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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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First Date Advice

Jan 13th 2013 new

Ladies, if you were my first date, what would you like me to do for you? What would make you feel extra special? Would a small gift or a small vase of flowers (not roses) be OK? Would you feel safer and more comfortable if we met at the restaurant as opposed to me coming by your place to pick you up? If we were meeting for lunch at a popular cafe-style restaurant, ie., Panera Bread, what would appropriate dress be? If we have a great time, and the chemistry is there, what would be an appropriate ending for a memorable first date?

At the same time, what would you hope that I wouldn't do on our first date? What would turn you off? What would guarantee that there wouldn't be a second date?

I have to brush up on my manners--and remember to use them. After all, this isn't another night out with the boys.

Guys, what has worked for you? What hasn't?

Thanks in advance for any sage advice!

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-827401 said: Ladies, if you were my first date, what would you like me to do for you? What would make you fee...
(Quote) Daniel-827401 said:

Ladies, if you were my first date, what would you like me to do for you? What would make you feel extra special? Would a small gift or a small vase of flowers (not roses) be OK? Would you feel safer and more comfortable if we met at the restaurant as opposed to me coming by your place to pick you up? If we were meeting for lunch at a popular cafe-style restaurant, ie., Panera Bread, what would appropriate dress be? If we have a great time, and the chemistry is there, what would be an appropriate ending for a memorable first date?

At the same time, what would you hope that I wouldn't do on our first date? What would turn you off? What would guarantee that there wouldn't be a second date?

I have to brush up on my manners--and remember to use them. After all, this isn't another night out with the boys.

Guys, what has worked for you? What hasn't?

Thanks in advance for any sage advice!

--hide--


Happy Birthday Daniel, I hope you had a beautiful day.

The best advice I have for you is - "to be you" cause that is enough.

The gift you bring is yourself and respect the gift of the other.

(I will add one thing, I think it is good to touch a woman on the arm or something on a first or second date. So, she knows you don't find her unappealing and that you are not cold. )

Jan 14th 2013 new

I've got to start this post with a disclaimer: I've never actually had a real date so use your judgement about this "advice."

Be yourself, don't try to change anything. Granted, I wouldn't suggest you reveal everything from the get go because she may be overwhelmed, so use prudence (may not be a good time to tell her you are afraid of tin cans, that you sleep in a coffin, and such like). I don't think a small gift would be out of place, though if you are taking her to dinner, it may be awkward to give her flowers. I like the flower idea though...maybe send them the next day? to her workplace?

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: I've got to start this post with a disclaimer: I've never actually had a real date so use...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

I've got to start this post with a disclaimer: I've never actually had a real date so use your judgement about this "advice."

Be yourself, don't try to change anything. Granted, I wouldn't suggest you reveal everything from the get go because she may be overwhelmed, so use prudence (may not be a good time to tell her you are afraid of tin cans, that you sleep in a coffin, and such like). I don't think a small gift would be out of place, though if you are taking her to dinner, it may be awkward to give her flowers. I like the flower idea though...maybe send them the next day? to her workplace?

--hide--


laughing How did you know about my fear of tin cans, Naomi?!?! You're adorable; I can't believe the young ones aren't lining up at your door!!

My thought on flowers...they can be kind of tricky. One rose is sort of cliche, and a bouquet can be overwhelming - especially if you're not picking her up at her door. Maybe a few winter flowers in a small wrap would be nice, actually. Do you know anything about her? I remember a guy bringing me a large bag of M&Ms because he knew I liked that particular kind of candy.

I don't think you would be wrong to go with your instincts. As a wise man once told me...they're there for a reason, listen to them! Chelle

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Andrea-368827 said: Happy Birthday Daniel, I hope you had a beautiful day. The best advice I hav...
(Quote) Andrea-368827 said:


Happy Birthday Daniel, I hope you had a beautiful day.

The best advice I have for you is - "to be you" cause that is enough.

The gift you bring is yourself and respect the gift of the other.

(I will add one thing, I think it is good to touch a woman on the arm or something on a first or second date. So, she knows you don't find her unappealing and that you are not cold. )

--hide--


Thank you so much, Andrea! Yes, it was a great birthday. I appreciate your feedback. You're right....We are gifts to each other when going out on a date.

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: I've got to start this post with a disclaimer: I've never actually had a real date so use...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

I've got to start this post with a disclaimer: I've never actually had a real date so use your judgement about this "advice."

Be yourself, don't try to change anything. Granted, I wouldn't suggest you reveal everything from the get go because she may be overwhelmed, so use prudence (may not be a good time to tell her you are afraid of tin cans, that you sleep in a coffin, and such like). I don't think a small gift would be out of place, though if you are taking her to dinner, it may be awkward to give her flowers. I like the flower idea though...maybe send them the next day? to her workplace?

