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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Dec 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Joanna-615441 said: His heart tells him he is a boy in need of maternal approval. Gently encourage when you can, as...
(Quote) Joanna-615441 said:

His heart tells him he is a boy in need of maternal approval. Gently encourage when you can, ask him about his dreams and aspirations. The key is to get him to have a hope for his future.
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Theresa, This thread includes incredibly good advice. You are in the mother role for this young man and you're essentially reparenting him, even if he is temporarily out of your home. (I believe that he will be back.) Continue to encourage him to complete the tribal paperwork. He mentioned an uncle who has guided him. Help him to explore reconnecting with that uncle. A combination of agencies and professionals helping him (esp. a therapist familiar with trauma, substance abuse and Native American issues); at least partially functioning family of origin members helping him (his uncle?); and friends helping him (you and your family) may help this young man eventually build a functional life. He is very likely to benefit a great deal from learning more abt his tribe and its history, so he can gain some self esteem and an internal sense of self. If there is some sort of tribal male figure (coach? spiritual leader? teacher of some sort?) who can be uncovered to help him, even at least occasionally, that would be ideal.

God be with you and this young man. He certainly has a difficult road ahead of him.

Dec 24th 2012 new

(Quote) Margo-404841 said: Theresa, This thread includes incredibly good advice. You are in the mother role for thi...
(Quote) Margo-404841 said:

Theresa, This thread includes incredibly good advice. You are in the mother role for this young man and you're essentially reparenting him, even if he is temporarily out of your home. (I believe that he will be back.) Continue to encourage him to complete the tribal paperwork. He mentioned an uncle who has guided him. Help him to explore reconnecting with that uncle. A combination of agencies and professionals helping him (esp. a therapist familiar with trauma, substance abuse and Native American issues); at least partially functioning family of origin members helping him (his uncle?); and friends helping him (you and your family) may help this young man eventually build a functional life. He is very likely to benefit a great deal from learning more abt his tribe and its history, so he can gain some self esteem and an internal sense of self. If there is some sort of tribal male figure (coach? spiritual leader? teacher of some sort?) who can be uncovered to help him, even at least occasionally, that would be ideal.

God be with you and this young man. He certainly has a difficult road ahead of him.

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Margo I am taking everyones advise to heart. Unfortunitly, I missed a call from a lady who's worked with him before and is involved in the community.Noone is answering the phone because they are on holiday leave. I was attending my younger cousins funeral, this is on the heals of my grandmothers funeral. My other grandmother died this year around Easter. Thank God I have my faith, Im so lucky to know him and be able to draw on his strenghth. My sons friend came back today but I wasnt home. I think he's avoiding me. I think he will show up on Christmas eve or Christmas day. From what my son said, he went back to his grandmothers house, but that may not last. Its too early to close the book on this. For my part, I will continue to gather info for him and put him in contact with people who can help him. When he returns, I will give him the info and let it go.....
Merry Christmas

Dec 24th 2012 new
Prayers for you and this young man on Christmas...Sometimes all it takes is one caring person to turn a persons life around....Believe me, I know.....It was no accident that he showed up on your doorsteps...hang in there...

God Bless,

Merry Christmas
Dec 24th 2012 new

(Quote) Sue-501768 said: Prayers for you and this young man on Christmas...Sometimes all it takes is one caring person to turn a pe...
(Quote) Sue-501768 said: Prayers for you and this young man on Christmas...Sometimes all it takes is one caring person to turn a persons life around....Believe me, I know.....It was no accident that he showed up on your doorsteps...hang in there...

God Bless,

Merry Christmas
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Thanks Sue Merry Christmas to you too.

Dec 24th 2012 new
Theresa, you are an amazing person and so is your young son who cared enough about this young man to bring him home. You probably saved this young man's life.

You have great advise from the CM members and I can't think of anything to add to it.

I am truly sorry for the loss of your grandmother and young cousin.

God will bless you abundantly for all you are doing for this young man. I wish you and your son, and your young friend a very Merry Christmas.
Dec 24th 2012 new

(Quote) Theresa-911246 said: I was attending my younger cousins funeral, this is on the heals of my grandmothers funeral. My...
(Quote) Theresa-911246 said:

I was attending my younger cousins funeral, this is on the heals of my grandmothers funeral. My other grandmother died this year around Easter. Thank God I have my faith, Im so lucky to know him and be able to draw on his strenghth. My sons friend came back today but I wasnt home. I think he's avoiding me. I think he will show up on Christmas eve or Christmas day. From what my son said, he went back to his grandmothers house, but that may not last. Its too early to close the book on this. For my part, I will continue to gather info for him and put him in contact with people who can help him. When he returns, I will give him the info and let it go.....
Merry Christmas

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Theresa, I am keeping you, your extended family and this young man in my prayers. There was a song about holy darkness at church last week that really resonated for me. Blessed Christmas to you all.

Dec 28th 2012 new

This is going to sound a little stupid, but one option might be to try and get him to a community college. Particularly if he has provable tribal affiliations, he can probably get financial aid and scholarships. You can usually also obtain work and sometimes housing this way.

Another option if he is clean (ie no addiction issues) and reasonably healthy might be to help him find local recruiters.

Just the fact that you are doing anything is great.


Get Dave Pelzer's books in the house. They are very inspirational, and this is a man who came from a horrible situation, cycled through foster care, and has made himself a successful adult. Sometimes all somebody needs is knowing that someone cares. Praying for you.

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