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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

12/30/2012 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: going to the bar also stifles your personal economy . karaoke can be played on Xbox or Wii . it d...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

going to the bar also stifles your personal economy . karaoke can be played on Xbox or Wii . it doesn't stimulate the economy if you go just a few times (broken window fallacy)

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Stifles your personal economy? eyebrow

XBox or Wii instead of stopping at a local watering hole?? It is a great assumption that one would have an XBox or Wii (neither I nor any of my friends have one) and it also assumes one has a TV (I and others do not by choice). Not having these things at home saves money and frees up time to be with friends at other places.

Probably safer and more convenient to meet friends in a public place for time together than in one's home.

Doesn't cost much if you go during happy hour and nurse a single beverage.

Personally, if a person spends a good amount of time in bars drinking, I would rather know that up front rather than finding out after a couple of dates. The profile photos tell a story about a person - I would rather it be honest than artificial.

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12/30/2012 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: I do not discount or judge them but if their whole profile is good I'll talk but actions my f...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

I do not discount or judge them but if their whole profile is good I'll talk but actions my friend speak louder and when I've gotten to know them it's close to 100% no Bruno . they need prayers n I will pray for them but it's ALL about 1st impressions



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First impressions are important - do a degree. Realize that the "impression" is an inference, i.e. it is YOURS; and that is largely determined by what is in YOUR heart and mind. Purity and chastity come from our hearts, they are not an intrinsic quality of the human being. We are made in God's own image. It was Satan who put the ideas of shame and prurience into our existance.

I work in theater as a tech; I sometimes have to enter the "Green Room" (dressing room areas) to deal with a problem. I have yet to be inclined to 'objection' or un-chaste thought because of what I may have seen; and that is because I enter with an open mind, a Christian heart, and with respect and appreciation for the talents, quality, skills, and Yes, even the purity of our actors.

We are Catholics! Not Protestants, Mormons, Muslims or whatever else has twisted Creation into Prurience while prosecuting terrorism in the world whether in the form of judgementalism, bombing, cut-throat business practice or whatever. WE are called to the fullest recognition of and respect for God's creation and all that naturally derives therefrom.

If you 'see' something you don't like - move on; it is clearly not "for" you.

Dear friend, you are actually young, yet (Ha! And So Am I!). Pray and study a while longer, live as an example, Evangelize through your example, and you will have a considerably more positive effect - not to mention meet that one God intends for you sooner.

Happy Birthday, Happy New Year, and God Bless.

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12/30/2012 new

Happy Birthday, Brian!


Your concerns about modesty are legitimate, so thanks for bringing up the elephant in the room. For years into my conversion, I couldn't for the life of me understand why some Christian women dressed so scantily. There was absolutely no judgement in my desire to understand it; I was simply confounded. Within minutes of my conversion I felt compelled to dress modestly, but gradually I've learned that conversions come in many different shapes, speeds, and sizes, and God reveals His Truths when we are ready to embody them. Cliche, but true, we are all works in progress. Having said that, what a disappointment it was for me to step back into church after 28 years and see what I saw. I naively thought people were going to be expressing the greatest reverence toward God, in their actions and appearance. See EWTN's Father Dominic Mary's homily on Youtube: Dressing Modestly (especially at Mass). Coming from a priest, it's a mind-blower.


Sadly, our young men and women aren't learning about the beauty and necessity of modesty, but it needs to be addressed on so many levels, and any one of the members of the Body of Christ has a right, indeed a responsibility to discuss this charitably. First, purity in all its forms (including modesty) is demanded of us by Christ. Practicing modesty is an expression of charity toward others. There are males out there who ARE trying to order their thoughts according to God's will, and we women must honor and facilitate that. Men owe us the same courtesy as well. If my very presence encourages a man to lust after me, I have sinned against him and against God. And you're right, dressing in full Ninja wear is ridiculous-one needn't dress like a school marm to please the Lord.

I think there's widespread ignorance as to the full meaning of modesty, and that's partly a result of an individual failing to realize her dignity and identity in and through Christ. Jesus wants modesty for us because it's GOOD for us. He doesn't want us to reveal the sacred aspects of our physical bodies to anyone who doesn't have a legitimate right to our bodies. For lack of a better analogy, I've taught teens that you can shop sidewalk sales at Walmart, but you'll never see Neiman Marcus having one. Why? Because Neiman Marcus knows it doesn't have to display its goods outside to get your attention. I think it was Muhammad Ali who taught his daughter that some of the most precious elements are hidden and aren't extracted easily: gold, diamonds, and pearls. Precious, beautiful, rare-that's what we are. Unfortunately, we bely that truth when we reveal ourselves to those whom have no legitimate right to behold us. With self-love and true knowledge of our worth comes a refusal to reveal what is sacred to anyone but our spouse. That's wisdom, not prudishness.


