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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: (Quote) Justin-32820 said: While i totally agree we need to take res...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

Quote:
Justin-32820 said:


While i totally agree we need to take responsibility for our choices, I think it's important to remember that are choices are made in the context of God's Bigger plan for us.





Love LOVE this! You've cogently expressed a balanced view of human free will in the context of God's will!

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Wow, thanks Kristen! This is an issue i've given a lot of thought too, but i i still have a long way to go before i truly understand it. :)

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: In my short time on CM, I have read a number of fora posts including a reference to "God&#...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

In my short time on CM, I have read a number of fora posts including a reference to "God's will." That you must be open to "God's will" in a match so you need to consider persons who perhaps do not have all the qualities you desire. Yet at the same time there have been posts stating that it's really up to you in regard to your qualifications regarding age, appearance, life experience. This seems to be doublespeak to me.

I have a much broader perspective now on God's will and discernment than I used to. I really think God's will is much more dynamic that it is often made out to be - and must be if we believe in human freedom. The fact is, all of us thwart God's will every day - it's called sin. So if we thwart God's will in little ways each day, what makes us think we're going to get it right in big decisions? I think God's will is that we learn how to LOVE during our time here on earth, and because we often screw up this plan for a good portion of our lives, He continues to place new ways to teach us to love in our path and hopefully we will embrace some of these and learn a little more about love during this journey called life.

I don't assume that we'll get it figured out here in this CM thread, since confusion over this was one of the reasons the whole Protestant Reformation happened, but maybe we can all get a fuller understanding for ourselves.

So what's your perspective on God's will?

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I wish God would give people their soulmate's via their Gaurdian Angels. It would be much easier. Then again, maybe finding them and choosing them (the one God has planned for us) is supposed to help us grow closer to God in the process.

Jan 3rd 2013 new

God's will is Free Will. God didn't prevent Adam and Eve from eating of the forbidden fruit. Instead he gave us freedom to exercise our God given intelligence. We may fail in some of those choices, but we thwart God's will more by refusing to chose or hiding from making a choice.

One of the threads here had a woman taking care of her mother, a noble endeavour. However, can you not take care of your mother AND date? I could understand if they were not able to find someone who understood your responsibility, but when you don't even try I have to ask, "Are you not avoiding making a decision?"

For myself, I continually search for someone. My choices are slim in rural Kansas, however I exercise my God given intelligence in avoiding someone and a significant distance. I beleive such a relationship is frought with much perial. I could be wrong, but only time will tell.

None the less, I am buoyed by the thought that only God is perfect.

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Bernie-350671 said: God's will is Free Will. God didn't prevent Adam and Eve from eating of the forbidden fr...
(Quote) Bernie-350671 said:

God's will is Free Will. God didn't prevent Adam and Eve from eating of the forbidden fruit. Instead he gave us freedom to exercise our God given intelligence. We may fail in some of those choices, but we thwart God's will more by refusing to chose or hiding from making a choice.

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While God didn't prevent Adam and Eve from eating the fruit, they, and the rest of humanity, not to mention Christ Himself, have paid greatly for this one sin.Free will is not free license.

Yes, we can thwart God's will by not acting when we know what He wants and don't like it. But we can also thwart it by acting hastily when we are not sure what He wants. There are some situations that require a prompt decision: in these cases we have to do the best we can. However, many decisions, such as dating, do not.

As for the will of God in our daily lives: look at the lives of the saints for guidance. They often exercised patience in making decisions and spent much time in prayer and fasting while discerning God's will. One good book to read is Abandonment to Divine Providence by Jean-Pierre de Caussade. It is available free on-line or can be purchased in print or electronic book formats from many on-line book sellers. www.ccel.org

With regard to the bolded statement: One of the principles of ethics is that we may act only with a certain conscience: if we aren't sure if an act is moral it is better not to act (assuming not acting is not immoral) than to take a chance that the act will offend God. Decisive recklessness is of no merit.

On the matter of conscience, we must also understand that we have an obligation for the continual and proper formation of our consciences. If we are unprepared to make a decision because we have failed in this duty, that, too, is something we are culpable for. See CCC 1783, ff. www.intratext.com (and the next several pages on the web site, using the Next link)

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Alice-788574 said: A priest taught me how to deal with the quandry of discernment. Let's say a situation comes u...
(Quote) Alice-788574 said:

A priest taught me how to deal with the quandry of discernment. Let's say a situation comes up and an important decision must be made. I would pray, "Lord, I need to know what to do here. But I want to do your will." Often, a decision would begin to formulate even as I'm praying, so then I continue, "Lord, here's my idea...Now, I don't know if this is actually your will, but my desire is to do your will. So, this is what I am going to do. If it is your will, bless my efforts. If it is not, block it and direct me along the right path." The prayer is a little convoluted, but what I've done is placed the whole mess in His hands, while at the same time not becoming "frozen" waiting for neon signs and cats and dogs raining from heaven as a sign. The best way to move forward in the spiritual life, a relationship, or anything else is, in fact, to move forward. And in great confidence of God's paternal love.

People cross our paths for a reason, sometimes just fleetingly, but we always learn from the experience and hopefully, grow more loving in the process.

