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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

eyebrowI hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Year 2 of being alone. I had made plans but the weather turned foul, roads were icy and I ended up cancelling. I am too leery being a woman alone to travel on slippery roads. I was a little more OK with it than last year and here's my comment I hope can make you smile.

I thought I'd be in another relationship by now.

I was positive that I would be dating this year and not trying to desperately throw together plans for New Year's Eve. I have been separated/divorced/anulled for over 2 years without even one date. I work with mentally ill adults so I have no way to meet people. I get home so exhausted from the mental games, complaining, crises that I had to "fix" that I can barely move.

My ex is living with his new gilfriend and I'm the one all alone. This stinks. Just wondered if anyone else is a little surprised they aren't in a relationship.

Hugs to all,

Lorrie

12/27/2012 new

(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said: I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Year 2 of being alone. I had made plans but the weather t...
(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said:

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Year 2 of being alone. I had made plans but the weather turned foul, roads were icy and I ended up cancelling. I am too leery being a woman alone to travel on slippery roads. I was a little more OK with it than last year and here's my comment I hope can make you smile.

I thought I'd be in another relationship by now.

I was positive that I would be dating this year and not trying to desperately throw together plans for New Year's Eve. I have been separated/divorced/anulled for over 2 years without even one date. I work with mentally ill adults so I have no way to meet people. I get home so exhausted from the mental games, complaining, crises that I had to "fix" that I can barely move.

My ex is living with his new gilfriend and I'm the one all alone. This stinks. Just wondered if anyone else is a little surprised they aren't in a relationship.

Hugs to all,

Lorrie

--hide--


Lorrie, I am so sorry to hear of your being "stuck" in a position where you cannot date. I am in a similar position, given rotating shifts that always take me out of commission because of WORK when others are NOT working.... seems I'm always working weekends. It is indeed frustrating. In March, I will be at the two year point since my divorce was final as well. Already. Frustrating and scary, as I'm ready to move on (though I still await an annulment decision so don't sweat my lack of dating too much.)

Like you, I am exhausted after work. And, shift hours mean that I'm too tired to go back out when I must be back up for work shortly after regular folks go to sleep on "party nights." I feel your lack of energy and being able to just barely move. I'd say that might be depression...

With relationships, much comes down to availability. Much comes down to pure luck. Take the time you need to recharge, and keep efforts here alive. Does your Church have activities that may possibly put you in touch with great Catholic men? Praying for you.

Peace,

Michael

12/27/2012 new

(Quote) Michael-780154 said: Lorrie, I am so sorry to hear of your being "stuck" in a positi...
(Quote) Michael-780154 said:


Lorrie, I am so sorry to hear of your being "stuck" in a position where you cannot date. I am in a similar position, given rotating shifts that always take me out of commission because of WORK when others are NOT working.... seems I'm always working weekends. It is indeed frustrating. In March, I will be at the two year point since my divorce was final as well. Already. Frustrating and scary, as I'm ready to move on (though I still await an annulment decision so don't sweat my lack of dating too much.)

Like you, I am exhausted after work. And, shift hours mean that I'm too tired to go back out when I must be back up for work shortly after regular folks go to sleep on "party nights." I feel your lack of energy and being able to just barely move. I'd say that might be depression...

With relationships, much comes down to availability. Much comes down to pure luck. Take the time you need to recharge, and keep efforts here alive. Does your Church have activities that may possibly put you in touch with great Catholic men? Praying for you.

Peace,

Michael

--hide--

Wow Michael,

Sounds like we're in the same boat. The more you're alone, the more bummed out you get, which zaps your energy and then...the more you are alone. It's a self-defeating cycle. I pray your anullment goes well and you hear soon.

Thanks for your warm comments,

Lorrie

12/27/2012 new

(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said: Wow Michael, Sounds like we're in the same boat. The more you'r...
(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said:

Wow Michael,

Sounds like we're in the same boat. The more you're alone, the more bummed out you get, which zaps your energy and then...the more you are alone. It's a self-defeating cycle. I pray your anullment goes well and you hear soon.

Thanks for your warm comments,

Lorrie

--hide--


Lorrie, exactly. I am well away from friends across the state (had to move to Tampa following career loss earlier this year), and struggle mightily with just what you describe. I try to break out by attending ANY church event I can, and by keeping correspondence alive with friends on the East coast of Florida. These two things, plus involvement in these forums have been a help. Please know I'll include you in my prayers this evening.

Blessings,

Michael

12/27/2012 new

Lorrie,

Do not despair. I have a friend who just got married and she was alone for 4 years. She met her husband when she least expected it. My sister told me about a friend of hers who was single for 10 following her divorce. She thought that she would be single for the rest of her life because she was alone for 10 years. Then one day when she was walking her dog she bumped into her high school sweetheart. It just so happened that he just moved into an aprtment down the street from her and he was also divorced. Anyways, eventually they married. She was in her 50's when she ran into him. She has a double frame picture of him and her in high school when they went to their high school prom together and then years later when they got married. She told my sister she would go through everything she went through to be where she is today.......married to her high school sweetheart. Soooo you never know. Sometimes things happen when you least expect them to.

