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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 17th 2013 new

So sorry Paul, we've all been there, I know that doesn't make it easier to handle. Online 'dating' is difficult because we do invest our time and energy into meeting new people and it feels sad to just let it go. You are young and you have time :) I wish I could say that it gets easier with age but I haven't found that to be true! It seems like you have an open heart in finding someone, just speed up the process a little more next time.

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Paul-754314 said: I sent the young lady in question a message last night stating "I like you and I want to get ...
(Quote) Paul-754314 said:

I sent the young lady in question a message last night stating "I like you and I want to get to know you. If you do not reply I will stop attempting to contact you and I will move on." I also called her and left a message earlier this evening. I have not gotten a reply from the message. It is time to move on.

--hide--

I'll try not to judge her but it shows either bad manners or that she is afraid to speak her mind and pulls a stick-the-head-in-the-sand-and-hope-he-doesn't-see-me-trick. Either way, I hope she learn better ways to interact with others.

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Paul-754314 said: Hi Kristen, Thank you. I'm still fairly new to C.M. and to the idea of online dating si...
(Quote) Paul-754314 said:

Hi Kristen,

Thank you. I'm still fairly new to C.M. and to the idea of online dating sites in general. I can't believe that she would be this cold to just "drop" communication so abruptly after almost a month.

--hide--


Paul, Paul, Paul ... You seem like a really nice guy. But you've hit the nail squarely on the head. Seems to me, she's the loser here. Cut your losses, but don't hesitate to cast your bait back out there. After you're here for awhile and folks get to know you a little better, you'll have the opportunity to choose I bit more astutely.

Welcome to CM, amigo! Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Paul-754314 said: I sent the young lady in question a message last night stating "I like you and I want to get ...
(Quote) Paul-754314 said:

I sent the young lady in question a message last night stating "I like you and I want to get to know you. If you do not reply I will stop attempting to contact you and I will move on." I also called her and left a message earlier this evening. I have not gotten a reply from the message. It is time to move on.

--hide--

Paul I only say this because I care. Move on.

Personally, and I assume for most women, the initial stages of getting to know you are exciting times and most women if they are interested will be just as eager to talk to you as you are to them. If this is happening I can tell you that she is probably not interested and perhaps not mature enough to deal with how to tell you so. I am truly sorry as you seem like such a wonderful young man. That being said, someone will come along that respects you and treats you well. Don't settle for less than you deserve. The nice girls in your age group on CM deserve a nice guy like yourself.

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Paul-754314 said: I have recently read and commented on forum topic "Men Calling or Messaging back" Howeve...
(Quote) Paul-754314 said:

I have recently read and commented on forum topic "Men Calling or Messaging back" However I have had a few occasions fairly recently of a woman that I have been messaging with for while (over a month) and she suddenly stopped replying to any and all of my messages I'm wondering why?

--hide--

You case is classic. I would just move on and not waste time wondering. Someone who is truly interested will be consistant and not just disapper.

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Paul-754314 said: I have recently read and commented on forum topic "Men Calling or Messaging back" Howeve...
(Quote) Paul-754314 said:

I have recently read and commented on forum topic "Men Calling or Messaging back" However I have had a few occasions fairly recently of a woman that I have been messaging with for while (over a month) and she suddenly stopped replying to any and all of my messages I'm wondering why?



--hide--


I find that really unkind and disrespectful. I am sorry you experienced that, as I know how it hurts. Personally, when I am not interested, I will just say so, in a kind way, of course. I don't care for leading people on or being led on.

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Paul-754314 said: I sent the young lady in question a message last night stating "I like you and I want to get ...
(Quote) Paul-754314 said:

I sent the young lady in question a message last night stating "I like you and I want to get to know you. If you do not reply I will stop attempting to contact you and I will move on." I also called her and left a message earlier this evening. I have not gotten a reply from the message. It is time to move on.

--hide--

Just out of curiosity though. How did you get her number??????? scratchchin

Jan 18th 2013 new

I will start tapering off conversations with men, no matter how long it's been, if it's apparant that they no longer engage me in meaningful conversation themselves. Other times, honestly, sometimes I just forget sadand I don't mean to, I just never get around to it, and by the time I realize it, maybe a couple months later, their profile is either inactive or I feel: he would have pursued it if he really liked me. Perhaps that's what happened? Life catches you off-guard and you really lose track of the days and all of a sudden it's been a week since you last messaged this great guy...

Messages that are closed-ended, don't ask me any questions, don't have tone (no smileys, no punctuation, no excitement) will make me start the drop.

If I have been talking to someone and it's flowing well, but after a good while they do not ask for my phone number or facebook link, or e-mail: I take that as a hint as well. Even if you just want to be friends, those are pretty important contact informations to have- my last bf and I met here and followed up on facebook within a week. I liked that. You can learn a lot about somebody by seeing what they do on facebook....

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Paul-754314 said: I can't believe that she would be this cold to just "drop" communication so abruptly...
(Quote) Paul-754314 said:

I can't believe that she would be this cold to just "drop" communication so abruptly after almost a month.

--hide--


I must say your experience is nowhere near unique. I've had several conversations on this site, and all of them seem to have stopped abruptly. Only one has led to actually meeting someone, and even that seems to have ended strangely. We met for coffee, chatted for a couple hours, as we parted ways I told her I'd like to see her again and asked for her number, which she gave me. When I tried calling a couple days later I got no answer so I left a voicemail, asking that she call back. Gave that a few days. Tried again and was sent straight to voicemail. At this point I've pretty much lost faith in the online dating scene. Kind-of aggravating though considering I renewed for 6 months only a month ago, and the only reason I renewed was so I could respond to this last one. No indication when we met that there were any issues. We seemed to get along just fine, and we actually had quite a bit in common and had several friends or acquaintences in common already. Very strange situation, but it seems to be the rule more than the exception.

In response to those who simply say to "move on": they're right, but it's never that easy mainly because of the lack of any obvious explanation for the stoppage of communication. I wasn't really emotionally vested in a relationship at this point, but I certainly could see the potential for it, and if the feeling wasn't mutual why not just tell someone rather than leaving them hanging with no explanation? Are women these days really that inconsiderate of the feelings of others?

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-583970 said: He would have pursued it if he really liked me. If I have been talking to someone and it's...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:

He would have pursued it if he really liked me.
If I have been talking to someone and it's flowing well, but after a good while they do not ask for my phone number or facebook link, or e-mail: I take that as a hint as well. Even if you just want to be friends, those are pretty important contact informations to have- my last bf and I met here and followed up on facebook within a week. I liked that. You can learn a lot about somebody by seeing what they do on facebook....

--hide--


The whole "pursuit" issue is really rather annoying to us guys. Mainly because we've all done it, and 9 times out of 10 the girl is just stringing us along. I have no problem with the concept of pursuing, as long as it is mutual. There HAS to be some pursuit back so that we know we're not wasting our time. If I send a message to someone on this site it's because I'm interested, not just to say hi. I would like to think if there is a response other than "not interested" then that means she's interested as well.

Also, don't read in to how long it takes for someone to ask for your phone number. In fact, don't read in to anything, we're not as complex as you would like to think. Maybe that person just moves slow. Maybe if you want to take it to the next level you should let him know by saying "Hey, do you think we should exchange numbers" or "What's your last name? I'd like to add you on Facebook". Sometimes we need a little help to know that you're really interested before we put ourselves out there.

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