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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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jaded on this site.

Jan 8th 2013 new

Just some thoughts about my experience on this site and I'm sure that I will recycle some questions that appear here every three weeks or so. So far I've met a few woman on this site that have either turned out to be here for all the wrong reasons (I've met one woman who said she was catholic but I found out different later) or have been with woman for only a few dates at most.

Most woman that I have been with use this site to end with me as a grand gesture of distaste (they have my phone number, or they can at least tell me the old fashioned way--in person). Much of it sounds like this, "You're such a great person..." or "I'm inspired by the fact that someone is out there like you..." and extol about how I "radically live the gospel," only to terminate communication with me altogether. So...why aren't we still seeing each other if I'm as great as they say...? Help me out with that one.

I don't get it. I'm athletic, intellectual, have a great cast of friends, go church, go to confession, pray the rosary and read the bible regularly have diverse interests, and have good earnings as well as a job that I'm passionate about. I also have a life that I love and would like to share it with someone. On the other hand it seems that women don't like the idea of someone who sober/in recovery or the fact that I have tattoos--never thought those two things would make women turn their noses up at me.

I think I speak for a lot of men on this site when I say I really don't know what else these women are looking for. Truth be told I think they are too picky. Also truth be told I have found non catholic women a lot more welcoming and open minded. I hate to say it, but it seems like women want a man who has all the gentlemanly courtliness of a 18th century nobleman and all the liberality of a secular modern/adrogynous male. A guy who pays all her way and she gets to keep her paycheck. Just one problem--that guy doesn't exist, and I know A LOT of guys.

Now being who I am, I am open to put all of the above for debate and dialectic. I would love to be proven wrong. on all of the above. A few words to women; all of the above is based on my experience and all of the experience of many men on this site. You're not going to win me over with weak replies that say "but we do exist." There are threads on this site to this effect, one in particular to the effect of women not needing men. Well if it's independence you want, you can have it.

LOCKED
Jan 8th 2013 new

And here we go again.... rolling eyes

We should be building each other up...... Dove

LOCKED
Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) David-820720 said: Just some thoughts about my experience on this site and I'm sure that I will recycle some que...
(Quote) David-820720 said:

Just some thoughts about my experience on this site and I'm sure that I will recycle some questions that appear here every three weeks or so. So far I've met a few woman on this site that have either turned out to be here for all the wrong reasons (I've met one woman who said she was catholic but I found out different later) or have been with woman for only a few dates at most.

Most woman that I have been with use this site to end with me as a grand gesture of distaste (they have my phone number, or they can at least tell me the old fashioned way--in person). Much of it sounds like this, "You're such a great person..." or "I'm inspired by the fact that someone is out there like you..." and extol about how I "radically live the gospel," only to terminate communication with me altogether. So...why aren't we still seeing each other if I'm as great as they say...? Help me out with that one.

I don't get it. I'm athletic, intellectual, have a great cast of friends, go church, go to confession, pray the rosary and read the bible regularly have diverse interests, and have good earnings as well as a job that I'm passionate about. I also have a life that I love and would like to share it with someone. On the other hand it seems that women don't like the idea of someone who sober/in recovery or the fact that I have tattoos--never thought those two things would make women turn their noses up at me.

I think I speak for a lot of men on this site when I say I really don't know what else these women are looking for. Truth be told I think they are too picky. Also truth be told I have found non catholic women a lot more welcoming and open minded. I hate to say it, but it seems like women want a man who has all the gentlemanly courtliness of a 18th century nobleman and all the liberality of a secular modern/adrogynous male. A guy who pays all her way and she gets to keep her paycheck. Just one problem--that guy doesn't exist, and I know A LOT of guys.

Now being who I am, I am open to put all of the above for debate and dialectic. I would love to be proven wrong. on all of the above. A few words to women; all of the above is based on my experience and all of the experience of many men on this site. You're not going to win me over with weak replies that say "but we do exist." There are threads on this site to this effect, one in particular to the effect of women not needing men. Well if it's independence you want, you can have it.

--hide--

If you approach women with these pre-conceived prejudices it could be the reason communication ends. I have not come across any of the women you speak of on these forums. Why the seeming anger and judgement? That does not endear you to women at all. Honey is much better than vinegar.

LOCKED
Jan 8th 2013 new

David I am sorry that you are discouraged but you can't paint us all with the same brush. Perhaps you just haven't met the right one yet. Be positive. If it didn't work out then the women you went out with were not the ones for you. Keep praying and have faith and hope that you will meet the one that is right for you. It takes time. Be open and positive.