12/27/2012 new

Well.. I am going into my 21st year of singleness.. I have been on here over 8 years.. My last real date was October 2010.. Noooo, I did not think I would still be single. boggled

12/27/2012 new

(Quote) Kathy-730470 said: Lorrie, Do not despair. I have a friend who just got married and she was alone for 4 years...
(Quote) Kathy-730470 said:

Lorrie,

Do not despair. I have a friend who just got married and she was alone for 4 years. She met her husband when she least expected it. My sister told me about a friend of hers who was single for 10 following her divorce. She thought that she would be single for the rest of her life because she was alone for 10 years. Then one day when she was walking her dog she bumped into her high school sweetheart. It just so happened that he just moved into an aprtment down the street from her and he was also divorced. Anyways, eventually they married. She was in her 50's when she ran into him. She has a double frame picture of him and her in high school when they went to their high school prom together and then years later when they got married. She told my sister she would go through everything she went through to be where she is today.......married to her high school sweetheart. Soooo you never know. Sometimes things happen when you least expect them to.

--hide--


Oh my, this is so sweet. Thanks, Kathy, for that ray of hope!

I'm enjoying dates with my sons (they took me to Skyfall last night) and a date with my dad (to see Les Mis next week). Even a nice non-date with a male friend last Sunday. It all helps take the edge off, especially during the Christmas season.

I'm aware there's a difference in my life between aloneness and loneliness. I'm slowly becoming more comfortable in my aloneness. But when a wave of loneliness hits, along with grief, it hits hard.

Patience. Cling to Jesus in His Most Sacred Heart. He will enfold you in His Love and if it's God's will, He will prepare your heart for just the right person...or perhaps keep you for His very own. theheart

12/28/2012 new
Kathy that's a great love story! It's particularly encouraging to me since I'm almost 50 and have been divorced/annulled for over 10 years. I tried to date right after the divorce but I was too wounded to be ready for a solid relationship. Now I've raised my kids - just about done with that - I'm truly ready to meet someone. I put my eggs in the CM basket hoping I'd meet a nice Catholic guy my age. We'll see!
12/28/2012 new

(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said: I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Year 2 of being alone. I had made plans but the weather t...
(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said:

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Year 2 of being alone. I had made plans but the weather turned foul, roads were icy and I ended up cancelling. I am too leery being a woman alone to travel on slippery roads. I was a little more OK with it than last year and here's my comment I hope can make you smile.

I thought I'd be in another relationship by now.

I was positive that I would be dating this year and not trying to desperately throw together plans for New Year's Eve. I have been separated/divorced/anulled for over 2 years without even one date. I work with mentally ill adults so I have no way to meet people. I get home so exhausted from the mental games, complaining, crises that I had to "fix" that I can barely move.

My ex is living with his new gilfriend and I'm the one all alone. This stinks. Just wondered if anyone else is a little surprised they aren't in a relationship.

Hugs to all,

Lorrie

--hide--



Oh goodness, Lorrie. You are SO not alone. I had plans to go to Atlanta to be there for my birthday (tomorrow) and for at least part of New Years's Eve. The weather got bad, and travel is questionable, so I felt it best NOT to put my 2 kids in my car and drive, risking a mountain pass that can be really treacherous if the weather takes a sudden turn. eyepopping

I bought this gorgeous dress for New Year's Eve, thinking I would for sure have a " date" - maybe go out for a few hours, be home before all the crazies hit, and I have a girl friend and her LD "boyfriend" coming over to watch movies, hang out. No dice, no date. No child care either for that matter. And no Atlanta with my family who would have been taking me out to a lovely dinner and celebration for my birthday. I just couldn't sacrifice my kids' safety so I could have a good time, ya know? Sure, I can go out on my own with my friend and her guy friend, but who wants to be "tag along Joe" on New Year's Eve. Thanks but I'll pass.


So when you are sitting home alone for New Year's Eve, I will be too. Working on my business plan, looking at various marketting strategies, with my glasses and my warm ups, as the beautiful dress hangs in my closet.


As for guys, even guy friends, well, one guy asked me to go to New York with him (like I can do that with two kids on short notice), and the other guy seems like a friend and prefers to be home alone so who the heck knows. It is what it is, I have work to do, so I'll just be leaving it at that. rolling eyes I figure the dress is good for at least another few years.

12/28/2012 new
I have a few dresses that are looking pretty on their hangers... Maybe... Maybe I'll wear one on New Years Eve anyway!!! Ladies, let's get dolled up anyway!
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