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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Pre-Marital Sex

Dec 20th 2012 new

There is a movie that Hollywood put out in 2005 called "The 40 Year Old Virgin". I'm the real-life version although I am nothing like Steve Carell's character in the film. Being a virgin in America is rare today. Being a virgin at my age is about as rare as finding a college professor who voted for Mitt Romney.

The way I look at my virginity is neither with shame nor bravado. It is what it is and it is a personal choice. You see, when I was in high school I didn't date very much and back then I was extremely shy. Little changed much after I graduated and only until I got into my mid-20s did I begin to come out of my shell. I began to go out on dates albeit not with a lot of women and one of the reasons why I chose to remain celibate is because I respect women. Yes, faith has a lot to do with it, but I was concerned about various diseases out there and the possibility of getting a woman pregnant without us being married. I made the choice to wait until marriage and, honestly, it has not been easy. I have wrestled with it for many years and even came close to breaking my pledge, but I still remain chaste.

While I may not be qualified to comment on it, I always viewed pre-marital sex as like opening your Christmas presents prior to Christmas. Imagine that you just can't wait until Christmas Day to open your presents so you decide to unwrap them early. You would get the satisfaction of knowing what you got and being able to use your presents, but once it became Christmas Day, it wouldn't mean so much, would it? That is how I view pre-marital sex.

I will not lie. I have sinned and looked at inappropriate magazines and videos in the past. And I have had impure thoughts about women in the past. However, I never could be the guy that has one-night stands or flings with women. Sex certainly is a part of love, but it is not the biggest part. Ideally, I would like to find one woman who digs me as much as I dig her and we focus on each other from friendship to courtship to relationship to Battleship. Okay, just kidding on the latter. But as great as making out can be, there's nothing like holding someone in your arms during this time of year and watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special together. Or walking hand-in-hand with that person through the shopping mall or riding in the car as you gaze at the Christmas lights on all of the houses. And this can all be done without having sex.

So, I know that we all have the pre-marital sex question and answer on our profile and I hope this helps explain my answer. I don't think of myself as any better or worse of a person because I am a virgin. I would rather people see me as a good, honest person that knows that he isn't perfect and never will be, but tries every day to do God's work while here on Earth. And, believe me, I have been turned down by some women when they found out that I was a virgin. Some of them felt like I was too good for them or they felt uncomfortable knowing that there was a probability that they would be my "first" if we were to get married. I may not have the experience, but what I lack in experience I think that I more than make up with sincerity, affection, romance and unconditional love. Hopefully, some woman someday sees that.

Dec 20th 2012 new

Jeff...you are a breath of fresh air! hug You are the guy I've been looking for! heart Too bad I live too far away. You sound like total sweetheart! wink I too am a virgin and proud of it. I have given myself to God, and I am His first. theheart I believe in waiting till marriage. angel I would love to cuddle up on couch and watch Charlie Brown Christmas. I love Christmas! I love celebrating Jesus! I always Keep CHRIST in Christmas!

BTW...I love Battleship! laughing

cookiemonster santahat xmastree United States Flag

Dec 20th 2012 new

Im from the old school.You should wait till your married.

Dec 20th 2012 new

Darn it Jeff, you opened the Christmas present and then rewrapped it eyepopping K, this is proof, we are all a work in progress! Merry Christmas to everyone!~

Dec 20th 2012 new

Being a self proclaimed "born again virgin" (having been married) I definitely believe it is better to wait until the wedding night to become one. Even though it is harder to resist once you have the knowledge of it, you will be blessed for it. Of course at my age, by the time that happens, if it happens, it might not be able to happen....scratchchin laughing

Dec 20th 2012 new

(Quote) Jeff-406043 said: There is a movie that Hollywood put out in 2005 called "The 40 Year Old Virgin". I'm...
(Quote) Jeff-406043 said:

There is a movie that Hollywood put out in 2005 called "The 40 Year Old Virgin". I'm the real-life version although I am nothing like Steve Carell's character in the film. Being a virgin in America is rare today. Being a virgin at my age is about as rare as finding a college professor who voted for Mitt Romney.

