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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Mindreading

Dec 27th 2012 new
The one thing I don't understand about a few of the women who I have met is that they expect me to automatically know what they want. And when I ask them about their expectations, they say things like "You should just know." I know from speaking with other men that my experiences are not unique.

Why do many women do that instead of speaking their minds to let their man know their wants and their needs?
Dec 27th 2012 new
(Quote) John-220051 said: The one thing I don't understand about a few of the women who I have met is that they expect me to automaticall...
(Quote) John-220051 said: The one thing I don't understand about a few of the women who I have met is that they expect me to automatically know what they want. And when I ask them about their expectations, they say things like "You should just know." I know from speaking with other men that my experiences are not unique.



Why do many women do that instead of speaking their minds to let their man know their wants and their needs?
--hide--


I do not have any problem communicating my wants, needs and desires.
Dec 27th 2012 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: Why do many women do that instead of speaking their minds to let their man know their wants and their...
(Quote) John-220051 said:
Why do many women do that instead of speaking their minds to let their man know their wants and their needs?
--hide--

Perhaps it's some sort of litmus test for them, that if a particular man knows what they want without them speaking it, then that man is suitable for them.

Then again, there are some things that a woman would like a man to know without having to tell him. I've only received flowers twice in my life, and each time I had to drop non-subtle hints. Flowers and other little tokens are obviously not necessary, but it definitely is lovely to have someone think of you and expend at least a little frivolous effort on your behalf. And I think many women would agree with me that they would rather receive something little and sweet that's heart-felt, rather than any big-ticket garish item. If you have a pen and a piece of paper, even a little note would be greatly appreciated and treasured!

Dec 27th 2012 new

John, a lot of women are highly intuitive. We pay attention to the details in mannerisms. It's probably a maternal thing as we tend to babies that can't tell us what is wrong. So, when our spouse comes home from work tired, we see it before he tells us, and have him sit down while we get him a beverage. When our child is frustrated with homework, we know when to offer assistance or a much needed break. All these things we do without a second thought because we care.

It is disconcerting to not have someone see that we are tired or ill or need a break. It can seem that the other doesn't really care. I think this changes as we mature and have realize the differences between men and women. My son can't see a garbage can overflowing, instead it is a challenge to see how much he can teeter on the top. My husband couldn't read my emotions, and if I didn't tell him directly what I needed, he would pile more on top of me.

There is no right or wrong here and not everyone is the same. It is just one of the beautiful differences between the sexes. If men were concerned about how everyone was feeling, they would lose that edge needed to fight wars or protect their families or climb the corporate ladder. JMHO.

Dec 27th 2012 new

Hi John! I communicate my wants and needs because I do not think it is fair to expect someone to read my mind. Plus, I've learned that men seem to do better when they receive information upfront - and I mean that with the utmost respect. Sadly, this backfired in my last relationship. I guess my boyfriend thought I was trying to be coy. He did the exact opposite of whatever I said. This was one of the reasons - among others - that I chose to let him go. I think this is another one of those things that goes into the pile of whether or not another person is our match! Michelle

Dec 27th 2012 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: The one thing I don't understand about a few of the women who I have met is that they expect me to au...
(Quote) John-220051 said: The one thing I don't understand about a few of the women who I have met is that they expect me to automatically know what they want. And when I ask them about their expectations, they say things like "You should just know." I know from speaking with other men that my experiences are not unique.

Why do many women do that instead of speaking their minds to let their man know their wants and their needs?
--hide--


This answer would depend on what stage of the relationship it is at. In the beginning, sometimes it can be a juggling act. Starting a relationship on line is not easy and therefore the sooner one meets and get to know each other the more you will find out what the expectations are. I think this is a two way street, men need to express their expectations and the women must do this as well.

A healthy relationship starts at the beginning and communication is the key. If you don't communicate well at the beginning beyond the awkwardness then you have to decide if this is the right one.

Is it mindreading or havng good communication skills. scratchchin

Dec 27th 2012 new
(Quote) Mary-25961 said: This answer would depend on what stage of the relationship it is at. In the beginning, sometimes it can...
(Quote) Mary-25961 said:



This answer would depend on what stage of the relationship it is at. In the beginning, sometimes it can be a juggling act. Starting a relationship on line is not easy and therefore the sooner one meets and get to know each other the more you will find out what the expectations are. I think this is a two way street, men need to express their expectations and the women must do this as well.

A healthy relationship starts at the beginning and communication is the key. If you don't communicate well at the beginning beyond the awkwardness then you have to decide if this is the right one.

Is it mindreading or havng good communication skills.

--hide--


My last girlfriend and I broke up because she expected me to read her mind, and she'd get angry when I would ask her what she was looking for.

I've learned to be less timid on my end when it comes to speaking my mind. It was something I learned after over five and a half years of having an extremely close platonic female best friend.
Dec 27th 2012 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: My last girlfriend and I broke up because she expected me to read her mind, and she'd get ang...
(Quote) John-220051 said:

My last girlfriend and I broke up because she expected me to read her mind, and she'd get angry when I would ask her what she was looking for.

I've learned to be less timid on my end when it comes to speaking my mind. It was something I learned after over five and a half years of having an extremely close platonic female best friend.
--hide--




Shouldn't your girlfriend be your "extremely close" (platonic) best female freind? Just a thought.

Dec 27th 2012 new

(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: Shouldn't your girlfriend be your "extremely close" (platonic) ...
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said:





Shouldn't your girlfriend be your "extremely close" (platonic) best female freind? Just a thought.

--hide--





Or maybe your extremely close platonic best friend should be your girlfriend. wink

Dec 27th 2012 new
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: Shouldn't your girlfriend be your "extremely close" (platonic) best female fr...
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said:





Shouldn't your girlfriend be your "extremely close" (platonic) best female freind? Just a thought.

--hide--


I asked her about commitment in October, and she turned me down, saying "we're not compatible."
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