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Hi Alice! My approach is somewhat similar, but much more basic. Let me just say that I understand that doing God's will is not often easy. With that said, if it feels like I'm banging my head against a wall, I'm probably not moving in the right direction. If, instead, doors seem to be opening in another direction (again, not to imply that it's the easy road), then, this is probably the way I need to go. If I "let go and let God" as they say, I find I worry and attempt to control things much less. I hindsight, the times that I've moved in the direction that I thought I was being led are the ones that always turned out for the best (again, not the easiest!). Chelle

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) David-870960 said: Alice... that is a beautiful prayer and approach and conclusion; I actually don't th...
(Quote) David-870960 said:

Alice... that is a beautiful prayer and approach and conclusion; I actually don't think it convoluted at all. I'm going to adapt that....

A woman I met here on CM passed away suddenly before Christmas. She lived on the East coast, and each of our situations didn't seem to allow us to pursue a closer relationship even though we were very much drawn toward each other. We decided to keep in touch, and trust God to lead us together as we prayed and dealt with our immediate responsibilities and the challenge of actually meeting in person. It seems that God blocked that path by calling her Home, and my challenge is again to accept His will while thanking Him for the wonderful privilege of briefly knowing her.

Thank you for sharing your prayer.

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David, I'm very sorry for the loss of your special friend. Chelle

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Bernie-350671 said: God's will is Free Will. God didn't prevent Adam and Eve from eating of the forbidden fr...
(Quote) Bernie-350671 said:

God's will is Free Will. God didn't prevent Adam and Eve from eating of the forbidden fruit. Instead he gave us freedom to exercise our God given intelligence. We may fail in some of those choices, but we thwart God's will more by refusing to chose or hiding from making a choice.

One of the threads here had a woman taking care of her mother, a noble endeavour. However, can you not take care of your mother AND date? I could understand if they were not able to find someone who understood your responsibility, but when you don't even try I have to ask, "Are you not avoiding making a decision?"

For myself, I continually search for someone. My choices are slim in rural Kansas, however I exercise my God given intelligence in avoiding someone and a significant distance. I beleive such a relationship is frought with much perial. I could be wrong, but only time will tell.

None the less, I am buoyed by the thought that only God is perfect.

--hide--


Hi Bernie! You weren't speaking of me; however, I care for my mother as well. She can't be left alone, which means that I have to either pay a caregiver to stay with her or get a volunteer from hospice. Finances restrict one, and availability restricts the other. I can barely "find" the time to go to the gym. Getting my friends to accommodate the hours that I have coverage for my mother is even more difficult - and they are very nice and caring people. This is my first attempt at trying this with a man. As they say, the proof is in the pudding! We'll have to see how it plays out over time. Chelle

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Andrea-368827 said: This is a Jewish video. Since it is the same God we are all working to be one ...
(Quote) Andrea-368827 said:

This is a Jewish video. Since it is the same God we are all working to be one with, i think it provides an interesting view of dating. Learning how to love, not doing our will. (Although, God's will for me is caring for my Mom, I don't do much dating).

youtu.be
(It seems to be not working at this moment - midnight, but I watched it a few minutes ago and enjoyed it).

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Thanks Andrea Hit some hard truths that little video did

Jan 3rd 2013 new

How does one discern what God's will is for us? I start each day asking that He mark my path and allow me to do His will, but other than being open to possibilities and opportunities to do some good, am I really doing what He asks of me? When there are choices to be made, I can pray and trust that whatever I decide will be His will. Mostly, I feel like God has this great broom that he trails behind me with to sweep up my errors and omissions.

I am a bit dense when it comes to knowing what to do. I tend to ask Him to make it very clear so I don't miss it. As far as a spouse, when I met my husband, I could not imagine a future without him in it. It was quite obvious. It didn't happen instantly, it started out hesitantly and grew from there. (Though I'm sure for him it was love at first sight! Ha ha!)

Aside from that feeling when something is totally wrong, it takes me a bit longer to realize that I could be facing something totally right.

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: How does one discern what God's will is for us? I start each day asking that He mark my path ...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

How does one discern what God's will is for us? I start each day asking that He mark my path and allow me to do His will, but other than being open to possibilities and opportunities to do some good, am I really doing what He asks of me? When there are choices to be made, I can pray and trust that whatever I decide will be His will. Mostly, I feel like God has this great broom that he trails behind me with to sweep up my errors and omissions.

I am a bit dense when it comes to knowing what to do. I tend to ask Him to make it very clear so I don't miss it. As far as a spouse, when I met my husband, I could not imagine a future without him in it. It was quite obvious. It didn't happen instantly, it started out hesitantly and grew from there. (Though I'm sure for him it was love at first sight! Ha ha!)

Aside from that feeling when something is totally wrong, it takes me a bit longer to realize that I could be facing something totally right.

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Totally know what you mean. At least you are sensitive to when something is totally wrong. I, alas, am not so good at figuring that out either! But I think it somewhat has to do with the peace that you experience in embracing a particular path. The best writer on discernment for me is St. Ignatius of Loyola. There's a great book called "Discernment: Acquiring the Heart of God" by Marko Ivan Rupnik that breaks open St. Ignatius. That's helped me a lot.

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