Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match!

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Hi Girls,

I am a guy looking at women in the range of 28 to 32. I would curious to know when Ladies (particularly in this range) think it is best to meet in person.

Similar to David’s thread on “jaded on this site.” – I have exchanged a few messages with a couple of women. After 2 messages (excluding my first message) I suggest we meet in person. After this there is abruptly no reply from them.

I think women feel secure using an online resource like CM, but when it comes to physically meeting in person, they are unwilling. (I would like to note that with the exception of one, all of my contacts were long distance. I have always offered to make the drive, so this is not an issue.)

So Ladies, when do you feel comfortable to meet? Would you prefer to exchange message for months before you meet, or do you think it is OK to insist on meeting soon?

My basic issue is with flakes. I consider those who are not ready to meet, are probably flakes. Am I correct? (By the way, if some of you women have flaked and can share it, I would be grateful.)

Thank you all,

Dave

Jan 8th 2013 new

Hey Dave,

I would be confortable meeting with someone after 2 weeks or more of chatting or discussing on the phone. I would not feel comfortable meeting someone after two messages. It is a bit of common sense in order to protect yourself. I would be scared off if that was the second message.


Melissa

Jan 9th 2013 new
My good estimate is 3 weeks, but that is after almost daily communication of some sort. I like to get a feel of who I will be meeting. I don't do awkward first dates.
Jan 9th 2013 new

If the guy were local it would probably be best to meet after a couple of weeks of communication. Otherwise, a meeting before that would almost be like a blind date.

If the guy was far enough away where it took some effort for a visit, then more communication is warranted. A greater effort in travel would have to come from a greater mutual interest. I think most people would want to make sure they have a solid interest in someone before shelling out hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars to meet them.

And then there's me. laughing I first chatted online with a guy on a Saturday, talked to him on the phone the following Tuesday, and by that Friday we decided we wanted to meet one another, which we did three months later. The only reason we waited for so long to meet was due to the slight distance issue--he was 3800 miles away in another country! I think we also waited until the end of his semester in university (yup, this was a long time ago!)

Jan 9th 2013 new

In my opinion, quicker than later. I sort of get turned off on too many chats and emails. It's like the small talk starts to bore me really quickly. I would say there is no harm to meet soon for a simple meet and greet at a public location as facial expressions and interests can be better interpreted; and if your like me, first impressions are very important as far as maneurisms, etc. Saves time and if it doesn't work, no harm done for each of ya!

So, hey, nothing wrong with quick meet and greet after a couple talks.

The distant thing would need some major communication and that seems like too much work for me at this time embarassed shhh

Good luck to you and everyone and me! Praying rose Bring in a Blessed and Happy New Year for All!

Jan 9th 2013 new

I was in a chat on CM with a local guy once..It was the first time we had chatted and had only exchanged a few emotes before that.. A few lines into the chat he asked if we could meet that evening for dinner.. Two hours later we were in a restaurant eating.. He wasn't a serial killer or a mad stalker.. At some point you have to just go for it..

Jan 9th 2013 new

Hi Dave,

I've gotta hand it to you, you don't play games, and that's really nice to see in a guy. Only once has a guy on here asked to meet me quickly, but we did send messages, chat, and of course, talk on the phone a couple of times. In order to "play it safe" and stay in a lady's comfort zone, though, I would have to agree with some of the other pieces of advice from the ladies in the fora - send messages regularly (about a week or two), ask for her phone number, talk to her at least one or two times, and if the conversation goes smoothly (by smoothly, I mean you have more than 5-10 minutes talks, and aren't pulling teeth to get the other person to talk - lol), *then* ask her out. By then, the chances are that she'll feel comfortable enough talking with you (she's got an idea of what your personality is like, she's heard your voice, and if possible, you got on skype and she saw you face to face before meetint in person), and she won't shy away from a meeting. biggrin Again, it's nice to see a guy who isn't afraid to offer to take that step, so good for you!

Jan 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Melissa-415139 said: Hey Dave, I would be confortable meeting with someone after 2 weeks or more of ...
(Quote) Melissa-415139 said:

Hey Dave,

I would be confortable meeting with someone after 2 weeks or more of chatting or discussing on the phone. I would not feel comfortable meeting someone after two messages. It is a bit of common sense in order to protect yourself. I would be scared off if that was the second message.


Melissa

--hide--


Until you meet someone in person you have no idea what they are really like. They could turn out to be a jerk just as easily after 2 weeks of emails or phone calls as meeting the same day.. If they are a good person, they are good no matter what..If they are bad, they are bad no matter how long you've made them wait to meet..

Jan 9th 2013 new
(Quote) Donna-83441 said: I was in a chat on CM with a local guy once..It was the first time we had chatted and had only exchanged a few e...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

I was in a chat on CM with a local guy once..It was the first time we had chatted and had only exchanged a few emotes before that.. A few lines into the chat he asked if we could meet that evening for dinner.. Two hours later we were in a restaurant eating.. He wasn't a serial killer or a mad stalker.. At some point you have to just go for it..

--hide--


But if he WERE a serial killer Donna we wouldn't know because you wouldn't be here.

All it takes is one psycho (not saying you are Dave) to make you regret meeting too soon. Give the lady enough bio data to check you out and make sure you are not on the Most Wanted List.

Of course you are so darn cute, the ladies were probably afraid you wouldn't like them. I am older than you, so I can get away with calling you cute. biggrin
Jan 9th 2013 new

Thank you so much Ladies for your views on this matter. I think I should correspond a bit more before meeting in person, which I would do. I always intended to meet at a public place: Restaurant, Library, Church etc – but from your messages, I think I need to focus more on emailing, phone and video chat before offering to meet in person. I feel that some of these impersonal communications result in misunderstandings - esp. given my unconventional views.

Thank you everyone,

Dave

Posts 1 - 10 of 16