(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:
I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently loo...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:
I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently looked up (do not recommend the book - a real downer). But the story she tells is about a fig tree heavy with fruit - each fruit represents a different life choice for her. She hesitates in choosing a fruit, for she knows if she selects one, she by default rejects the rest. But because of hestitation, eventually all the fruit overripens and falls off and she is left with nothing.
The moral of the story: making a choice results in the elimination of other choices. Are there people out there who fear commitment for this reason? And has this fear caused you to miss some opportunities for love? I often think about this paradox - that in order to really grow, one must limit oneself by choosing a specific path, entering deeply into this choice in order to learn how to love. I know this is a really heavy topic, but is important to address in a culture that wants us to buy into the illusion of infinite choice. And sometimes we might decide to choose, only to be disappointed with our choice later on - how do we renew our ability to learn how to love in these situations of disappointment? Looking forward to some deep discussion!
Kristen, I like your deep thoughts. In fact, I'm more interested in how you may answer your questions - then anything I could add.
My first thought was, I wonder if this was an existential book or a christian one. Since the focus was on the choosing of fruit rather than producing fruit - but that's beside the point. I'm glad you read it and we don't have to (since it was a downer and I read slow).
She also must not have been a farmer, because they usually pick all the fruit, not just one. She must have been a consumer not a producer.
Getting to the moral of the story, one choice eliminating other choices causing a fear of commitment.
For me, I have had fear - but not fear because one choice eliminated the other. That's a different area all together.
But I'll share my thoughts on commitment, because someone might be like me - caught unaware.
As a young adult - I had made a choice, but I was not even fully aware of the choice myself. I only vaguely knew and could verbalize something I did not quite understand myself. I would say something to this effect, I would rather take care of my Mom than take care of some strange guy.
It wasn't until my choice became ripe, 10-12 years later - that I knew this is what I chose all along and why I turned away from anything else.
And so, when my Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2001 and I quit my job at 32 yrs. old. I was probably more prepared then most to be flexible enough to meet the situation. And my life choice is right on to what I wanted all along.
So, my moral of the story is - you may have made a choice and not be fully aware of what it is.
That for some - it may not be fear, but that the choice has been so subtly made, you don't recognize what it is.