Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for the discussion of current events,cultural issues and politics especially in relation to Catholic values.

Saint Thomas More was martyred during the Protestant Reformation for standing firm in the Faith and not recognizing the King of England as the Supreme Head of the Church.
Learn More:Saint Thomas More

Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently loo...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently looked up (do not recommend the book - a real downer). But the story she tells is about a fig tree heavy with fruit - each fruit represents a different life choice for her. She hesitates in choosing a fruit, for she knows if she selects one, she by default rejects the rest. But because of hestitation, eventually all the fruit overripens and falls off and she is left with nothing.

The moral of the story: making a choice results in the elimination of other choices. Are there people out there who fear commitment for this reason? And has this fear caused you to miss some opportunities for love? I often think about this paradox - that in order to really grow, one must limit oneself by choosing a specific path, entering deeply into this choice in order to learn how to love. I know this is a really heavy topic, but is important to address in a culture that wants us to buy into the illusion of infinite choice. And sometimes we might decide to choose, only to be disappointed with our choice later on - how do we renew our ability to learn how to love in these situations of disappointment? Looking forward to some deep discussion!

--hide--
Hi Kristen, I think sometimes folks hedge their bets. In other words, they're afraid to commit to one choice/thing/person, because they think something better might be just around the bend. Problem with this....the things/person you were afraid to commit to, might not be available when you decide to take another look.

Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: Yes! All this emphasis on the "perfect choice" bogs down the living of l...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:


Yes! All this emphasis on the "perfect choice" bogs down the living of life! I think about how they chose each other from a very limited pool of people in their rural small town and made a life - and are happy. An increase in choices does not always yield to greater happiness.

--hide--


Oops! "They" = my parents, and many other couples from my rural area.

Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently loo...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently looked up (do not recommend the book - a real downer). But the story she tells is about a fig tree heavy with fruit - each fruit represents a different life choice for her. She hesitates in choosing a fruit, for she knows if she selects one, she by default rejects the rest. But because of hestitation, eventually all the fruit overripens and falls off and she is left with nothing.

The moral of the story: making a choice results in the elimination of other choices. Are there people out there who fear commitment for this reason? And has this fear caused you to miss some opportunities for love? I often think about this paradox - that in order to really grow, one must limit oneself by choosing a specific path, entering deeply into this choice in order to learn how to love. I know this is a really heavy topic, but is important to address in a culture that wants us to buy into the illusion of infinite choice. And sometimes we might decide to choose, only to be disappointed with our choice later on - how do we renew our ability to learn how to love in these situations of disappointment? Looking forward to some deep discussion!

--hide--


I think it is realistic to expect there will be times that your choice isn't all it's cracked up to be. There will be times when everyone else's fruit looks plumper, juicier and more appealing. It is important to nurture a relationship, especially after the routine of marriage settles in. I found the best way to do this is to pray for contentment. Thank God daily for your spouse, your home, your children, your job even when they are boring or routine or fall short of your ideal. When we stay appreciative of what we have, the love grows deeper.

Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Linda-624584 said: Hi Kristen, I think sometimes folks hedge their bets. In other words, they're afraid to commi...
(Quote) Linda-624584 said:

Hi Kristen, I think sometimes folks hedge their bets. In other words, they're afraid to commit to one choice/thing/person, because they think something better might be just around the bend. Problem with this....the things/person you were afraid to commit to, might not be available when you decide to take another look.

--hide--


Very true.

Jan 15th 2013 new

Kristen, this is by far the deepest discussion I have ever seen in a forum to date! I really like your musing here, and it reminds me of a quote from something: it is better to have loved and lost than to never have known love at all.

Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: I think it is realistic to expect there will be times that your choice isn't all it&#...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:



I think it is realistic to expect there will be times that your choice isn't all it's cracked up to be. There will be times when everyone else's fruit looks plumper, juicier and more appealing. It is important to nurture a relationship, especially after the routine of marriage settles in. I found the best way to do this is to pray for contentment. Thank God daily for your spouse, your home, your children, your job even when they are boring or routine or fall short of your ideal. When we stay appreciative of what we have, the love grows deeper.

--hide--


I think this is the challenge Kathy! I observe this lack of contentment often! So important to be grateful!

Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: Kristen, this is by far the deepest discussion I have ever seen in a forum to date! I really like...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

Kristen, this is by far the deepest discussion I have ever seen in a forum to date! I really like your musing here, and it reminds me of a quote from something: it is better to have loved and lost than to never have known love at all.

