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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 16th 2013 new

I have a great excuse - I'm in Afghanistan wink

I think a reasonable expectiation would be to "respond" to messages! I get that we all aren't flashing six packs or are six foot tall, or have the longest, darkest hair or some other (trying to be modest) feminine quality that people may look for, but I know that when I get a response from someone, I appreciate that they took the time to write it. I write back and tell them politely that I'm not interested, but normally women don't do that. I wish they would...that would be nice.

Or tell me my profile stinks, rewrite it, and message again...something haha! I'm always up for constructive critique. But hearing something is better than nothing! Think about it (guys and girls)!


Jon

Jan 16th 2013 new
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Guys, this one's for you! I think many of us have seen He's Just Not That Into You
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:

Guys, this one's for you!


I think many of us have seen He's Just Not That Into You. If you are interested in a woman, do you call or message her back within a reasonable time (a day or so) no matter what? What if you're busy? What if you are nervous about what to say? Some women think that if a guy doesn't contact in a timely manner, he's lost interest. But then my guy friends say that they don't always know if the woman is interested, and they don't want to bother them or seem TOO forward.

Example - Guy messages girl. She messages him back the next day. He messages her back 5 days later.

Does that mean she's not that important (he's just not that into her)? If she were important, would you make sure you messaged her the next day, no matter what? (Well, I mean, if you didn't have an emergency, obviously.)


I remember a success story from here where the woman said she thought the guy had lost interest after they had communicated a little. He took A MONTH to reply to her. When she asked why it took so long for him to reply, he said that he would start typing a message then start over, procrastinate, start again, etc. I would guess, though, that if I hadn't heard from a man in a month, that he was gone forever.


So, guys, inquiring minds wanna know...

--hide--
Honestly, sometimes, I get caught up at work for a few days and forget a girl has messaged me for weeks at a time, even if it's one in whom I was really interested! And quite honestly, the delays happen both ways. Often, I'll write up a reply, and my browser will crash, or I'll trash it because it wasn't good enough for what I think she deserves. Often, I'll find myself reviewing old messages and the girl's profile to remember what we have or haven't talked about that I'm interested in knowing or having her know about me. Once in a while, though, a big page of tens or even over a hundred messages will end abruptly, and the person on the other end will hear back MONTHS later that something happened in the family or that the other was dating someone for a while. I was once out for four months due to whooping cough, and I stopped messaging people after I went to the hospital. Frankly, I think this return to replying is a good sign because it means you're near or at the top of their list even after all that time. Others can be offended or will have started dating someone, which is also good. As for getting a message back the first time, it'll often boil down on both sides to a few simple matters: Do they subscribe? If not, they usually won't reply because they can't. This is why you should always have an interview. If they want to get to know you, they can show that by taking the interview and sending a smile, even if they don't subscribe. Did they find us attractive? When people have a whole Internet of people to look through, it's easier for them to look for a more precise visual of what they're looking for. This isn't as superficial as it seems, either. People often have very complicated reasons for being physically attracted to different kinds of people, and sometimes that's a deal breaker. They might decide later that we're alright after all, but let them look around. Maybe they'll find exactly the man or girl they're looking for. (I say both because I'm trying to be generic. I in no way advocate homosexual relationships beyond the fraternal and platonic.) Are they busy people? If their profile says they have a job that can really rack on hours, they might just be busting their rear at work and are waiting for a better time to stay on for more than just a few minutes of reviewing profiles and checking the inbox before bed. If they're military, their schedule can be pretty crazy sometimes, and that's something about which we need to be patient. Is there a distance gap? Or maybe they're currently talking to someone else, and they don't want to feel like they're betraying that person by talking to someone else. Never give up on getting a reply unless you see that the profile has been deleted. That usually means they're off the market for good, and the site has been successful once more.
Jan 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Guys, this one's for you! I think many of us have seen He's Just Not That I...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:

Guys, this one's for you!


I think many of us have seen He's Just Not That Into You. If you are interested in a woman, do you call or message her back within a reasonable time (a day or so) no matter what? What if you're busy? What if you are nervous about what to say? Some women think that if a guy doesn't contact in a timely manner, he's lost interest. But then my guy friends say that they don't always know if the woman is interested, and they don't want to bother them or seem TOO forward.

Example - Guy messages girl. She messages him back the next day. He messages her back 5 days later.

Does that mean she's not that important (he's just not that into her)? If she were important, would you make sure you messaged her the next day, no matter what? (Well, I mean, if you didn't have an emergency, obviously.)


I remember a success story from here where the woman said she thought the guy had lost interest after they had communicated a little. He took A MONTH to reply to her. When she asked why it took so long for him to reply, he said that he would start typing a message then start over, procrastinate, start again, etc. I would guess, though, that if I hadn't heard from a man in a month, that he was gone forever.


So, guys, inquiring minds wanna know...

--hide--

I am just simply saying that if you get a message from a beautiful, talented and intelligent woman like Tara and you don't respond straight away, then I am just not sure what you are thinking. Just had to be said.

