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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

12/30/2012 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: Thanks Shara! You are a beautiful young lady!
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

Thanks Shara! You are a beautiful young lady!

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AWWWW Michelle. From a gorgeous Catholic woman like yoursef that is indeed high praise.

12/30/2012 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: How do we help men overcome that fear. Do we put in our profile that the children's father is...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

How do we help men overcome that fear. Do we put in our profile that the children's father isn't involved? That just seems awkward and over-reaching to me.

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How do we help men overcome that fear. Do we put in our profile that the children's father isn't involved?

Just be yourself. As he gets to know you, if you let him know either directly or indirectly that you kids and hubby will both be high priorities, he will overcome that fear or try hard to. If the kids' father isn't involved, that's a bonus (not that ex-hubby's involvement is necessarily a bad thing, mind you); if the father is involved, as well as you work with him to set boundaries, etc, it's all good. If he's not willing to date you at all just because you have kids, he's probably not worth your time, anyway.



12/30/2012 new

Spoken like a champ Kwaku. Thanks for the feedback

12/30/2012 new

(Quote) Clair-6292 said: I have to flip the question. I've seen profiles of women who absolutely refuse to get involved...
(Quote) Clair-6292 said:

I have to flip the question. I've seen profiles of women who absolutely refuse to get involved with a guy who has children. No matter divorced with annulment or widower, WHY?

Such a relationship is more difficult, but the children should not receive the punishment. God gives us the tools to handle the situation
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I don't know if I can speak for the women who don't want to date men with children...I personally don't have any experience in this area yet but I wouldn't have a problem with it. It could be possible they don't want to have children at all or maybe they don't want to have to deal with the ex-wife.

12/30/2012 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I actually think that Catholic guys have it much easier than Catholic women. My...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I actually think that Catholic guys have it much easier than Catholic women. My marriage has been annulled for over 4 years ( closer to 5) and I have only just decided to start dating. However, over the years I have been hit on frequently but NEVER by a good Catholic guy. The secular guys just seem to be more plentiful. Even had moms who introduce me to their sons for purposes of friendship and they are not living out their faith or even trying. I personally think that finding a good man who is trying to live out his faith is like finding the Holy Grail and worth its weight in gold. All the good guys my age or older seem to be married or in the seminary.

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I can relate.Good Catholics are hard to find!

12/30/2012 new

Indeed they are. I am actually very glad Fr. Marty pushed me to join this website. He was right all along and I can't wait to tell him. Looks like i am turning into a night owl. Need to get up for work in the morning. YAWN

12/30/2012 new

(Quote) Clair-6292 said: I have to flip the question. I've seen profiles of women who absolutely refuse to get involved...
(Quote) Clair-6292 said:

I have to flip the question. I've seen profiles of women who absolutely refuse to get involved with a guy who has children. No matter divorced with annulment or widower, WHY?

Such a relationship is more difficult, but the children should not receive the punishment. God gives us the tools to handle the situation
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I have no problem with a man having children - the one thing I do require though is that he has a good positive relationship with them or this won't work for me. I believe fathers need to be present in their childrens lives and help raise them - the children end up in a much better place if he takes his role as a father seriously. Deadbeat dads or dads who distance themselves from their children is a huge turn off for me - this is not how God wants fathers to be - a dad who steps up to the plate for his children is a winner in my eyes. Love and hug hug 's to all single dads out there doing the best they know how. Praying

12/30/2012 new

If it's someone around my age and that person chose life from a misguided choice, although I wouldn't want to label any child a misguided choice, then I don't think there is a problem as long as the person is now embracing the teachings of the Catholic faith. Plus, its always a lot of fun taking kids places that they never have been. They are really appreciative.

12/30/2012 new
Michelle, It all depends on the situation... every guy is different. And age has a major impact on the way a man views children of a single mother suitor. I'm guessing that most men in their 20s and 30s probably want to have a fresh start with a woman who has no children or maybe one child might be considered okay. Many men have cold feet because it is often difficult to discipline a child that is not your own. I think that a good number of men, including myself, think that it its okay if you have a child prior to entering a new relationship, as long as you are a "sweetheart" that can be taken home to mom. I must also note that there is a stereotype out there dealing with promiscuity and children, but if you meet a man on a Catholic dating site, that probably won't be an issue. Maybe subliminally also, a man sees that if a single woman has a child, she may have somehow "failed" the earlier relationship (and hence may bring baggage into the new relationship), even though instead it may have been the man in the relationship that was abusive, neglectful, or even deadbeat. In spite of all these possiblities of how a man may view your having a child and being single, know that if a man is meant to be with you, then irrespective of how many children you have, it will happen and you will naturally be drawn to each other. Don't lose faith. I have come to believe that you have someone that is meant for you, so keep up the search. He is probably feeling the same way since he hasn't met you yet!
12/30/2012 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: How do we help men overcome that fear. Do we put in our profile that the children's father is...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

How do we help men overcome that fear. Do we put in our profile that the children's father isn't involved? That just seems awkward and over-reaching to me.

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you can't,. at some point in time the ex will eventually find out. Then we'll just be going around with a big ol target on our backs!

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