--hide--


I agree - reminds me of the movie about CS Lewis (with Anthony Hopkins) called The Shadowlands - where he poses the question of which is better: to choose to be safe and to have risked nothing for love, or to love, risking all even for a deep love with another even if it is not lasting (Lewis married his wife knowing she had cancer). Lewis, as a man, chose LOVE over safety.

Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently loo...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently looked up (do not recommend the book - a real downer). But the story she tells is about a fig tree heavy with fruit - each fruit represents a different life choice for her. She hesitates in choosing a fruit, for she knows if she selects one, she by default rejects the rest. But because of hestitation, eventually all the fruit overripens and falls off and she is left with nothing.

The moral of the story: making a choice results in the elimination of other choices. Are there people out there who fear commitment for this reason? And has this fear caused you to miss some opportunities for love? I often think about this paradox - that in order to really grow, one must limit oneself by choosing a specific path, entering deeply into this choice in order to learn how to love. I know this is a really heavy topic, but is important to address in a culture that wants us to buy into the illusion of infinite choice. And sometimes we might decide to choose, only to be disappointed with our choice later on - how do we renew our ability to learn how to love in these situations of disappointment? Looking forward to some deep discussion!

--hide--



Yes a heavy topic indeed.. Just thinking of all those figs growing... I think the internet and social media has put our minds in overload and has given us much more choices than in past generations... It can be good and a bad thing to have so many choices.. But ultimately I think we need to choice between good and evil..

That is the ultimate choice we need to be making in life... To be always choosing the good over the bad... If we go out with someone, we make a choice but we choose to be kind and courteous and God fearing.. To always be seeking the higher good.
One thing that helps me is to test a choice by seeing if it is helping me grow closer to the Lord.


We are all on a journey and should strive for heaven as our destiny... Let's choose to help each other on that path..

Those are my thoughts right now.. Blessings to us as we deal with making our choices.. Prayer and more prayer..

Good topic Kristen... Hope this helps a bit... wave

Kathleen Praying rosary theheart

Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: (Quote) Donnie-397050 said: It's infinitely easier than...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

Quote:
Donnie-397050 said:


It's infinitely easier than it seems if you allow prayer and an educated choice to assist your selection process. If your heart and your intentions are sincere, then there will be smooth sailing. This theory presupposes reciprocation. If your selection is continually looking back at the tree and all the other figs and wondering if THEIR choice was the right one. Then, you're done.



Totally agree with this - that's where I think once you make the choice, the best thing to do is to go forward with it and stop thinking about whether the choice was correct - the point is the choice was made.

--hide--



I may have posted this quote before by Albert Einstein " Learn for yesterday, Live for Today and Hope for Tomorrow" We all sin and make bad choices.. but we live and learn.. and go forward.. another favorite quote.. Do your best and forget the rest ( the bad stuff )


Another quote comes to mind from the Bible... " Lean not on your own understanding , but in all thy ways be mindful of Him ( God) and He will make straight thy path." Proverbs 3:6 theheart


Just more food for thought ... God Bless us Praying Kathleen

Jan 15th 2013 new
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently looked up (do not...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently looked up (do not recommend the book - a real downer). But the story she tells is about a fig tree heavy with fruit - each fruit represents a different life choice for her. She hesitates in choosing a fruit, for she knows if she selects one, she by default rejects the rest. But because of hestitation, eventually all the fruit overripens and falls off and she is left with nothing.



The moral of the story: making a choice results in the elimination of other choices. Are there people out there who fear commitment for this reason? And has this fear caused you to miss some opportunities for love? I often think about this paradox - that in order to really grow, one must limit oneself by choosing a specific path, entering deeply into this choice in order to learn how to love. I know this is a really heavy topic, but is important to address in a culture that wants us to buy into the illusion of infinite choice. And sometimes we might decide to choose, only to be disappointed with our choice later on - how do we renew our ability to learn how to love in these situations of disappointment? Looking forward to some deep discussion!

--hide--


Not sure if this is on topic or off topic but your heavy topic brings to mind a choice I made tonight. As I have shared before I lost my son to an overdose of a synthetic drug. St Gregory's college hosted an open meeting tonight with someone from poison prevention center and someone from law enforcement tonight. I went and I ended up sharing my story tonight. I ended up with a lot of thank you's and several hugs from people I have never met. I was actually told by the poison prevention center person that my just showing up and having the courage to tell my story probably did as much good as his prepared talk on the subject. While I doubt that I do hope that they can do some good with what they presented tonight.....
Posts 11 - 20 of 92