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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Roystan-340472 said: Apparently, there is nothing as good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse. This ra...
(Quote) Roystan-340472 said:

Apparently, there is nothing as good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse. This raises the question of where on the outside of his horse can a man absorb the horse sense that he needs in order to 'know' other people, discernment being an internal kind of thang, one would have thought. The answer, of course, is the right side, not to be confused with the ride side, which is the top side, which should not be mistaken for the top side, which is too close to the equator to be a debater about horse sides.


And lest one be accused of sexism, women being just as capable of discernment as men, where on the outside of the Birrarung mare would this horse sense be parked? On the withers side whether you like it or not.

--hide--

Jan 13th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: After a divorce, after the break up of a serious relationship, and sometimes even after the honeym...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

After a divorce, after the break up of a serious relationship, and sometimes even after the honeymoon, one of the parties comes to the conclusion that, "I didn't really know him or her". This seems to imply that there is another thing that the same person could say, namely, "My judgment was very poor about my own ability was to know whether I did or did not really know another person."

How reliable is your judgment about whether you have or have not come to know another person well? Do doubts in this area affect you much?

How good are you at judging whether you really know someone else well? Has this ability improved a lot over time?

Note that the question is not about your ability to get to know others. It is about how accurate your judgment is when you say to yourself (or perhaps only feel unconsciously), "I have really come to know this person very well."

Nudging those prone to fiction not to fudge about judging,

John

--hide--


John, what a profound, soul-searching topic! I think that certainly when we do not know ourselves, we can certainly pick persons to be with who we are not compatible with. Hence my stance that either no one should get married until they are 40 (because they'd have a better chance of knowing themselves by then!) or that we should have arranged marriages in our country (I think my mom could've picked someone better for me at that age than I could!). While I'm not really serious about these statements, my point is that I am grateful that I did not marry at a younger age because I DID NOT KNOW MYSELF.


I think I have improved at being able to know someone well, because I've come to know myself better. And I know better how to discern a good HEART in another. Because, that is the important thing. A person may have made many mistakes in his/her life, but if they have learned from these mistakes, have not allowed pain to embitter them, and have learned the importance of being a person of strong moral character whose word can be trusted...-these are the things that are important.



Jan 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Roystan-340472 said: Apparently, there is nothing as good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse. This ra...
(Quote) Roystan-340472 said:

Apparently, there is nothing as good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse. This raises the question of where on the outside of his horse can a man absorb the horse sense that he needs in order to 'know' other people, discernment being an internal kind of thang, one would have thought.


And lest one be accused of sexism, women being just as capable of discernment as men, where on the outside of the Birrarung mare would this horse sense be parked?

--hide--
The answer to the question, "where on the outside of his horse ...?", is "On the right side of his horse as the top side would be too hot like the Top End."

The answer to the question, "where on the outside of the Birrarung mare ...?" is the "In the withers whether you like it or not."

Jan 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: John, what a profound, soul-searching topic! I think that certainly when we do not know our...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:


John, what a profound, soul-searching topic! I think that certainly when we do not know ourselves, we can certainly pick persons to be with who we are not compatible with. Hence my stance that either no one should get married until they are 40 (because they'd have a better chance of knowing themselves by then!) or that we should have arranged marriages in our country (I think my mom could've picked someone better for me at that age than I could!). While I'm not really serious about these statements, my point is that I am grateful that I did not marry at a younger age because I DID NOT KNOW MYSELF.


I think I have improved at being able to know someone well, because I've come to know myself better. And I know better how to discern a good HEART in another. Because, that is the important thing. A person may have made many mistakes in his/her life, but if they have learned from these mistakes, have not allowed pain to embitter them, and have learned the importance of being a person of strong moral character whose word can be trusted...-these are the things that are important.

--hide--
Hi Kristen,

Thanks for letting me know that this topic has some merit even though no marry-it. eyebrow

Your remarks about people's not being mature with self-knowledge reminds me of a thought I've had about a related remark that one hears from time to time, "Children grow up faster these days." I understand that that statement is true regarding their physical growth, but when people make that claim, they are not talking about physical development. I think that a more accurate (but much more awkwardly worded) statement is, "Many more children than in the past start earlier in adult behaviors such as sexual activity, but these children have not actually grown up psychologically and socially; that is, more children become adults externally but not internally at an early age and so it is incorrect to claim that they, 'Grow up earlier'." If it could be measured, I'd bet that, on average, people grew up (reached social and psychological maturity) faster in the past.

Your knowledge about self-knowledge combined with your awareness of how that self-knowledge affects the rest of your life would make for an interesting topic - (or novel?).

One mistake that some people might make, if they followed your recommendation about getting to know themselves better, is to spend too much time trying to figure themselves out because a lot of self-knowledge comes, not from thinking, but from interactions with other people during which new sides of ourselves are revealed. Probably also a lot of self-knowledge will occur during a good marriage and, for a person with a calling to marriage, it would unwise to expect that all of the self-knowledge that God plans to provide during a marriage will happen before the wedding.

Wondering whether people adept at knowing others should be referred to as "People in the know", scratchchin

John

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