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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Rejections

Dec 28th 2012 new

Hello,

I'm not sure if there is a related topic on how to deal with rejections. I don't know much about rejections only on how I've dealt with different type of rejections and only what I've heard and read. I do have one specific part I want to deal with at this moment which is finding ways to comfort myself after a rejection. A [former sad] female "friend" said it to me through a text message today that it might be better for both of us to move on & she said goodbye. It was a longer message but that's the main point of the message. I replied back by saying, "I took a chance even if she thinks otherwise. She'll always be welcomed as a friend. My last message for now & may peace be with you as always =)."

I liked her more than as a friend but I decided to tell her again after about a couple of months ago she rejected me. Did I go too far that I risked the friendship between her & I? Should I just give up on a girl I like after the first rejection? I'll just end up ruining the friendship. I know I'm not perfect in controlling my emotions around a gal I like. However, I want to improve & learn.

Thank you for any help and suggestions you can provide me.

P.S. This is not the first time I've risked a friendship on girls I like. I want to stop ruining those friendships. I feel very sad right now : ashamed. I've decided to include the motto, ‎"speak less and listen more" into my New Year's Resolutions for 2013.

Dec 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said: Hello, I'm not sure if there is a related topic on how to deal with rejections. I don&...
(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said:

Hello,

I'm not sure if there is a related topic on how to deal with rejections. I don't know much about rejections only on how I've dealt with different type of rejections and only what I've heard and read. I do have one specific part I want to deal with at this moment which is finding ways to comfort myself after a rejection. A [former ] female "friend" said it to me through a text message today that it might be better for both of us to move on & she said goodbye. It was a longer message but that's the main point of the message. I replied back by saying, "I took a chance even if she thinks otherwise. She'll always be welcomed as a friend. My last message for now & may peace be with you as always =)."

I liked her more than as a friend but I decided to tell her again after about a couple of months ago she rejected me. Did I go too far that I risked the friendship between her & I? Should I just give up on a girl I like after the first rejection? I'll just end up ruining the friendship. I know I'm not perfect in controlling my emotions around a gal I like. However, I want to improve & learn.

Thank you for any help and suggestions you can provide me.

P.S. This is not the first time I've risked a friendship on girls I like. I want to stop ruining those friendships. I feel very sad right now : . I've decided to include the motto, ‎"speak less and listen more" into my New Year's Resolutions for 2013.

--hide--

Responding with bitterness does not get us anywhere in life and tends to ultimately isolate us. Not responding with bitterness and responding with love can still keep doors open even if just for friendship. It is always better to recognize the great worth of the other and keep them in high esteem and THEN communicate that theheart! It is worth it to try to rebuild as just a friend. I think it is always worth it to try to make a friend and I think we as Catholic Singles need to always keep this in mind. There is great value in friendships! This goes for people who are any age or any state in life. This is important to us here. Rejection will always come our way if we continually open our heart---- in one form or another but freindship can sometimes be a choice we have....if the other party is able to do so.


It is NOT a bad thing to continue to open our heart. You have many years. Open your heart and keep trying!

Dec 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said: Hello, I'm not sure if there is a related topic on how to deal with rejections. I don&...
(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said:

Hello,

I'm not sure if there is a related topic on how to deal with rejections. I don't know much about rejections only on how I've dealt with different type of rejections and only what I've heard and read. I do have one specific part I want to deal with at this moment which is finding ways to comfort myself after a rejection. A [former ] female "friend" said it to me through a text message today that it might be better for both of us to move on & she said goodbye. It was a longer message but that's the main point of the message. I replied back by saying, "I took a chance even if she thinks otherwise. She'll always be welcomed as a friend. My last message for now & may peace be with you as always =)."

I liked her more than as a friend but I decided to tell her again after about a couple of months ago she rejected me. Did I go too far that I risked the friendship between her & I? Should I just give up on a girl I like after the first rejection? I'll just end up ruining the friendship. I know I'm not perfect in controlling my emotions around a gal I like. However, I want to improve & learn.

Thank you for any help and suggestions you can provide me.

P.S. This is not the first time I've risked a friendship on girls I like. I want to stop ruining those friendships. I feel very sad right now : . I've decided to include the motto, ‎"speak less and listen more" into my New Year's Resolutions for 2013.

--hide--


Ezrah, sorry to hear that the relationship did not evolve as you hoped, and you possibly have lost a friend. Rejection hurts, that is our reality. Prayer will bring you peace. Company of family and friends will help you on your voyage through these emotions. You are not alone. Do not isolate yourself. Pray and rejoice in the miracle of the Nativity.

Dec 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said: Hello, I'm not sure if there is a related topic on how to deal with rejections. I don&...
(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said:

Hello,

I'm not sure if there is a related topic on how to deal with rejections. I don't know much about rejections only on how I've dealt with different type of rejections and only what I've heard and read. I do have one specific part I want to deal with at this moment which is finding ways to comfort myself after a rejection. A [former ] female "friend" said it to me through a text message today that it might be better for both of us to move on & she said goodbye. It was a longer message but that's the main point of the message. I replied back by saying, "I took a chance even if she thinks otherwise. She'll always be welcomed as a friend. My last message for now & may peace be with you as always =)."

I liked her more than as a friend but I decided to tell her again after about a couple of months ago she rejected me. Did I go too far that I risked the friendship between her & I? Should I just give up on a girl I like after the first rejection? I'll just end up ruining the friendship. I know I'm not perfect in controlling my emotions around a gal I like. However, I want to improve & learn.

