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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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I like a lot of the guys I see on here, in my age range and locale, but if I send an emotigram, or a message, and you can't even send a smile back, and just ignore me, it's the biggest turn off, and just rude, in my opinion. I get that you might not have a lot of time, so maybe in a few days? A few weeks? I will notice even if a few months go by. I might not reply to messages right away myself, but I always do eventually. Even if you don't have a paid membership, you can ALWAYS send a smile...you never know what kind of a difference it could make to someone who's feeling particularly down that day.

More than taking it personally, I see it as a character flaw I don't want in a person after all. Or am I being weird in this? rolling eyes

Jan 1st 2013 new

There is another topic about this and you may want to read up on the responses there...it is not necessarily that they are not interested but perhaps they don't have membership so are unable to message back. They can however send an emotigram without a message. There has been request to CM for a "not interested" response button (I think)....

Jan 1st 2013 new

That would be really nice if there were a "not interested" response, but at the same time, I don't always message with people I'm interested in, I might just say "Hey, nice photos" or "Happy new year" and if I got that response, I'd probably roll my eyes (though be thankful they replied at all)

But yeah, my point was that people won't even send the free smiley back- it's free for a reason boggled

Jan 1st 2013 new

Why let it bother you? Sending a short emote to a large group is the easiest and fastest way to shrink the pool of potential mates. It's simple, really. Just continue with the ones who reply and discard the rest without giving them as much as another moment of thought. Just don't allow yourself to become enticed into continuing to message those who don't reply. If they don't reply to the first message the odds that they will reply to to the second are nill.


Personally, I will never send a second message to anyone who doesn't reply to the first. It's not worth my time to do so, especially on a site like this where there are so many who are willing to communicate. Besides, if it's too much to simply say "thank you" are they really worth your time anyway? Are you really losing something from their lack of a reply? No, you're gaining more time to give to those who have made time for you.

Don't worry about their character. That's their problem that they have to live with. Don't allow yourself to be forced to live with it.


theheart

Jan 1st 2013 new

I've been doing the same recently and, like you, I get nothing. Once in awhile a guy will view me, but nothing else. I don't understand it, either. I always send an emotigram -- ya never know! I don't always have computer access and I don't have a phone with Internet or apps, so it may take me awhile, but still.... I always shrug it off -- they don't like my picture or something? I think it's terribly rude, and yeah, a turn off!

I wonder about the character of the person, too! I mean, if you're on here, you're Not looking?? scratchchin

Jan 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-583970 said: I like a lot of the guys I see on here, in my age range and locale, but if I send an emotigram, or...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:

I like a lot of the guys I see on here, in my age range and locale, but if I send an emotigram, or a message, and you can't even send a smile back, and just ignore me, it's the biggest turn off, and just rude, in my opinion. I get that you might not have a lot of time, so maybe in a few days? A few weeks? I will notice even if a few months go by. I might not reply to messages right away myself, but I always do eventually. Even if you don't have a paid membership, you can ALWAYS send a smile...you never know what kind of a difference it could make to someone who's feeling particularly down that day.

More than taking it personally, I see it as a character flaw I don't want in a person after all. Or am I being weird in this?

--hide--

It has been hard for me to learn to deal with without personalizing it as well. What helped me was a quote a guy on here posted on another thread. Rejection is God's protection and a nudge in a better direction.

I do agree that it extremely hard for us especially as women with the bombardment of society's insane beauty standards to not take it personally. At least for me it has been and sometimes leave you feeling taken down a peg or too. Not that hard lessons in humilty are bad for the soul. ( That's what i keep telling myself; it is good for my soul :-) )

Jan 1st 2013 new
I've been here for 10months (only 3 days to go,) and I had to learn fast to not personalize! I tend to be very friendly and make a point of reaching out. At first, when men chose not to reply, I wondered what was wrong with me. As most girls do, I'd go through the list... You ladies know it! Whatever the reason is that you feel unacceptable or undesirable to others... I'm too ugly, fat, etc. etc. etc. I send messages as I see fit... If a man doesn't answer, it is truly his loss. I'm a catch... or at least a wonderful friend! Lol! Funny though... I've never had a woman not return a message... Lol!
Jan 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-583970 said: I like a lot of the guys I see on here, in my age range and locale, but if I send an emotigram, or...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:

I like a lot of the guys I see on here, in my age range and locale, but if I send an emotigram, or a message, and you can't even send a smile back, and just ignore me, it's the biggest turn off, and just rude, in my opinion. I get that you might not have a lot of time, so maybe in a few days? A few weeks? I will notice even if a few months go by. I might not reply to messages right away myself, but I always do eventually. Even if you don't have a paid membership, you can ALWAYS send a smile...you never know what kind of a difference it could make to someone who's feeling particularly down that day.

More than taking it personally, I see it as a character flaw I don't want in a person after all. Or am I being weird in this?

--hide--


You're not being weird on your idea, it's just something you like. Here is one I received from a gal after sending her just a simple emotigram of (Hello): she replied, "Hi there. Thanks for the emotigram! Good luck to you on here and wishing you a blessed Christmas :)." Can I use something similar to gals when I'm not interested in her at that moment. However, I sometimes just run out of things to work with her to continue the conversation. I personally don't think I'm being rude if I don't reply to their message if I have nothing better to say at that moment. Just for fun, I'll wish every lady who has sent me a message (awaiting reply) using a Happy New Year emotigram You get a Gold Star!.

Jan 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said: You're not being weird on your idea, it's just something you like. Her...
(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said:


You're not being weird on your idea, it's just something you like. Here is one I received from a gal after sending her just a simple emotigram of (Hello): she replied, "Hi there. Thanks for the emotigram! Good luck to you on here and wishing you a blessed Christmas :)." Can I use something similar to gals when I'm not interested in her at that moment. However, I sometimes just run out of things to work with her to continue the conversation. I personally don't think I'm being rude if I don't reply to their message if I have nothing better to say at that moment. Just for fun, I'll wish every lady who has sent me a message (awaiting reply) using a Happy New Year emotigram .

--hide--


Yes, that is a wonderful way to send your well-wishes and "rejection" so to speak. And if the conversation runs dry, if there is really a spark there one of you will think of something, anything to say, because if you like somebody you just don't give up :) But whereas there is no conversation whatsoever, and no reply to even a simple emotigram- I do think it's rude.

One thing I did on Christmas Eve: I went back through every person who ever messaged me and sent them a Merry Christmas emotigram! I hope they valued it as much as I value the responses. CM actually blocked me from sending anymore after awhile, and I had to do the rest on Christmas day, haha :P

Jan 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said: You're not being weird on your idea, it's just something you like. Her...
(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said:


You're not being weird on your idea, it's just something you like. Here is one I received from a gal after sending her just a simple emotigram of (Hello): she replied, "Hi there. Thanks for the emotigram! Good luck to you on here and wishing you a blessed Christmas :)." Can I use something similar to gals when I'm not interested in her at that moment. However, I sometimes just run out of things to work with her to continue the conversation. I personally don't think I'm being rude if I don't reply to their message if I have nothing better to say at that moment. Just for fun, I'll wish every lady who has sent me a message (awaiting reply) using a Happy New Year emotigram .

--hide--

WHAT???? Having too many messages to respond to on here is totally a guy problem and why I say it is easier for Catholic guys than us women. The pool of women is much larger to choose from. I do hope that there is a not interested button in place soon. But I also think that a simply note saying "best of luck to you" would convey a similiar thought and also fulfill the charitable aspect of it. Remember men; charity in ALL things. What would St. Joseph do?

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