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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

When you look at somebody's profile do you automatically say to yourself, "well he wrote this and this, so I'm going to bet this is what he or she is REALLY like, so it's probably not worth talking to this person anyway? Or how about, yes this profile meets my checklist so let's give it a shot?

Is what somebody says in his or her profile a make or break deal? scratchchin

God bless

01/20/2013 new
(Quote) Jim-388330 said: Brothers and Sisters in Christ, When you look at somebody's profile do you automatically say to yourse...
(Quote) Jim-388330 said:

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

When you look at somebody's profile do you automatically say to yourself, "well he wrote this and this, so I'm going to bet this is what he or she is REALLY like, so it's probably not worth talking to this person anyway? Or how about, yes this profile meets my checklist so let's give it a shot?

Is what somebody says in his or her profile a make or break deal?

God bless

--hide--
No to the first part of your question. I take it from the words spoken..no more or less. Checklist? Not really...just looking for the man to speak to me Deal breaker? Just recently a man answered no to ALL questions. What is that about? And when he says never goes to mass? Maybe there is a reason for that...keeping an open mind.
01/20/2013 new
I wonder if this same list applies to catholic friendship. I believe communication is a lot more open when people do not have any expectations of the outcome. I never quite understood starting conversations based on eros alone. :P

Anybody recall the other aspects of love? Storge, philia, agape? Bueller?
01/20/2013 new

I base my opinion of a person off their "about me" and then their pictures (which, quite often, tell you even more about their tastes and values). If I see statements that are blatantly against things that I love, such as one day having a large family or the importance of humilty, then I move on. If I see statements that are blantantly against things that I care about, quite frankly, are not that serious (for example, someone who absolutely loves Maroon 5 or tomato soup) these things I do not identify with the essence of the person so I don't exclude them or pass them up because of this.

I made a checklist once...when I was 12. I haven't written one down since, for a friend or for a spouse simply because it is all in the will of God, not my own. I've met so many men and women who have impossible qualifications, and it saddens me because they are holding out for that perfect person whom they've devised in their heads when he/she does not and cannot exist in this world.

01/21/2013 new

(Quote) Jim-388330 said: Brothers and Sisters in Christ, When you look at somebody's profile do you automatically...
(Quote) Jim-388330 said:

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

When you look at somebody's profile do you automatically say to yourself, "well he wrote this and this, so I'm going to bet this is what he or she is REALLY like, so it's probably not worth talking to this person anyway? Or how about, yes this profile meets my checklist so let's give it a shot?

Is what somebody says in his or her profile a make or break deal?

God bless

--hide--
I would admit that I have a checklist of what I like or want, but that check list is a statement of mere preference and not grounds for exclusion. I do have an exclusion criteria that probably are sitting in my subconscious... it's those things that will raise a red flag... I call it intuition and a feel for things. But even if the red flag is raised, I will still give the other person the benefit of the doubt, however, I will proceed with caution.

01/21/2013 new
The only thing that will absolutely exclude someone from consideration is listed blatantly in my profile: anyone who doesn't believe in the sanctity of life.
01/21/2013 new
I think if we're going to be completely honest, everyone has some criteria or we wouldn't even read the profiles. We'd just contact everyone. Since I believe God is at work here, I try to give most guys a chance. I have to admit, I do pass on some based on intuition or things like a guy who wants to start a family, which I cannot do.
01/21/2013 new

(Quote) Jim-388330 said: Brothers and Sisters in Christ, When you look at somebody's profile do you automatically...
(Quote) Jim-388330 said:

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

When you look at somebody's profile do you automatically say to yourself, "well he wrote this and this, so I'm going to bet this is what he or she is REALLY like, so it's probably not worth talking to this person anyway? Or how about, yes this profile meets my checklist so let's give it a shot?

Is what somebody says in his or her profile a make or break deal?

God bless

--hide--



Well Jim, whether we like to admit it or not, I would venture to say that everyone makes decisions about compatibility based on the information given in the profile. But isn't that the reason that we write one? If it didn't matter what people posted we could all just have blank profiles and pair off without any considerations of compatibility! But I believe you are also correct that we probably mis-judge compatibility based on sketchy material. I think it's better to err on the side of liberality.

Probably the things I most look for is shared educational background or educational interests. I like to think and would probably drive some men crazy with all my pondering! wink The other thing I look for is athletic interests. I spend a lot of time exercising and doing active things so someone who doesn't enjoy doing such things would probably not work. And the #1 thing I look for that is so foundational for me that I forget to state it is faith in God. We don't have to be in the same place spiritually, but we have to at least be playing on the same field. biggrin

01/21/2013 new

(Quote) Jim-388330 said: Brothers and Sisters in Christ, When you look at somebody's profile do you automatically...
(Quote) Jim-388330 said:

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

When you look at somebody's profile do you automatically say to yourself, "well he wrote this and this, so I'm going to bet this is what he or she is REALLY like, so it's probably not worth talking to this person anyway? Or how about, yes this profile meets my checklist so let's give it a shot?

Is what somebody says in his or her profile a make or break deal?

God bless

--hide--



Well Jim, whether we like to admit it or not, I would venture to say that everyone makes decisions about compatibility based on the information given in the profile. But isn't that the reason that we write one? If it didn't matter what people posted we could all just have blank profiles and pair off without any considerations of compatibility! But I believe you are also correct that we probably mis-judge compatibility based on sketchy material. I think it's better to err on the side of liberality.

Probably the things I most look for is shared educational background or educational interests. I like to think and would probably drive some men crazy with all my pondering! wink The other thing I look for is athletic interests. I spend a lot of time exercising and doing active things so someone who doesn't enjoy doing such things would probably not work. And the #1 thing I look for that is so foundational for me that I forget to state it is faith in God. We don't have to be in the same place spiritually, but we have to at least be playing on the same field. biggrin

01/21/2013 new

(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said: I would admit that I have a checklist of what I like or want, but that check list is a statemen...
(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said:

I would admit that I have a checklist of what I like or want, but that check list is a statement of mere preference and not grounds for exclusion. I do have an exclusion criteria that probably are sitting in my subconscious... it's those things that will raise a red flag... I call it intuition and a feel for things. But even if the red flag is raised, I will still give the other person the benefit of the doubt, however, I will proceed with caution.

--hide--



Hi Kahirup! (By the way, how do you pronounce that?) There are some things that may turn me off right away about a person. Usually, I need to read their profile before making a final decision. And I do have reservations about certain things. Really, though, I believe it takes getting to know the person. Sometimes, we can be closer on issues than we think at first blush, and there's so much more involved in developing a relationship with someone than a profile description. Thus, I don't want to write off most people before giving them the benefit of the doubt! Chelle (like Shelley not Shell!)

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