--hide--


Thanks for your advice, Naomi! I'm twice your age and have had very few encounters that would qualify as real dates. I'm very fortunate to have this opportunity coming up soon. I think your suggestion to use prudence is very timely, especially in the area of sharing what makes me tick.

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said: (Quote) Naomi-825244 said: I've got to start this post with a disclai...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:

Quote:
Naomi-825244 said:

I've got to start this post with a disclaimer: I've never actually had a real date so use your judgement about this "advice."

Be yourself, don't try to change anything. Granted, I wouldn't suggest you reveal everything from the get go because she may be overwhelmed, so use prudence (may not be a good time to tell her you are afraid of tin cans, that you sleep in a coffin, and such like). I don't think a small gift would be out of place, though if you are taking her to dinner, it may be awkward to give her flowers. I like the flower idea though...maybe send them the next day? to her workplace?




How did you know about my fear of tin cans, Naomi?!?! You're adorable; I can't believe the young ones aren't lining up at your door!!

My thought on flowers...they can be kind of tricky. One rose is sort of cliche, and a bouquet can be overwhelming - especially if you're not picking her up at her door. Maybe a few winter flowers in a small wrap would be nice, actually. Do you know anything about her? I remember a guy bringing me a large bag of M&Ms because he knew I liked that particular kind of candy.

I don't think you would be wrong to go with your instincts. As a wise man once told me...they're there for a reason, listen to them! Chelle

--hide--


Thank you, Chelle! I appreciate your advice. She's an artist, while I'm more the engineer-type. I like the idea of a small wrap of winter flowers. I guess I can try and find out what she likes.

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-827401 said: Ladies, if you were my first date, what would you like me to do for you? What would make you fee...
(Quote) Daniel-827401 said:

Ladies, if you were my first date, what would you like me to do for you? What would make you feel extra special? Would a small gift or a small vase of flowers (not roses) be OK? Would you feel safer and more comfortable if we met at the restaurant as opposed to me coming by your place to pick you up? If we were meeting for lunch at a popular cafe-style restaurant, ie., Panera Bread, what would appropriate dress be? If we have a great time, and the chemistry is there, what would be an appropriate ending for a memorable first date?

At the same time, what would you hope that I wouldn't do on our first date? What would turn you off? What would guarantee that there wouldn't be a second date?

I have to brush up on my manners--and remember to use them. After all, this isn't another night out with the boys.

Guys, what has worked for you? What hasn't?

Thanks in advance for any sage advice!

--hide--


Aw, you're sweet to ask. Great questions! Here's my two cents:


I think flowers are great. It make me know the guy thought about me before the date - not just, oh wait, I have a date. lol


Meeting at the restaurant would make me feel better. Not that you're a creep stalker, but it would still make me feel better.


As far as a restaurant, I'd like it if you picked something based on what I'd like, but something you'd like as well. When I met a guy 3 hours away, I wanted to meet in the middle. He knew I was from New Orleans, so he picked a restaurant in Mississippi that was known for having New Orleans food. It was very thoughtful of him.


I'd say have a place in mind if you want the date to continue... like maybe a park nearby or a coffee shop not too far away. You could always suggest it if you feel the date is going well. I never plan things have dates because I'd like to have that time open if it turns into a 6 hour date... which is never bad! :)


Obviously good manners - letting me order first, opening doors, etc. would make me respected. I tend to watch how my date treats the waitress/waiter/barista and any people around us. Like once at a coffeehouse, my date and I saw a family walk in with several small kids. A toddler was just walking around smiling, and my date smiled and commented how cute the kid was. I was totally cool with that kid taking my attention away. lol Another time, a random older guy on a laptop started talking to my date, but my date wasn't like, Won't this whacko stop talking to me? lol


Things to not do is get too personal... I'd let her lead with the comfort level of questions, maybe. :)

Jan 14th 2013 new
Hey Daniel buddy, For me, most recently, now almost two months ago, we had lunch at a place similar to what you described. I dressed nice but not too formal. We went for a walk and stopped for ice cream. In the ice cream store, a young boy who worked there entertained us with his rendition of Bill Murray's lounge singer. I agree being your best self is the way to go. It was only a couple hours, but a really nice way to get started. I think if it's a first meeting, just meet, make a friend, and see what happens. God is good. I hope you and all in this thread are hugely blessed in 2013! John
Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-827401 said: Thank you, Chelle! I appreciate your advice. She's an artist, while I'm more the...
(Quote) Daniel-827401 said:



Thank you, Chelle! I appreciate your advice. She's an artist, while I'm more the engineer-type. I like the idea of a small wrap of winter flowers. I guess I can try and find out what she likes.

--hide--


Good luck, and Happy Birthday!

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