As Matthew Kelly writes in Rediscovering Catholicism, we Catholics have a NEED to be part of something authentic, something REAL, something totally acultural. We want to enter the sanctuary of our churches and other Catholic institutions and experience something so radically different than what's "out there." This is the place we make face-to-face contact with the King of Kings. We love Him so much we know He deserves the greatest reverence. It can actually cause physical pain when we see the lack of respect given Him. Our frustration over the lack of modesty and the fact that it's rarely addressed isn't about judging others; it's about every soul's deep aching for the sacred, pure, and beautiful. You might have been a bit harsh in your post, but it was honest. You were letting the women out there know that their profiles are all about first impressions. To attract the opposite sex we need to distill down our best attributes in a very small space. I think you were simply trying to say that the written word and photos can be SO EASILY misinterpreted. It's common sense to conclude, (even if it's incorrect) that bar room photos could easily be MISinterpreted because most of us assume we're displaying what's MOST important to us, in other words, this is what I want others to know about me at first glance. Of course, anyone with a brain knows that there's nothing inherently wrong with bars, and they CAN be great places to eat, socialize and unwind with friends.


Best of luck,


Laurie

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12/30/2012 new

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Brian!

From an early age we are subjected to what society views as attractive; stereotypes for gender biases must be broken by choice. I am not comfortable with brazen and immoral behavior, but alot of people are. They don't care enough about their own value and its really sick. Some of the blame is genetic programming to attract the best mate possible.

I really have to ask myself sometimes why I go against the grain. Of course its because I can't be anyone else but me; however, I question how some of the people I see get dates and even end up married. Then I wonder if I am just unfit for Human Consumption and when I say Human Consumption I mean - from the perspective that everything we experience day to day with all of our senses; we are literally taking it all in.

When I was growing up my dad prepared me to be who I am today. As a woman he said I would always have a particular disadvantage, but I have figured out how to make it a strength. He said that the majority of men I meet will only want one thing from me; including men that claim to be religious. I would have to learn patterns of behavior so I can develop the proper filters and don't end up married to the wrong man for the rest of my life.

Having said that, why on earth would I want to draw negative attention by putting up pictures I wouldn't post on Facebook? It is insulting to God not to have any self respect for who he created me to be.

Those poor women obviously did not have any coaching on how to be a Lady anyway so they are not for you. You just need to keep looking, you will find her. A woman who values herself, shares your convictions and is madly in Love with two men: You, and Jesus.

When I was in sales, I developed a system and was very successful over the phone as well as in person. It has to do with relating to people. I counted for six months one time; how many times do I have to hear NO - before I hear YES? Its between 10 and 15 times and on rare occasion, more-much more. The key is not to quit.

So my ratio of NO to YES while proven in sales; has failed me in Love. Somewhere out there is a man of God for me...most likely.

...but it is always the LORD...who holds the biggest part of my heart and soul

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12/30/2012 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said: It's much more trouble to find styles that are modest, and even if they are "better," we st...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: It's much more trouble to find styles that are modest, and even if they are "better," we still need to add to it (how many tanks and cami's do I have????). It's so much work!
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Yep. I have become pretty good at modifying clothing. It's rare that I buy something attractive and can wear it as is.



"But men, when you see a woman dressed modestly, please compliment her! :) We need all the encouragement we can get!"


Hear, hear! clap

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12/30/2012 new
(Quote) Laura-896845 said: Yep. I have become pretty good at modifying clothing. It's rare that I buy something attractive and...
(Quote) Laura-896845 said:

Yep. I have become pretty good at modifying clothing. It's rare that I buy something attractive and can wear it as is.



"But men, when you see a woman dressed modestly, please compliment her! :) We need all the encouragement we can get!"


Hear, hear!

--hide--
Amen, again!!!!
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12/30/2012 new

(Quote) Laura-896845 said: Yep. I have become pretty good at modifying clothing. It's rare that I buy something...
(Quote) Laura-896845 said:

Yep. I have become pretty good at modifying clothing. It's rare that I buy something attractive and can wear it as is.



"But men, when you see a woman dressed modestly, please compliment her! :) We need all the encouragement we can get!"


Hear, hear!

--hide--


While getting ready for Mass this evening, I was about to be frustrated with a new cute top from the Limited, then I thought about this thread and just laughed while I made it "work"!

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12/30/2012 new

(Quote) Laura-896845 said: Yep. I have become pretty good at modifying clothing. It's rare that I buy something...
(Quote) Laura-896845 said:

Yep. I have become pretty good at modifying clothing. It's rare that I buy something attractive and can wear it as is.



"But men, when you see a woman dressed modestly, please compliment her! :) We need all the encouragement we can get!"


Hear, hear!

--hide--


been there done that, got told never to tell her how she looked or smells ever again. ( she wore a nice scent from,.. somewhere, and she smelled nice). ahhh yes,.. the life of the elephant man..

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12/31/2012 new

The biggest problem i have, is the website doesnt work????? Day 3 i cant send any messages or anything???? Everything is constantly frozen.............

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12/31/2012 new

i guess i just have to keep bloooooging

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