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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 31st 2012 new

Just no. No way no how. It is a waste of your time.

A Catholic man can date a non Catholic woman and try to shepherd her into the Truth of the faith, and have her convert.

A Catholic woman, if she tries to do the same with a non-catholic man, sets herself up for heartache and for being the "leader" concerning religion, which is not how God intends it to be. Sure, you do a work of mercy helping some guy convert, but it will not provide for the proper dynamic of husband as the "high priest" of the domestic church (the family)--its reversed (the wife knows a great deal more about the faith, has all the Catholic experience, so she is in the misassigned role as the "high priest" of the family, and that is not going to work out too well....)

So No.

The biggest waste of my life was dating a protestant guy for 6 years who was not only not that religious, a terrible influence on me, but hte most insidiously anti-Catholic person I have had in my inner circle ever. So don't do it is all I can say.

Dec 31st 2012 new

(Quote) Celia-821539 said: Alright, I'm just going to shove this thought on out there and see what ya'll have to say...
(Quote) Celia-821539 said:

Alright, I'm just going to shove this thought on out there and see what ya'll have to say. Every so often, I get a wild hair and think, hey,there are folks in other denominations who are truly good Christians, someone of whom even live where I am moving to in July...

Attractive, hard working, really salt of the earth guys. I have met a few.


But, every last time, when the topic turns to religion, I find that I feel almost like they are speaking a different language. I wasn't thinking as I was talking to this one guy who is Baptist - great person - and said something like, "I think all denominations have something to bring to the table. The Baptist, for sure, got the basic memo.".....


I meant that in the nicest of ways. It was not meant to be snarky - I was saying that Baptists often have great kids' programs, and they do get the basic message of Christ across. But, the truth is, I feel like Catholics seem to have gotten the "bulk of the file". There is so much information missing in other denominations - Mary, for one, the Saints, what about the rosary, what about Perpetual Adoration... and,there was no simple prayer and poof I was "saved" like Puff the Magic Dragon....It does not work, trust me. I was married to a Southern Baptist and their views on Catholic religion is awful! My ex always put my religion down and said negative things about it and we had children baptized Catholic! The Catholic religion has been around way longer than most of these religions and I refuse to date another Baptist or other denomination, only practicing Catholic. Just hang in there and you will fine a good Catholic man. What about the church you attend? There are some singles I am sure!



So, I think to myself, maybe this one or that one, since finding ONE good Catholic guy anywhere near me seems to not be happening...Would anyone date non-Catholics, or is it like I am finding over and over- you just speak a different language? The other thing is, how would I ever be able to respect someone who I don't think is entirely qualified to take on a role of spiritual leadership? So, then I am stuck with an almost non-existent pool of Catholic guys, and that isn't good either. Then narrow that down to looking for a 7/7, and the dating pool got even smaller. Yarfles. That is my word for when I am frustrated. YARFLES!!!!!

--hide--

Dec 31st 2012 new

(Quote) Lois-765906 said: Having just returned from visiting my Missouri Synod Lutheran family (and having to hear that the ...
(Quote) Lois-765906 said:

Having just returned from visiting my Missouri Synod Lutheran family (and having to hear that the Lutheran Book of Concord teaches that Catholics are damned to hell) there is no way I would allow myself to date anyone who was not Catholic. Have I been tempted to want to date a non-denominational guy in the past? Absolutely! But, after hearing my poor mother scream at me that Catholics are not welcome in her house (meaning me and my daughter) it would be too dear of a price to pay for me to do. By the way, my mother also said she had a great Lutheran guy lined up for me to date - but since I was Catholic, there is no way HE would be interested in ME. How is that for a different perspective! Just my two cents worth ... Happy New Year!

--hide--

Ah, Missouri Synod. In Cleveland in 1969, I met a devout Missouri Synod woman, and wanted to pursue her because she was a good woman. We never began the relationship. She told me she liked me, but would not permit a serious relationship w/ a Catholic..talk about the emotional tears I cried. Now I'm rememberng the times we'd meet at Cleveland-area dances, and almost crying again..

Would I pursue a good, non-Catholic woman? Most definitely. It's almost a requirement in sparsely-Catholic Central KY. There were 3 women I dated long enough who would have probably married me...Catholic, Southern Baptist, and United Methodist - all three good, highly moral women.

Dec 31st 2012 new

(Quote) Celia-821539 said: Alright, I'm just going to shove this thought on out there and see what ya'll have to say...
(Quote) Celia-821539 said:

Alright, I'm just going to shove this thought on out there and see what ya'll have to say. Every so often, I get a wild hair and think, hey,there are folks in other denominations who are truly good Christians, someone of whom even live where I am moving to in July...

Attractive, hard working, really salt of the earth guys. I have met a few.


But, every last time, when the topic turns to religion, I find that I feel almost like they are speaking a different language. I wasn't thinking as I was talking to this one guy who is Baptist - great person - and said something like, "I think all denominations have something to bring to the table. The Baptist, for sure, got the basic memo.".....


I meant that in the nicest of ways. It was not meant to be snarky - I was saying that Baptists often have great kids' programs, and they do get the basic message of Christ across. But, the truth is, I feel like Catholics seem to have gotten the "bulk of the file". There is so much information missing in other denominations - Mary, for one, the Saints, what about the rosary, what about Perpetual Adoration... and,there was no simple prayer and poof I was "saved" like Puff the Magic Dragon....


