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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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I am new to dating and don't really understand how it works. I went on my official first date last year. EX: Dude says would you like to go on a date with me. I am new to this so I didn't know if I was supposed to give him a hug or kiss him on the cheak or what afterwards. lol He took me to an expensive restaraubt for dinner then a movie afterwards. I felt bad b/c he did so much and felt like maybe he deserved something in return. I know that morally since I was not interested in pursing him more nothing was required. I gave him a hug and he left. Should I have kissed him on the cheat or something or is this ok?

Jan 19th 2013 new

You handled it in a good way... don't think twice about it... if he says anything about the manner in which you ended the date, just tell him how you feel and that you didn't want to send the wrong message... you are doing just fine in the dating world ;)

Jan 19th 2013 new
You should do what you're comfortable with and what suits your personality. The guy could have bought you jewelry, it would still just be a first date and there should be no expectations at the end. I've always been taught you can't buy love, and that includes with fancy dinners. The important thing is that whatever you do, with your words and body language, you convey the right message, either this went well and you would like a second date or whatever the appropriate message is. You can definitely say it went well and you'd like to do it again with a handshake if you do it right and use your words properly. More than we like the good like the good night kiss, we like to not feel misled. I know the regular world of guys won't agree on this, but you're asking on a Catholic dating forum and that's the way it works for good Catholics.
Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Brooke-894714 said: I am new to dating and don't really understand how it works. I went on my official first dat...
(Quote) Brooke-894714 said:

I am new to dating and don't really understand how it works. I went on my official first date last year. EX: Dude says would you like to go on a date with me. I am new to this so I didn't know if I was supposed to give him a hug or kiss him on the cheak or what afterwards. lol He took me to an expensive restaraubt for dinner then a movie afterwards. I felt bad b/c he did so much and felt like maybe he deserved something in return. I know that morally since I was not interested in pursing him more nothing was required. I gave him a hug and he left. Should I have kissed him on the cheat or something or is this ok?

--hide--


Brooke - you did great! On a first date, second date...or in a relationship, it is about want you need (versus want) and be secure in putting your own values as the first priority. A man who truly respects a woman and seeks a relationship will understand.

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Gary-918050 said: Brooke - you did great! On a first date, second date...or in a relationship, it is ab...
(Quote) Gary-918050 said:


Brooke - you did great! On a first date, second date...or in a relationship, it is about want you need (versus want) and be secure in putting your own values as the first priority. A man who truly respects a woman and seeks a relationship will understand.

--hide--


Indeed - you have shown what you felt. And that's where dating is about: Finding out what both 'partners' like, and then seeing if it matches up. And if you feel an urge to do something else than you would normally do (for example, kiss instead of hug), that shows you feel that you want to do more for this guy. For myself, I think this is the best of dating: If someone would behave differently then they feel (of course there's always nerves, anxiety, laziness, boredom, whatever included which makes a mismatches between feeling and behaviour wink ), then I would not know if 1) this girl really feels comfortable; and 2) if this girl would show her real self in other things except to hug/kiss.

Jan 19th 2013 new
Well, I'm obviously a girl... Lol but never feel like you owe a guy a kiss just because he treated you to things on a date. Only kiss him if you want to... And he wants to be kissed, of course. Lol welcome!
Jan 19th 2013 new

Brooke, you did perfect. Each and every date is unique and every time I have a new date I never know what to do, LOL. I guess ya just go with the flow, but if you aren't feeling it, then I would politely thank them for the evening and that would be about it.

I plan short meetings, sort of a meet and greet in the beginning, for no more than a couple hours as I don't like eating a full course on the first date and movies wouldn't interest me as you wouldn't get to know them and save that for future dates. This saves a lot of time if you aren't feeling it, LOL. And also you don't feel bad if they paid for a fancy restaurant and movie on you.

Just remember you don't owe anyone anything and never feel you do. Never feel obligated, but it sounds to me you will be just fine biggrin

Jan 19th 2013 new
You've gotten some great responses and advice Brooke. I agree with everything that's been said. Sounds like you handled things perfectly. Most of all be honest and only do what feels right to you.
Jan 20th 2013 new

There's been good advice given and I would agree that you did just fine. I would also agree with the opinion that you owe a guy nothing if he takes you out to a nice restaurant or spends a lot of money on you. I say it's an honor and privilege to go out on a date with a woman and if a guy treats you well, then see it as the price of admission for him to have the honor of your company. You owe him nothing. God bless you in your future dating.

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