Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Letting go

01/16/2013 new

Well, after 5+ years, it is time. I'm taking a break from CM to donate and throw the things of Bob's I've held onto. I'm convinced now he is not coming back. The times I've tried before I become a puddle and had to stop. Please pray for me as I work through this process. I know you've all been there and understand both the feelings of sadness and the freedom that comes with moving forward.

Thank you and know that I pray daily for your strength and happiness.

Kathy

01/16/2013 new
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: Well, after 5+ years, it is time. I'm taking a break from CM to donate and throw the things of Bob's I&...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

Well, after 5+ years, it is time. I'm taking a break from CM to donate and throw the things of Bob's I've held onto. I'm convinced now he is not coming back. The times I've tried before I become a puddle and had to stop. Please pray for me as I work through this process. I know you've all been there and understand both the feelings of sadness and the freedom that comes with moving forward.

Thank you and know that I pray daily for your strength and happiness.

Kathy

--hide--


You have my prayers Kathy. Please know you will be missed!
01/16/2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: Well, after 5+ years, it is time. I'm taking a break from CM to donate and throw the things o...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

Well, after 5+ years, it is time. I'm taking a break from CM to donate and throw the things of Bob's I've held onto. I'm convinced now he is not coming back. The times I've tried before I become a puddle and had to stop. Please pray for me as I work through this process. I know you've all been there and understand both the feelings of sadness and the freedom that comes with moving forward.

Thank you and know that I pray daily for your strength and happiness.

Kathy

--hide--
hug My prayers are with you, Kathy. Loved seeing you in the forums, and I hope you grace us with your humor and kindness again real soon! rose

01/16/2013 new

Praying rosary

01/16/2013 new

Praying rosary theheart

01/16/2013 new
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: Well, after 5+ years, it is time. I'm taking a break from CM to donate and throw the things of Bob's I&...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

Well, after 5+ years, it is time. I'm taking a break from CM to donate and throw the things of Bob's I've held onto. I'm convinced now he is not coming back. The times I've tried before I become a puddle and had to stop. Please pray for me as I work through this process. I know you've all been there and understand both the feelings of sadness and the freedom that comes with moving forward.

Thank you and know that I pray daily for your strength and happiness.

Kathy

--hide--


I will pray for your intentions.

I donated much of my husband's belongings about 6 months after he passed away. There were a few things that I was able to throw away or donate a few weeks after he passed.

I found that when I came about a box of letters or bills, if I sat down and went through them; it was 100% harder to do so due to crying. It also took so much longer. So, I remained standing when I went threw papers. This way, it was a chore, and not relaxation. I did not allow myself to read our letters to each other. Also, I went through papers during daylight. If night time came, it was much easier to relax, which would often make me cry if I read anything.
01/16/2013 new

(Quote) Helen-450889 said: I will pray for your intentions. I donated much of my husband's belongings about 6 m...
(Quote) Helen-450889 said:

I will pray for your intentions.

I donated much of my husband's belongings about 6 months after he passed away. There were a few things that I was able to throw away or donate a few weeks after he passed.

I found that when I came about a box of letters or bills, if I sat down and went through them; it was 100% harder to do so due to crying. It also took so much longer. So, I remained standing when I went threw papers. This way, it was a chore, and not relaxation. I did not allow myself to read our letters to each other. Also, I went through papers during daylight. If night time came, it was much easier to relax, which would often make me cry if I read anything.
--hide--

01/16/2013 new

(Quote) Helen-450889 said: I will pray for your intentions. I donated much of my husband's belongings about 6 m...
(Quote) Helen-450889 said:

I will pray for your intentions.

I donated much of my husband's belongings about 6 months after he passed away. There were a few things that I was able to throw away or donate a few weeks after he passed.

I found that when I came about a box of letters or bills, if I sat down and went through them; it was 100% harder to do so due to crying. It also took so much longer. So, I remained standing when I went threw papers. This way, it was a chore, and not relaxation. I did not allow myself to read our letters to each other. Also, I went through papers during daylight. If night time came, it was much easier to relax, which would often make me cry if I read anything.
--hide--


It's funny how we have to trick ourselves sometimes but what works, works. And we do need to move on.

www.youtube.com

01/16/2013 new

Thank you, all. I have a great deal of admiration for all of you. I hope you use this thread to encourage one another and share your own stories of letting go. I'll try the standing up when I get to the wedding box, Helen. I haven't looked at those 200 paper ashtrays in a long time and the realization of not being able to use them at our 25th anniversary sent me into a great depression back then. It didn't matter that no one even smokes anymore! Well, I'm past that milestone anniversary date, so I'm hoping it will be less traumatic this time.

Some things will be easier than others. For example, I saved a box of shoes for my son to grow into. (My husband was always buying shoes and lamps.) Anyways, my son grew into his shoes a couple years ago and it lasted about two months. Every time he wore a pair, the sole would fall off. The first time was during a band concert. I was so glad to not have to run out and buy him something new to wear with his suit. As he was walking on stage, he bent over and I didn't know what he was doing, but he was sort of an awkward kid, so I figured it could be anything. After the concert, he gave me the sole. We were surprised.

The next time was field day at the shooting range for his gun safety class. He was all decked out in blaze orange and his dad's boots. As he walked along, chunks of his sole kept falling off. I laughed that he put his heart and 'sole' into doing his best that day. We started to wonder if his dad was playing tricks on him. By the third time, we knew it was his dad joking with him and the last time he ever tried wearing any of his shoes.

I thank you again for your prayers and for your offers to help. You are really all the best. I'm in a good place (spiritually and emotionally) to go through this.

Kathy

01/16/2013 new
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: Thank you, all. I have a great deal of admiration for all of you. I hope you use this thread to encourage one a...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

Thank you, all. I have a great deal of admiration for all of you. I hope you use this thread to encourage one another and share your own stories of letting go. I'll try the standing up when I get to the wedding box, Helen. I haven't looked at those 200 paper ashtrays in a long time and the realization of not being able to use them at our 25th anniversary sent me into a great depression back then. It didn't matter that no one even smokes anymore! Well, I'm past that milestone anniversary date, so I'm hoping it will be less traumatic this time.

Some things will be easier than others. For example, I saved a box of shoes for my son to grow into. (My husband was always buying shoes and lamps.) Anyways, my son grew into his shoes a couple years ago and it lasted about two months. Every time he wore a pair, the sole would fall off. The first time was during a band concert. I was so glad to not have to run out and buy him something new to wear with his suit. As he was walking on stage, he bent over and I didn't know what he was doing, but he was sort of an awkward kid, so I figured it could be anything. After the concert, he gave me the sole. We were surprised.

The next time was field day at the shooting range for his gun safety class. He was all decked out in blaze orange and his dad's boots. As he walked along, chunks of his sole kept falling off. I laughed that he put his heart and 'sole' into doing his best that day. We started to wonder if his dad was playing tricks on him. By the third time, we knew it was his dad joking with him and the last time he ever tried wearing any of his shoes.

I thank you again for your prayers and for your offers to help. You are really all the best. I'm in a good place (spiritually and emotionally) to go through this.

Kathy

--hide--
You will be in my prayers....Please know this community is here if you decide to check in from time to time...a support group can be a good thing.

hug hug
Posts 1 - 10 of 18