Jan 16th 2013 new
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Thanks for the first male response. I can stamp your male card if you'...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:






Thanks for the first male response. I can stamp your male card if you'd like.




I think many use CM on their phones... unless they really are on here pretty much all day. In an instance like that, they could log on everyday, right? lol

--hide--


many may use their phone on CM, I do not. I can't log on from my office due to management restrictions on dating sites. do I log on at home every day? well that depends on if I have time.
Jan 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Guys, this one's for you! I think many of us have seen He's Just Not That I...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:

Guys, this one's for you!


I think many of us have seen He's Just Not That Into You. If you are interested in a woman, do you call or message her back within a reasonable time (a day or so) no matter what? What if you're busy? What if you are nervous about what to say? Some women think that if a guy doesn't contact in a timely manner, he's lost interest. But then my guy friends say that they don't always know if the woman is interested, and they don't want to bother them or seem TOO forward.

Example - Guy messages girl. She messages him back the next day. He messages her back 5 days later.

Does that mean she's not that important (he's just not that into her)? If she were important, would you make sure you messaged her the next day, no matter what? (Well, I mean, if you didn't have an emergency, obviously.)


I remember a success story from here where the woman said she thought the guy had lost interest after they had communicated a little. He took A MONTH to reply to her. When she asked why it took so long for him to reply, he said that he would start typing a message then start over, procrastinate, start again, etc. I would guess, though, that if I hadn't heard from a man in a month, that he was gone forever.


So, guys, inquiring minds wanna know...

--hide--


Generally I will respond to most messages I say most because I do get a few now and then that aren't appropriate or are obvious scams. For exampe "Hey Babe let's get together" is not going to get a response neither is the the guy who is old enough to be my father or someone who wants to travel from Nigera to meet me. eyebrow


If a guy sends an emote I'll emote back same with messages but I won't chase a guy and I think when it comes to it they don't like that overall not that I would feel comfortable doing so myself chasing is their job not mine. On the other the ladies job is to appreciate the attention when it is given and be nice enough to respond to a degree. I guess I'm just too old fashioned for the cyberage. rolling eyes wink

Jan 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I think that I have learnt that on CM like in the real world that if a guy is interested...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I think that I have learnt that on CM like in the real world that if a guy is interested he will give chase pretty rapidly and consistently. The ones who delay are probably not motivated enough. You deserve a guy chasing you as a woman.

--hide--
Oh Boy i'am i going to get a lot of (flack) from my post; But here Goes; My opinion is this i don't "Chace" Ladies not at my age; (i'am not some puppy dog) doing Chasing; When i was younger like in my 20's & (early) 30's yeah i did chasing; And it got me no where; so now at my age i don't chase; However i would be happy to chat; via e-mail with someone; and chat via phone to see; also being i'am out here on the west coast; time zone difference might have something to do with it; But ialso like to give a Lady a chance to respond; Also Shara i'am not yelling or upset by your post; just that at my age things are maybe different than folks at your age; Just my two cents worth; Take care Mike "peace"!!

Jan 17th 2013 new

I try to message back as soon as possible. I get the message notifications in email straight to my phone. If I'm interested I try to express that and let her know.


I actually wonder sometimes when I don't get a response back from her right away.

Jan 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I am just simply saying that if you get a message from a beautiful, talented and intelli...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I am just simply saying that if you get a message from a beautiful, talented and intelligent woman like Tara and you don't respond straight away, then I am just not sure what you are thinking. Just had to be said.

--hide--

You would be suprised how many users go days without check their inbox even though they might know they have messages waiting.

Jan 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Mike-646924 said: Oh Boy i'am i going to get a lot of (flack) from my post; But here Goes; My opinion is this i ...
(Quote) Mike-646924 said:

Oh Boy i'am i going to get a lot of (flack) from my post; But here Goes; My opinion is this i don't "Chace" Ladies not at my age; (i'am not some puppy dog) doing Chasing; When i was younger like in my 20's & (early) 30's yeah i did chasing; And it got me no where; so now at my age i don't chase; However i would be happy to chat; via e-mail with someone; and chat via phone to see; also being i'am out here on the west coast; time zone difference might have something to do with it; But ialso like to give a Lady a chance to respond; Also Shara i'am not yelling or upset by your post; just that at my age things are maybe different than folks at your age; Just my two cents worth; Take care Mike "peace"!!

--hide--

Mike I would never think that about you dearest. hug and I completely understand that. I think as you get wiser with passing time the process changes. For now I like to be chased. biggrin I just think that at this stage in my life I want a guy to think that I am worth the effort of being courted the good old fashioned way.

Jan 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Brian-278516 said: You would be suprised how many users go days without check their inbox even though they ...
(Quote) Brian-278516 said:

You would be suprised how many users go days without check their inbox even though they might know they have messages waiting.

--hide--

Brian,

I am actually kinda teasing and only half serious. I think that we all as women want to be chased but realize that on a dating site the parameters may not always work the same. wink

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