(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:
John, what a profound, soul-searching topic! I think that certainly when we do not know our...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:
John, what a profound, soul-searching topic! I think that certainly when we do not know ourselves, we can certainly pick persons to be with who we are not compatible with. Hence my stance that either no one should get married until they are 40 (because they'd have a better chance of knowing themselves by then!) or that we should have arranged marriages in our country (I think my mom could've picked someone better for me at that age than I could!). While I'm not really serious about these statements, my point is that I am grateful that I did not marry at a younger age because I DID NOT KNOW MYSELF.
I think I have improved at being able to know someone well, because I've come to know myself better. And I know better how to discern a good HEART in another. Because, that is the important thing. A person may have made many mistakes in his/her life, but if they have learned from these mistakes, have not allowed pain to embitter them, and have learned the importance of being a person of strong moral character whose word can be trusted...-these are the things that are important.
Thanks for letting me know that this topic has some merit even though no marry-it.
Your remarks about people's not being mature with self-knowledge reminds me of a thought I've had about a related remark that one hears from time to time, "Children grow up faster these days." I understand that that statement is true regarding their physical growth, but when people make that claim, they are not talking about physical development. I think that a more accurate (but much more awkwardly worded) statement is, "Many more children than in the past start earlier in adult behaviors such as sexual activity, but these children have not actually grown up psychologically and socially; that is, more children become adults externally but not internally at an early age and so it is incorrect to claim that they, 'Grow up earlier'." If it could be measured, I'd bet that, on average, people grew up (reached social and psychological maturity) faster in the past.
Your knowledge about self-knowledge combined with your awareness of how that self-knowledge affects the rest of your life would make for an interesting topic - (or novel?).
One mistake that some people might make, if they followed your recommendation about getting to know themselves better, is to spend too much time trying to figure themselves out because a lot of self-knowledge comes, not from thinking, but from interactions with other people during which new sides of ourselves are revealed. Probably also a lot of self-knowledge will occur during a good marriage and, for a person with a calling to marriage, it would unwise to expect that all of the self-knowledge that God plans to provide during a marriage will happen before the wedding.
Wondering whether people adept at knowing others should be referred to as "People in the know",