The way I look at my virginity is neither with shame nor bravado. It is what it is and it is a personal choice. You see, when I was in high school I didn't date very much and back then I was extremely shy. Little changed much after I graduated and only until I got into my mid-20s did I begin to come out of my shell. I began to go out on dates albeit not with a lot of women and one of the reasons why I chose to remain celibate is because I respect women. Yes, faith has a lot to do with it, but I was concerned about various diseases out there and the possibility of getting a woman pregnant without us being married. I made the choice to wait until marriage and, honestly, it has not been easy. I have wrestled with it for many years and even came close to breaking my pledge, but I still remain chaste.

While I may not be qualified to comment on it, I always viewed pre-marital sex as like opening your Christmas presents prior to Christmas. Imagine that you just can't wait until Christmas Day to open your presents so you decide to unwrap them early. You would get the satisfaction of knowing what you got and being able to use your presents, but once it became Christmas Day, it wouldn't mean so much, would it? That is how I view pre-marital sex.

I will not lie. I have sinned and looked at inappropriate magazines and videos in the past. And I have had impure thoughts about women in the past. However, I never could be the guy that has one-night stands or flings with women. Sex certainly is a part of love, but it is not the biggest part. Ideally, I would like to find one woman who digs me as much as I dig her and we focus on each other from friendship to courtship to relationship to Battleship. Okay, just kidding on the latter. But as great as making out can be, there's nothing like holding someone in your arms during this time of year and watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special together. Or walking hand-in-hand with that person through the shopping mall or riding in the car as you gaze at the Christmas lights on all of the houses. And this can all be done without having sex.

So, I know that we all have the pre-marital sex question and answer on our profile and I hope this helps explain my answer. I don't think of myself as any better or worse of a person because I am a virgin. I would rather people see me as a good, honest person that knows that he isn't perfect and never will be, but tries every day to do God's work while here on Earth. And, believe me, I have been turned down by some women when they found out that I was a virgin. Some of them felt like I was too good for them or they felt uncomfortable knowing that there was a probability that they would be my "first" if we were to get married. I may not have the experience, but what I lack in experience I think that I more than make up with sincerity, affection, romance and unconditional love. Hopefully, some woman someday sees that.

--hide--


wave clap clap clap clap clap hug

Dec 20th 2012 new
Jeff, you wrote: "Being a virgin at my age is about as rare as finding a college professor who voted for Mitt Romney."

You are not alone! I have a 51-year-old devout Catholic male friend who is a virgin. He is getting married to a 39-year-old devout Catholic woman, also a virgin, in ~1 week.
Dec 24th 2012 new

I admire people who wait. I understand and respect the reasons. But I find it very difficult to do so in a serious relationship.

Dec 24th 2012 new
It's a great thing. The devil is trying to talk you into compromising your values. A woman can fall in love with you while having self-control. Our culture has become all about wanting something yesterday...and this nonsense you have to have sex to know if you can love someone is riddiculous..of the devil, I say. The woman God has planned for you won't care and she will be happy you waited. ;)
Dec 26th 2012 new

(Quote) Michaela-695223 said: It's a great thing. The devil is trying to talk you into compromising your values. A woman can fa...
(Quote) Michaela-695223 said: It's a great thing. The devil is trying to talk you into compromising your values. A woman can fall in love with you while having self-control. Our culture has become all about wanting something yesterday...and this nonsense you have to have sex to know if you can love someone is riddiculous..of the devil, I say. The woman God has planned for you won't care and she will be happy you waited. ;)
--hide--


Ugh, God is not going to send you to hell if you are not a virgin. I think he has bigger worries in the world!! I will say in my short dating experience with other catholic women, I have a little experience. I have found it to be very emotional and you feel not so great when the relationship ends. Because you still feel something for the person you were close with. That is why I am a born again myself. I found that I enjoyed cuddling and kissing to be more fun, to be honest. I also think you can share a bed with a person and not have relations, again it might be tempting and emotional though. I think it is an adults decision if both people are consenting.


I do not see it in the ten commandments, all it says is though shall not covet thy neighbors wife. I would say it is more of a personal decision if your in a commited dating or engagement situation. I would agree that it is NOT okay to sleep with every woman you meet in a bar or where ever.

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