Thank you for any help and suggestions you can provide me.

P.S. This is not the first time I've risked a friendship on girls I like. I want to stop ruining those friendships. I feel very sad right now : . I've decided to include the motto, ‎"speak less and listen more" into my New Year's Resolutions for 2013.

--hide--

Praying Hi Ezra.. It is good to be honest and open.. but sometimes like you said it is best to speak less and listen more .. Also just our actions can speak volumes.. Instead of focusing on how you feel, Do something that may have an impact. I am sorry this lady did not accept your friendship. We are all the body of Christ and should be accepting of each other and to pray for each other even if we are not a match. You did the good thing by telling her May Peace be with you always. That's what Jesus would want . Be comforted knowing that Jesus is pleased with you and Loves you.

You are so young. Keep making friends and spreading joy , peace and the Love of Christ.

Peace and Prayers.. We all need them... Praying rosary theheart hug Kathleen

Dec 28th 2012 new

Let me tell you what I do. I would not have this ability to act when I was ten years younger.

It is a risk to ask a friend for a romantic relationship. I have retained a friend after a rejection....

however I did the following after the rejection:

I prayed. I did not seek her attention unless she knew of the reason...like no sudden changes in plans such as a group camping trip the next week that you spent two months preparing and she was going too. But if the group you two are participates goes to the movies, then I would avoid it. Let her become comfortable to her regular social settings without you at first. If she invites you to a tea party with many shared friends, then do go but keep an obvious distance from her in terms of conservation - act like you are 40 years older. She is taking a chance to reform your friendship, but albeit a lesser friendship-give her that chance even it will hurt you...better for you than her. Start praying for her happiness. Prepare yourself to be happy to meet her new boyfriend the next time you see her. Do not ask about her romantic life whatsoever - if she brings it up, keep it short and shallow. Unless you asked her out in a text message or email, then her rejection's tone and transmission by text message to me = stay away from me or I will hurt you. If you cannot avoid her such as you both are part of the same club, then start praising other single men to her in way to let you know you are over her....introduce another single man to her and mentioned something about him that will attract him to her. The sooner she is dating and one of your competion is too, then so much the better :)

Let her go. Be happy you are now free of her.

God bless.

Dec 28th 2012 new
Ezra,

I always tell my students that there are a lot of fishes in the sea. It is her lost. You seen like a nice, sweet and handsome young man. God will place the right woman for you in your life. In the meantime, have fun with family and friends. Do the things you enjoy doing.
Dec 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said: Hello, I'm not sure if there is a related topic on how to deal with rejections. I don&...
(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said:

Hello,

I'm not sure if there is a related topic on how to deal with rejections. I don't know much about rejections only on how I've dealt with different type of rejections and only what I've heard and read. I do have one specific part I want to deal with at this moment which is finding ways to comfort myself after a rejection. A [former ] female "friend" said it to me through a text message today that it might be better for both of us to move on & she said goodbye. It was a longer message but that's the main point of the message. I replied back by saying, "I took a chance even if she thinks otherwise. She'll always be welcomed as a friend. My last message for now & may peace be with you as always =)."

I liked her more than as a friend but I decided to tell her again after about a couple of months ago she rejected me. Did I go too far that I risked the friendship between her & I? Should I just give up on a girl I like after the first rejection? I'll just end up ruining the friendship. I know I'm not perfect in controlling my emotions around a gal I like. However, I want to improve & learn.

Thank you for any help and suggestions you can provide me.

P.S. This is not the first time I've risked a friendship on girls I like. I want to stop ruining those friendships. I feel very sad right now : . I've decided to include the motto, ‎"speak less and listen more" into my New Year's Resolutions for 2013.

--hide--


May God bless you with your future wife in 2013!

Dec 29th 2012 new

Thank you Marian and to all the beautiful comments. I feel the comfort in the words all you have said to my post. You're right I rather not feel bitter about this situation because it doesn't do me good.

Dec 29th 2012 new

(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said: Thank you Marian and to all the beautiful comments. I feel the comfort in the words all you have ...
(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said:

Thank you Marian and to all the beautiful comments. I feel the comfort in the words all you have said to my post. You're right I rather not feel bitter about this situation because it doesn't do me good.

--hide--


Thanks Ezrah! May God Bless You Fully in 2013! ornament

Dec 29th 2012 new

(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said: Thank you Marian and to all the beautiful comments. I feel the comfort in the words all you have ...
(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said:

Thank you Marian and to all the beautiful comments. I feel the comfort in the words all you have said to my post. You're right I rather not feel bitter about this situation because it doesn't do me good.

--hide--
Just a couple of things, Ezrah: Try not to personalize it, unless they say something cruel. Most Christians won't want to hurt you. Just accept what they say at face value. They may have an issue of their own they are trying to work out. We are each unique and special. I don't think it would hurt to be honest and say you felt more strongly for her, but thank her for her honesty. Next, don't call her too often. I had a guy calling me several times a day! He was too needy and it showed. Check in with her every couple of weeks just to see if things have changed and if she would like to meet somewhere, but don't be pushy. "Not now" means no. Perhaps over time her feelings or even yours may change. She may see the gift that you are, or you may meet someone that better suits you. Keep your mind and heart open and forgiving: remember 70 x 7!

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