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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: A woman who wants a man to do the "initiating" and to "take the lead...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:


A woman who wants a man to do the "initiating" and to "take the lead" are women who wish to be pursued and courted, not chased. They are sincere in their desire and seek the same in the man who is pursuing them, and as such, give the same deference and respect to the man as she expects to receive in return.


Women who seek to be "chased" are the exact opposite. Most who look for a man to "chase" them aren't desiring a man to pursue and court them as much as they're looking for someone to cater to them. What is absent from this, however, is the common respect for each other, as "chasing" is based on fleeting interest and desire rather than genuine and deep-seated desire. More often than not, the "chase" lasts no longer than the length of time it took to begin.


And that's why men will resist the urge to "chase", unless they're desperate. A sincere man will give his best effort to court a woman who he believes is also sincere and respects him as a man. However, he will lose interest the moment he starts to believe that he's pursuing a prima donna. He will simply move on to someone he feels won't waste his time playing games, like insisting that he "chases" her.


I, personally, will pursue (to varying degrees) anyone with whom I have a sincere interest, but I will never "chase" anyone. ANYONE.

--hide--



I like this distinction Victor, and think it's an important one.

Jan 20th 2013 new
I prefer the word "pursuing" rather than "chasing"... Lol if a man were "chasing" me, I would call him and stalker... And call the police lol
Jan 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Guys, this one's for you! I think many of us have seen He's Just Not That Into You
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:

Guys, this one's for you!

I think many of us have seen He's Just Not That Into You. If you are interested in a woman, do you call or message her back within a reasonable time (a day or so) no matter what? What if you're busy? What if you are nervous about what to say? Some women think that if a guy doesn't contact in a timely manner, he's lost interest. But then my guy friends say that they don't always know if the woman is interested, and they don't want to bother them or seem TOO forward.

Example - Guy messages girl. She messages him back the next day. He messages her back 5 days later.

Does that mean she's not that important (he's just not that into her)? If she were important, would you make sure you messaged her the next day, no matter what? (Well, I mean, if you didn't have an emergency, obviously.)

I remember a success story from here where the woman said she thought the guy had lost interest after they had communicated a little. He took A MONTH to reply to her. When she asked why it took so long for him to reply, he said that he would start typing a message then start over, procrastinate, start again, etc. I would guess, though, that if I hadn't heard from a man in a month, that he was gone forever.

So, guys, inquiring minds wanna know...

--hide--


I think some people don't check CM every day. I know I have ebbs and flows. I can check in everyday, sometimes too often, and at other times I don't log on for days. People can be busy at work, away for a few days, have unexpected occurances, such as work crisis', relatives in the hospital or deaths in the family etc. Also, some people don't want to appear desperate, so they might wait a little before responding. I try not to take it personally if someone doesn't respond within a day or two or three.

That being said, there is this double edged sword of being able to see when people are on line here on CM. Obviously, if you see someone you are interested in and have contacted is on line here all the time and doesn't bother to respond to your messages for 5 days, that could be hurtful. Then I would wonder if they are interested at all or are just playing mind games.

Jan 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: I think some people don't check CM every day. I know I have ebbs and flows. I can che...
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said:


I think some people don't check CM every day. I know I have ebbs and flows. I can check in everyday, sometimes too often, and at other times I don't log on for days. People can be busy at work, away for a few days, have unexpected occurances, such as work crisis', relatives in the hospital or deaths in the family etc. Also, some people don't want to appear desperate, so they might wait a little before responding. I try not to take it personally if someone doesn't respond within a day or two or three.

--hide--

Precisely. As much as I am on here at times, I have also gone weeks without looking at CM.

Jan 20th 2013 new

I'm not into the whole "playing games" routine. If I like you, I'm going to make that clear, and tell you my intentions from the start. Now there is a difference between that and "coming on too strong"--which I believe can happen despite games or no games. I don't believe in the whole "wait three days" or whatever dating "gurus" try and tell you. Why can't people just live their lives and not be so shut in emotionally? If I feel the date went well, afterwards I will ask the person if they are interested in going on another one. If I am not feeling it I will make that clear as well. In a tactful and respectful way of course.

Jan 20th 2013 new

I don't know... laughing!


I wish I had a good answer to your topic but I'm curious about how women become interested duck. I must be doing something wrong with the setup of my profile. I might have posted information about me on forums that lowered my chances on getting a reply back from the women on this site. I'll just follow the advice of "stop chasing the women" because they'll just run away eyebrow!

Jan 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Andy-791743 said: I try to message back as soon as possible. I get the message notifications in email straight to my...
(Quote) Andy-791743 said:

I try to message back as soon as possible. I get the message notifications in email straight to my phone. If I'm interested I try to express that and let her know.


I actually wonder sometimes when I don't get a response back from her right away.

--hide--

That's great.

Jan 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: SUPER liked this comment Jerry. Because it is TRUE....
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:


SUPER liked this comment Jerry. Because it is TRUE. I've definitely had my expectations adjusted already. And I am okay with that. In the immortal words of Mick Jagger, "You can't always get what you want."

--hide--


"But if you try sometime, you just might find...You get what you need"! From Mick Jagger's lips to God's ears!! eyepopping wink

Jan 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said: "But if you try sometime, you just might find...You get what you need"! From M...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:



"But if you try sometime, you just might find...You get what you need"! From Mick Jagger's lips to God's ears!!

--hide--


I was waiting for someone to finish the lyrics! wink

Jan 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: A woman who wants a man to do the "initiating" and to "take the lead...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:


A woman who wants a man to do the "initiating" and to "take the lead" are women who wish to be pursued and courted, not chased. They are sincere in their desire and seek the same in the man who is pursuing them, and as such, give the same deference and respect to the man as she expects to receive in return.


Women who seek to be "chased" are the exact opposite. Most who look for a man to "chase" them aren't desiring a man to pursue and court them as much as they're looking for someone to cater to them. What is absent from this, however, is the common respect for each other, as "chasing" is based on fleeting interest and desire rather than genuine and deep-seated desire. More often than not, the "chase" lasts no longer than the length of time it took to begin.


And that's why men will resist the urge to "chase", unless they're desperate. A sincere man will give his best effort to court a woman who he believes is also sincere and respects him as a man. However, he will lose interest the moment he starts to believe that he's pursuing a prima donna. He will simply move on to someone he feels won't waste his time playing games, like insisting that he "chases" her.


I, personally, will pursue (to varying degrees) anyone with whom I have a sincere interest, but I will never "chase" anyone. ANYONE.



--hide--


You are correct Victor.. A woman also wants to feel she's the only one, not one of many.. Personally, I have had way too much experience with being 'one of the crowd'..As soon as I sense there are 'others' I will withdraw and leave the rest of them to it. Bottom line is I don't compete with other women..

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