LOCKED
Jan 8th 2013 new

Kathy I agree with you. I consider myself to be very similar to the kind of woman you are looking for... please forgive the candor, but I resent being painted with the same brush as another woman who I don't know. I know you will find the woman that God has in mind for you!

LOCKED
Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) David-820720 said: You're not going to win me over with weak replies that say "but we do exist." There are t...
(Quote) David-820720 said: You're not going to win me over with weak replies that say "but we do exist." There are threads on this site to this effect, one in particular to the effect of women not needing men. Well if it's independence you want, you can have it.

--hide--

P.S. The kind of woman you are looking for DOES exist on here (myself included in this statement)... you seem like a nice guy that has a lot to say about a lot of things... maybe try to think about why you are here? Just food for thought...

LOCKED
Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) David-820720 said: Just some thoughts about my experience on this site and I'm sure that I will recycle some que...
(Quote) David-820720 said:

Just some thoughts about my experience on this site and I'm sure that I will recycle some questions that appear here every three weeks or so. So far I've met a few woman on this site that have either turned out to be here for all the wrong reasons (I've met one woman who said she was catholic but I found out different later) or have been with woman for only a few dates at most.

Most woman that I have been with use this site to end with me as a grand gesture of distaste (they have my phone number, or they can at least tell me the old fashioned way--in person). Much of it sounds like this, "You're such a great person..." or "I'm inspired by the fact that someone is out there like you..." and extol about how I "radically live the gospel," only to terminate communication with me altogether. So...why aren't we still seeing each other if I'm as great as they say...? Help me out with that one.

I don't get it. I'm athletic, intellectual, have a great cast of friends, go church, go to confession, pray the rosary and read the bible regularly have diverse interests, and have good earnings as well as a job that I'm passionate about. I also have a life that I love and would like to share it with someone. On the other hand it seems that women don't like the idea of someone who sober/in recovery or the fact that I have tattoos--never thought those two things would make women turn their noses up at me.

I think I speak for a lot of men on this site when I say I really don't know what else these women are looking for. Truth be told I think they are too picky. Also truth be told I have found non catholic women a lot more welcoming and open minded. I hate to say it, but it seems like women want a man who has all the gentlemanly courtliness of a 18th century nobleman and all the liberality of a secular modern/adrogynous male. A guy who pays all her way and she gets to keep her paycheck. Just one problem--that guy doesn't exist, and I know A LOT of guys.

Now being who I am, I am open to put all of the above for debate and dialectic. I would love to be proven wrong. on all of the above. A few words to women; all of the above is based on my experience and all of the experience of many men on this site. You're not going to win me over with weak replies that say "but we do exist." There are threads on this site to this effect, one in particular to the effect of women not needing men. Well if it's independence you want, you can have it.

--hide--


I had to check first to make sure I remembered correctly. You are a therapist...thus perhaps the over analyzing. I wish you had access to the Pink Room. The woman are as frustrated as you sound. They are waiting for "the guy" and in some cases "any guy" to just send them an emote or message or chat....or start the phone calls after weeks of chatting...or "do something" to let them know the guys on this site know they exist.


I suspect that everyone is in the protect themselves mode and doesn't risk rejection. Most of the women I know want the guy to make the first move...they are looking for the fellows to step up to the plate...show their manly side. What I am gleaning from some of the threads is that the guys want a feminine women who needs them but doesn't want to give "those other kind of women" the chance to turn them down.


If you go camping and you're fishing for your dinner, you eat what you catch. So I suggest you go fishing and get to know the fish that are out there that take the bait. Of course that requires that you cast your line in the water a bunch of times and reel in nothing a bunch of times. And...you may have to deal with some of "those other kinds of women" that take the bait. You just throw them back, David. No big deal. But when the right one bites...its worth waiting for. The women are waiting, David. If you've reached out to every women in your age group on CM, then I stand corrected.


I suggest you leave the analyzing at home, David, and just go fishing.


- Elizabeth

LOCKED
Jan 8th 2013 new

Well said, Elizabeth... bravo!

LOCKED
Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Emily-747525 said: Well said, Elizabeth... bravo!
(Quote) Emily-747525 said:

Well said, Elizabeth... bravo!

--hide--


Why, thank you Emily. biggrin


- Elizabeth

LOCKED
Jan 8th 2013 new

You are quite welcome!

LOCKED
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