wrote here, Pat! I do wonder though, w...
(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said:

I totally agree with everything you wrote here, Pat! I do wonder though, what it means when he looks at your profile, you look at his (because curiousity gets the better of all of us at some point!), he looks at yours again, and does so on a fairly consistent basis, but doesn't send a message? Enquiring minds want to know!

--hide--


I believe they call them a stalker. laughing or as Nancy calls it, a window shopper and I would add a window shopper who just likes to window shop.

Dec 18th 2012 new
(Quote) Molly-236515 said: So my sister and I were talking about those lovely emails that tell you. "Johnny has viewed your profile!...
(Quote) Molly-236515 said:

So my sister and I were talking about those lovely emails that tell you. "Johnny has viewed your profile!!!!" I say if there is no follow up with a message/emotiongram etc., then it is another rejection. She says that he wants you to view his profile and respond. What do you think????





--hide--


I will create Searches, or see someone in a thread, in whom I might be interested and I will click on their photo and look at their profile. If he looks back at my profile, but don't send me an emotigram or a message, I interpret that as him not being interested. So I guess, I am willing to "drop the hankie", as Victor called it, but then I expect/hope the man will do something more significant if he is interested in me. I have come to realize I need a man to take charge from the get go, because I want him to take charge in the relationship/marriage.

I just came across this CM if anyone is interested. It came out today and is about this very topic. Here is an excerpt.

CatholicMatch Men: Lead And We Will Follow

"If a man, according to Scripture, is the 'head of a wife,' well then us CatholicMatch ladies should be sitting back with our feet up waiting for noble CatholicMatch men to make the first move, right?

According to Scott Croft, a contributor to Focus on the Familys 'Boundless' webzine, the answer is, indeed, yes. He wrote in his 2005 post:

'I think it is part of our job as men to risk rejection and be the initiators of dates and dating relationships, and if you wait until she has gone out on a limb and made her interest known, youre asking her to take the risk instead of taking it on yourself.'

Croft goes on to say that a woman pursuing a man sets a tone in the relationship for reversed biblical roles in marriage:

'The much wiser course in a dating contextboth for purposes of evaluating a potential spouse in biblical terms and to lay the groundwork for a biblically sound marriageis for the guy to model godly initiative and leadership with the womans good in mind, and for the woman to respond to that leadership.' - www.catholicmatch.com
Dec 18th 2012 new

Just looking and looking repeatedly over many long months means he is not a paying member, comes to Cm occasionally and sees you "anew" each time and looks at you. But the entire experience does not prompt him to do anything (like actually pay up, or write).

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