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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Rec'd a call this afternoon from an ex-CM woman in her early 50s. We've never F2F, but today we discussed relationships, morality, and moving to phone communication.

She asked me to write this ..

A man should say he's old-fashioned and would like a woman's phone number, but understands how she might be reluctant to release the phone number. He lets the woman know his phone number, just in case she's willing to call him. Of course, if he has Caller ID (I don't) he will see her number.

He emphasizes, if she feels comfortable doing that, he'd prefer to call her.

She said any hope of a relationship must advance from email to phone, then to F2F = Common Sense, which isn't that common. Otherwise it's only penpals.



01/04/2013 new

A lot of women on this site will NOT call a man first.. The posts I see indicate they think he is abdicating his leadership role if he expects her to call first. Personally, I've never had a problem with it, if I'm interested. But a lot of women do..They won't tell him either..They will just start to make themselves scarce and back away from the communicaton.

On the other hand.. If a man asks a woman for her phone number she should give it, if she's interested..Don't hold him off with emailing till he gets bored..He's trying to move the communication to the next level.

I have often given my phone number early on in a chat and have had some really nice phone conversations that way. I can honestly say I've never had anybody abuse calling me. I don't understand the reluctance and emailing for months at a time. I get to know a lot more about a man from his voice on the phone.. I have had some calls that were just dreadful in the pauses and not knowing what to say next..Then I've had others where the conversation flowed like melted butter.. Give me the phone any day over chats and endless emailing.

01/04/2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: A lot of women on this site will NOT call a man first.. The posts I see indicate they think he is ...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

A lot of women on this site will NOT call a man first.. The posts I see indicate they think he is abdicating his leadership role if he expects her to call first. Personally, I've never had a problem with it, if I'm interested. But a lot of women do..They won't tell him either..They will just start to make themselves scarce and back away from the communicaton.

--hide--

I knew this, and mentioned that to the woman. That's when she said her approach might work ... or no phone calls. A basketball player misses 100% of the shots (s)he doesn't take.

Gotta go to 93rd Dinner = 10 M & 10 W - I think I'm the only CMer of the 20. No wonder CMers cry - they don't leave their computer?

01/04/2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: A lot of women on this site will NOT call a man first.. The posts I see indicate they think he is ...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

A lot of women on this site will NOT call a man first.. The posts I see indicate they think he is abdicating his leadership role if he expects her to call first. Personally, I've never had a problem with it, if I'm interested. But a lot of women do..They won't tell him either..They will just start to make themselves scarce and back away from the communicaton.

On the other hand.. If a man asks a woman for her phone number she should give it, if she's interested..Don't hold him off with emailing till he gets bored..He's trying to move the communication to the next level.

I have often given my phone number early on in a chat and have had some really nice phone conversations that way. I can honestly say I've never had anybody abuse calling me. I don't understand the reluctance and emailing for months at a time. I get to know a lot more about a man from his voice on the phone.. I have had some calls that were just dreadful in the pauses and not knowing what to say next..Then I've had others where the conversation flowed like melted butter.. Give me the phone any day over chats and endless emailing.

--hide--

one second ago

A lot of women on this site will NOT call a man first.. The posts I see indicate they think he is abdicating his leadership role if he expects her to call first. Personally, I've never had a problem with it, if I'm interested. But a lot of women do..They won't tell him either..They will just start to make themselves scarce and back away from the communicaton.....And complain about his lack of initiative away from 'prying eyes'

01/04/2013 new

(Quote) Bob-59786 said: I knew this, and mentioned that to the woman. That's when she said her approach might w...
(Quote) Bob-59786 said:

I knew this, and mentioned that to the woman. That's when she said her approach might work ... or no phone calls. A basketball player misses 100% of the shots (s)he doesn't take.

Gotta go to 93rd Dinner = 10 M & 10 W - I think I'm the only CMer of the 20. No wonder CMers cry - they don't leave their computer?

--hide--


I don't know Bob..I had a hamburger with a really nice CM man last night and we only had one phone call weeks ago.. But the phone call was great..He had me laughing the whole time. I was going to be near his area last night and contacted him and said so and we met..

01/04/2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: (Quote) Donna-83441 said: A lot of women on this site will NOT call a man f...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

Quote:
Donna-83441 said:

A lot of women on this site will NOT call a man first.. The posts I see indicate they think he is abdicating his leadership role if he expects her to call first. Personally, I've never had a problem with it, if I'm interested. But a lot of women do..They won't tell him either..They will just start to make themselves scarce and back away from the communicaton.

On the other hand.. If a man asks a woman for her phone number she should give it, if she's interested..Don't hold him off with emailing till he gets bored..He's trying to move the communication to the next level.

I have often given my phone number early on in a chat and have had some really nice phone conversations that way. I can honestly say I've never had anybody abuse calling me. I don't understand the reluctance and emailing for months at a time. I get to know a lot more about a man from his voice on the phone.. I have had some calls that were just dreadful in the pauses and not knowing what to say next..Then I've had others where the conversation flowed like melted butter.. Give me the phone any day over chats and endless emailing.


A lot of women on this site will NOT call a man first.. The posts I see indicate they think he is abdicating his leadership role if he expects her to call first. Personally, I've never had a problem with it, if I'm interested. But a lot of women do..They won't tell him either..They will just start to make themselves scarce and back away from the communicaton.....And complain about his lack of initiative away from 'prying eyes'

--hide--

For those who are reluctant to give out their phone number, I suggest getting a free Google Voice number that can be configured to ring on both your home and cell phones (if desired). You can give out the GV number instead of your actual phone number. If there is a problem just cancel the GV number and get another.

01/04/2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: For those who are reluctant to give out their phone number, I suggest getting a free Goog...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

For those who are reluctant to give out their phone number, I suggest getting a free Google Voice number that can be configured to ring on both your home and cell phones (if desired). You can give out the GV number instead of your actual phone number. If there is a problem just cancel the GV number and get another.

--hide--



Auhhhh... So that's what some men do before they mysteriously disappear. They are leading a secret life shhh

01/04/2013 new

Okay first, women are not going to call some guy at some unknown time on his cell phone...God only knows where you are, who you are with, and what you are up to. NO WAY. Don't expect us to do the work of the scary first phone call.

Offering up the gentlemen's number is gracious...it gives her one more piece of info about you (that she will immediately take to the internet to check up on you!) and a way to get hold of you. It also makes her feel more comfortable saying, oh, that's okay, you call me.

Here's how it's done:

He: I would love to talk to you on the phone [thus indicating his interest, being a leader, being to the point and not vague]. Would you like to do that?

She: [If she wants to]: That would be lovely!

He: Would you like for me to call you, or if not, you can call me-- my number is xxx.xxx.xxxx.

She: No, that is fine, my number is xxx.xxx.xxxx.

or

I am not really comfortable giving out my phone number quite yet, so I would be happy to call you. [okay, it's *67 people to block your number to caller ID].

He: When would it be convenient for you to talk? Can I suggest XXXday at X:XX pm? [Have an actual plan, not just, 'I will call you sometime...NO that does not work].

She: that would be great.

He: great it's a "phone date." [Again, telling her exactly where his thinking is at...no wondering, why is he calling, what does this mean, does he like, etc.]

Oh, and then actually call her. Don't forget, don't blow her off, don't cancel at the last minute. It is the same as an in person date. Keep it, absent illness, accident or death. Seriously.

Okay, it's a new year...let's get out there and make some real connections, y'all!

01/05/2013 new

Pat that is great. Thanks for sharing.

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