So, I think to myself, maybe this one or that one, since finding ONE good Catholic guy anywhere near me seems to not be happening...Would anyone date non-Catholics, or is it like I am finding over and over- you just speak a different language? The other thing is, how would I ever be able to respect someone who I don't think is entirely qualified to take on a role of spiritual leadership? So, then I am stuck with an almost non-existent pool of Catholic guys, and that isn't good either. Then narrow that down to looking for a 7/7, and the dating pool got even smaller. Yarfles. That is my word for when I am frustrated. YARFLES!!!!!

--hide--
Well, Celia -- you'll get differing opinions on this -- that's the only certain thing about your question.

It's typically the preference of CM members to seek out one of their own Faith. It can save some heartache, and frustrations in the end. However, we might set out to find a good Catholic mate, but in the process come upon a person of another faith who has all the qualities we seek.

I don't think we can toss out a blanket statement that dating non-Catholics is not a good idea. It can and it has worked out well for many. What's important are values -- respect for life, permanency of marriage, respect for each other's faith. Our Faith is a gift -- one which not everyone receives. It's hard for a non-Catholic to shake off years of believing in another faith when born in it, and practiced it just as generations before that person had been doing.

A key element is having the proper respect for others' beliefs. No serious ridiculing, mocking or intolerance can be allowed if a relationship/marriage is to flourish. Being of different faiths can often results in problems raising children, and sharing in worship services, but these obstacles can be overcome.

We believe the Catholic Faith offers the full means of attaining salvation; we also trace our roots back to Jesus, who established His Church. Catholic doctrines haven't changed in 2000 years and won't in the future. In other words, we have the Truth. There are certain aspects of our Faith that can be subject to opinions, but the essentials are unwavering. This typically doesn't take place in other faith groups. We see gay people having a "marriage" ceremony in some churches; differences in the belief about Communion where it exists in other churches, and so on.

There is an opportunity to educate a non-Catholic person so that there is a basic understanding. The same should be done by the Catholic. A Catholic can't put pressure on another person to convert. The conversion, if there is one, has to come from within -- that person needs to receive the gift of Faith. Without that gift, is the person unworthy? Not at all. We shouldn't approach this with an air of superiority, looking down at others' faiths because they differ from ours. (No, I'm not including off-beat or satanic worshippers.)

As a personal example, my wife was a lifelong Lutheran, and remained so well into our marriage. About 12 years later, she decided to become a Catholic -- an exemplary one at that. This doesn't always happen, and one can't live in expectation that it will. Different faiths can present at least some minor problems, and the Catholic is obligated to remain true to his/her beliefs. But it's also another chance to grow in ecumenical spirit. If one enters a Lutheran church, for example, you'll see that physically, no one can tell the difference between them and Catholics.

For a person who is very strong in the Catholic Faith, problems and challenges can be minimized. Certain denominations have a dour attitude toward Catholics, and that can be a problem for them. Oftentimes though, they are surprised to find out that what they've been taught is NOT correct. Some are stubborn to admit it -- that type of person can be a problem.

Be cautious; be faithful; be open.

Dec 31st 2012 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

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Hi, Michelle -- We're anxious to hear what you have to say....

Dec 31st 2012 new

It is hard to have a mixed faith relationship...I for one was married to a Southern Baptist for 12 yrs. He put my faith down all the time even though we baptized our children Catholic. Our Catholic religion has been around longer than most of the other religions and we are mocked more than any other faith from what I have observed in the past. Just hang in there and you will find a good Catholic man who understands your values better than another denomination guy.

Dec 31st 2012 new
Hi Celia, Since I already find it challenging to pursue a relationship with people on this site who disagree with any of the 7/7 Church Teachings, I would find it really challenging to pursue a relationship with a non-Catholic. Hang in there.

I identify with Pat-5351's reply.

About this:

(Quote) Celia-821539 said: .. I feel like Catholics seem to have gotten the bulk of the file
(Quote) Celia-821539 said: .. I feel like Catholics seem to have gotten the bulk of the file
--hide--


The fullness of Truth resides in the Catholic Church, so I would go one step further and say Catholics have gotten the whole file, not just the bulk of it. God Bless.
Dec 31st 2012 new
I was engaged to a non-Catholic & he & his children always went to Mass with me.I have no

problem dating or marrying a non-Catholic .As long as he is a good man .
Dec 31st 2012 new

I agree, if you are giving it some thought maybe God is calling you to a specific person for a reason. After all, not all people we meet are potential mates, some are placed in our lives for mutually beneficial reasons :)

Dec 31st 2012 new

wide eyed

I agree with you Pat because I had a similar situation. Even though he came to me and asked ME what he needs to do to become Catholic; in the end, all it did was create animosity for him. I figure the Lord wanted me to do this; so I did bring a non believer fresh perspectives on God, Religion and what every person has: their own spiritual journey.

Unfortunately he walked away from both of us saying "I changed him." And looking back, darn tootin' I did...unknowingly at the time, I introduced him to God for the first time in his life.

A valuable lesson in the "Be careful what you ask for" class.

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