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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Eileen-890971 said: Dear John, Awake at this early hour again! Banana muffins with cream cheese frosting wit...
(Quote) Eileen-890971 said:

Dear John,

Awake at this early hour again! Banana muffins with cream cheese frosting with mini chocolate chips is what is cooking. I had too many
bananas and didn't want to wait an hour for banana bread hense the muffin recipe which came out extraordinarily good. Always surprised
when a new recipe is one I want to keep.

Yes, that is the book in reference and actually I think I read two or three versions of the same book. It was enlightening, his vision and division of types and needs in that book and where I thought I fit. In the end, I remember feeling that I fit in two places.

Your reference to smiles made me smile! Recently, I made it a point to smile at strangers that I thought needed that little attention. What I found was that most people would smile back, some would nod their head but I could see the smile started in their eyes and moved to their lips because it was unexpected. And that made me happy. I am seeing that you connected smile, voice tone and body language and I find that interesting. I do observe my little sister sometimes and she likes to flirt. She uses all that visual to get a response. I have never really been a good flirt as I believe she inherited all the flirt genes in the family. I was definitely behind the door as my mother would like to say when she referred to someone's looks or manners. I am not so sure about your analogy about psychological growth and social growth so much as personal growth. I think when I relax and let life unfold without trying to control it is when I feel the best as you refer to the subconscious mind. All this thinking is giving me a headache! Not really but you do make me analyze myself and people around me. As a matter of fact, something you said to me in a previous letter came forefront in my mind today. It is amazing how that works sometimes, how your brain catalogs info and processes it.

I am sorry to hear that your cupboard is bare, Father Hubbard. I have a hundred cookbooks and alot of staple ingredients. That is the secret to being a good cook....to have ingredients on hand. Whatcha feel like?

Eileen

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Dear Eileen,

Banana muffins with cream cheese frosting with mini chocolate chips sounds pretty tasty. smile

I think that when I write "psychological growth" or "social growth" I probably am thinking about the same thing you do when you write "personal growth". We're both talking about something internal and not physical strength, intellectual growth of financial increase.

In reply to your words, "I think when I relax and let life unfold without trying to control it is when I feel the best as you refer to the subconscious mind", I think that you can "let go" best when you have reached a certain level of psychological growth and social growth because your inner resources make you less concerned about external things including how you appear to external people.

Sorry if some of the things I write make your head hurt. Glad that some of the things I write catch your interest.

What do I feel like? Maybe an omelet. cool

John

Dec 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Dear Eileen, Banana muffins with cream cheese frosting with mini chocolate chips sounds pre...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Dear Eileen,

Banana muffins with cream cheese frosting with mini chocolate chips sounds pretty tasty.

I think that when I write "psychological growth" or "social growth" I probably am thinking about the same thing you do when you write "personal growth". We're both talking about something internal and not physical strength, intellectual growth of financial increase.

In reply to your words, "I think when I relax and let life unfold without trying to control it is when I feel the best as you refer to the subconscious mind", I think that you can "let go" best when you have reached a certain level of psychological growth and social growth because your inner resources make you less concerned about external things including how you appear to external people.

Sorry if some of the things I write make your head hurt. Glad that some of the things I write catch your interest.

What do I feel like? Maybe an omelet.

John

--hide--
Dear John,

What if you don't understand the underlying meaning of the arguement? What if the subject on the table has nothing to do
with the real problem? Why is it so hard to ask the question you want answered unless it is so hurtful to the other person.
My example would be personal and an experience between my oldest child and me but the overall result was that he felt
a betrayal of my protection. We talked it out and it was painful for both of us. It ended up not to be a betrayal but a lesson on
how secrets can turn into emotional blackmail. It was what I then called the Boys Club and I wasn't a member. How a parent
can use guilt to force his children to keep or maintain secrets is so wrong on many levels. This is about longevity of
relationships but not necessarily confined to male/female I hope. As a result, the relationship between father and son
has suffered dearly. As a note, time had repeated itself back a generation. Can we disrupt this tendency?

Just sharing, Dr. Phil...I mean John in the hopes that I am not the only one out there with disfunctional family members.

On a lighter note, mmmmm an omelet sounds yummy. I actually like a western omelet with ham and some cheese only, no
thyme for spices and just enjoy the melding of flavors. I am off to the kitchen.

Thanks for the therapy time but next time I would like a more comfortable chair.

Eileen

Jan 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Marirose-887295 said: I agree. Emotions are not bad, it is what you do with them that can be constructive or destruc...
(Quote) Marirose-887295 said:

I agree. Emotions are not bad, it is what you do with them that can be constructive or destructive.

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But the question is more about the absense of emotion, more specifically whether the decision not to express any unpleasant emotions is helpful, harmful or neutral in maintaining (and I should add, deepening) a relationship.

Jan 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Elaine-525333 said: There is nothing wrong with expressing emotions. A person should be able to express themselves. ...
(Quote) Elaine-525333 said:

There is nothing wrong with expressing emotions. A person should be able to express themselves. Its just how you handle yourself in the situation.

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In saying that there is "nothing wrong" with emotion, you could be saying either that it is helpful or that it is just neutral (neither beneficial or harmful). Which is it?

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