(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Guys, this one's for you!
I think many of us have seen He's Just Not That Into You
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:
Guys, this one's for you!
I think many of us have seen He's Just Not That Into You. If you are interested in a woman, do you call or message her back within a reasonable time (a day or so) no matter what? What if you're busy? What if you are nervous about what to say? Some women think that if a guy doesn't contact in a timely manner, he's lost interest. But then my guy friends say that they don't always know if the woman is interested, and they don't want to bother them or seem TOO forward.
Example - Guy messages girl. She messages him back the next day. He messages her back 5 days later.
Does that mean she's not that important (he's just not that into her)? If she were important, would you make sure you messaged her the next day, no matter what? (Well, I mean, if you didn't have an emergency, obviously.)
I remember a success story from here where the woman said she thought the guy had lost interest after they had communicated a little. He took A MONTH to reply to her. When she asked why it took so long for him to reply, he said that he would start typing a message then start over, procrastinate, start again, etc. I would guess, though, that if I hadn't heard from a man in a month, that he was gone forever.
So, guys, inquiring minds wanna know...
Honestly, sometimes, I get caught up at work for a few days and forget a girl has messaged me for weeks at a time, even if it's one in whom I was really interested! And quite honestly, the delays happen both ways. Often, I'll write up a reply, and my browser will crash, or I'll trash it because it wasn't good enough for what I think she deserves. Often, I'll find myself reviewing old messages and the girl's profile to remember what we have or haven't talked about that I'm interested in knowing or having her know about me.
Once in a while, though, a big page of tens or even over a hundred messages will end abruptly, and the person on the other end will hear back MONTHS later that something happened in the family or that the other was dating someone for a while. I was once out for four months due to whooping cough, and I stopped messaging people after I went to the hospital. Frankly, I think this return to replying is a good sign because it means you're near or at the top of their list even after all that time. Others can be offended or will have started dating someone, which is also good.
As for getting a message back the first time, it'll often boil down on both sides to a few simple matters: Do they subscribe? If not, they usually won't reply because they can't. This is why you should always have an interview. If they want to get to know you, they can show that by taking the interview and sending a smile, even if they don't subscribe.
Did they find us attractive? When people have a whole Internet of people to look through, it's easier for them to look for a more precise visual of what they're looking for. This isn't as superficial as it seems, either. People often have very complicated reasons for being physically attracted to different kinds of people, and sometimes that's a deal breaker. They might decide later that we're alright after all, but let them look around. Maybe they'll find exactly the man or girl they're looking for. (I say both because I'm trying to be generic. I in no way advocate homosexual relationships beyond the fraternal and platonic.)
Are they busy people? If their profile says they have a job that can really rack on hours, they might just be busting their rear at work and are waiting for a better time to stay on for more than just a few minutes of reviewing profiles and checking the inbox before bed. If they're military, their schedule can be pretty crazy sometimes, and that's something about which we need to be patient.
Is there a distance gap? Or maybe they're currently talking to someone else, and they don't want to feel like they're betraying that person by talking to someone else.
Never give up on getting a reply unless you see that the profile has been deleted. That usually means they're off the market for good, and the site has been successful once more.