I've read somewhere that it takes 30% of the time one is in a relationship to get over the relationship. I have found this to be surprisingly true.
But some other thoughts come to mind that make me lean in the direction of relating to people as soon as may be. And we are setting aside for the moment discussion of "dating" when we haven't that annulment finalized. So let's run with the word "relating" instead of "dating". Though, actually, the rules of behavior for pre and post annulment are pretty much the same.
Basically, we should be relating to the recently divorced if only because isolation is a bad thing. People need reassurance and help in processing and we are not suppose to be ignoring people when they need help.
Of course we may not be the individual to do the helping and we should discern if or when we should distance ourselves.
Also, suppose you meet your God-ordained person and he/she is recently divorced? I get you that he/she would be a mess but do we honestly want him/her processing things with someone else? Not me. There are people who prey on the recently divorced.
Thoughts of mine ... probably semi-worthless to a woman because your experience with divorced men has to be way different from my experience with divorced women. Still, if you believe that meeting people happens for a reason it should make us careful who we reject. As a hard and fast rule I mean.