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This room is for discussion on entertainment, movies, television, jokes or light-hearted topics. Please keep discussion clean and appropriate for a Catholic site.

Saint Vitus is the patron saint of actors, comedians, dancers, and of entertainers in general.
Learn More:Saint Vitus

Jan 13th 2013 new

What do you get when you mix holy water with milk of magnesia?


Catholic Action

Jan 13th 2013 new

One from my 9 year old:

Why did the melons have a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Jan 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: Q: Why was Noah the best businessman in the Bible?A: He floated his stock while everybody else ...
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: Q: Why was Noah the best businessman in the Bible?

A: He floated his stock while everybody else was being liquidated.
--hide--
laughing

Jan 13th 2013 new


Priest and the Rabbi


An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, "Oy vey! What a wreck!" The priest asks him, "Are you all right, Rabbi?" The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken." The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, "Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves." The Rabbi takes the flask and drinks it down and says, "Well, what are we going to tell the police?" "Well," the priest says, "I don't know what your aft' to be tellin' them. But I'll be tellin' them I wasn't the one drinkin'."

Jan 13th 2013 new

Forest Gump and St. Peter

When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in."

"Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My momma used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.' "

"Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are."

1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"

2) How many seconds are in a year?

3) What is God's first name?

"Well, sir," said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."

St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer."

"The next question," said Forest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."

"Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused.

"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …"

St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."

"And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."

"Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"

"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."

St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forest, Run!"

Jan 13th 2013 new

A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been traveling in circles.

"We're lost!" one hiker complained. "And you said you were the best guide in the United States!!"
"I am" replied the guide, "but I think we may have wandered over into Canada."

Jan 14th 2013 new

There was a Hollywood party where Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder met. After chatting a bit Stevie informed Tiger that, he too, enjoyed golf. Puzzled, Tiger asked, "How is it that you can play golf?"

Stevie replied, "My assistant stands down the fairway and blows a whistle, I hit the ball in that direction. So how about playing a round?"

Tiger said, "I guess so. When?"

Tiger answered, "Any night you want!"

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Joseph-750000 said: There was a Hollywood party where Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder met. After chatting a bit Stevie...
(Quote) Joseph-750000 said:

There was a Hollywood party where Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder met. After chatting a bit Stevie informed Tiger that, he too, enjoyed golf. Puzzled, Tiger asked, "How is it that you can play golf?"

Stevie replied, "My assistant stands down the fairway and blows a whistle, I hit the ball in that direction. So how about playing a round?"

Tiger said, "I guess so. When?"

Tiger answered, "Any night you want!"

--hide--
STEVIE ANSWERED "Any night you want!" Sorry!!

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Mike-41230 said: Forest Gump and St. PeterWhen Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearl...
(Quote) Mike-41230 said:

Forest Gump and St. Peter

When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in."

"Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My momma used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.' "

"Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are."

1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"

2) How many seconds are in a year?

3) What is God's first name?

"Well, sir," said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."

St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer."

"The next question," said Forest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."

"Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused.

"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …"

St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."

"And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."

"Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"

"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."

St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forest, Run!"

--hide--
laughing laughing laughing

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Mike-41230 said: I'm glad some folks are enjoying this thread. "Little Ceasers" was a good one Kathhy....
(Quote) Mike-41230 said:

I'm glad some folks are enjoying this thread. "Little Ceasers" was a good one Kathhy.

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

--hide--

now that's funny !!!

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