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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jan 22nd 2013 new
(Quote) Elizabeth-730125 said: I am under the impression that men prefer to initiate the communication. I tried to do more in...
(Quote) Elizabeth-730125 said:

I am under the impression that men prefer to initiate the communication.


I tried to do more initiating in the past and that has not seemed to work for me.

--hide--
I can only speak for myself, but I don't mind at all if a woman initiates contact. Communication goes both ways, so either person should feel free ( and comfortable) starting the ball rolling.
Jan 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-730125 said: I am under the impression that men prefer to initiate the communication. I tried ...
(Quote) Elizabeth-730125 said:

I am under the impression that men prefer to initiate the communication.


I tried to do more initiating in the past and that has not seemed to work for me.

--hide--
I also think that men like to do the initiating. If they are interested they will pursue. I respond to emotiograms and messages but I do not initiate. Just like men I think like to initiate I like to be contacted and do not feel right contacting first. That is just me. LOL

Jan 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-730470 said: I also think that men like to do the initiating. If they are interested they will pursue. I respo...
(Quote) Kathy-730470 said:

I also think that men like to do the initiating. If they are interested they will pursue. I respond to emotiograms and messages but I do not initiate. Just like men I think like to initiate I like to be contacted and do not feel right contacting first. That is just me. LOL

--hide--

I think one of my lessons learnt is that even in the online world a lady should preserve her feminity. I tried to step out of my comfort zone at first and found that it just does not work for me. The other way is much more satisfying.

IMO if a guy wants to talk to a woman bad enough he will initiate. If not, then he is either not interested enough or the sort of fella to take the lead. Either of these things are a turn off for me personally. Once the contact is initiated I agree that there can be back and forth but even then I still like the guy to be the one doing most of the initiating. The system works as is for reason. wink

Jan 22nd 2013 new

Got a chuckle from your response Mary!

Eleanor

Jan 22nd 2013 new

Good point Timothy. I like your cold calls analogy.

Jan 22nd 2013 new

It comes down to expectations; the relationshis that sailed nicely with me aboard were those that clearly stated the expectations before departure. My timing in response mainly has to do with my other obligations. For example, I wrote the first message to one woman here, but knowing I would go on a two week trip in a few days; she responds later that day. I go ahead and respond the day of my departure. She writes back the following day; I get back into town two weeks later, but no response from her after I reply. Who knows what happen? So what.

Also, I just moved to a new city. I did write to some women and men before the move. I got replies. Then I learned I could not get internet access in my apartment due to the previous tenent's account was still active. I went two weeks without internet at home...it was a great time. I do not use this service at work.

A few times I would reply back to her reply; now less than 24 hours from my first message. I know that I will be busy (12 hour work days for the week or dance lessons everynight for a week, whatever giving her time to reply and days for my response. Well, after my quick reply to her first reply the trail gets cold. What I have learned here is that if she replies back weeks later, then she is interested, may be even ending one pursuit to now chase me.

I feel if the woman is unhappy by the time-lapse of my messages, then she can say so. I like a woman who can say "No". If she cann't say "No" then can she say "Yes"? I am at the point in my life that I am no longer accepting neutral interest; one test I see with amazing results is to ask the woman what she likes about my profile. I do mention almost all my messages something in her profile. Hope this helps your inquiring minds.

Jan 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) William-848056 said: It comes down to expectations; the relationshis that sailed nicely with me aboard were those th...
(Quote) William-848056 said:

It comes down to expectations; the relationshis that sailed nicely with me aboard were those that clearly stated the expectations before departure. My timing in response mainly has to do with my other obligations. For example, I wrote the first message to one woman here, but knowing I would go on a two week trip in a few days; she responds later that day. I go ahead and respond the day of my departure. She writes back the following day; I get back into town two weeks later, but no response from her after I reply. Who knows what happen? So what.

Also, I just moved to a new city. I did write to some women and men before the move. I got replies. Then I learned I could not get internet access in my apartment due to the previous tenent's account was still active. I went two weeks without internet at home...it was a great time. I do not use this service at work.

A few times I would reply back to her reply; now less than 24 hours from my first message. I know that I will be busy (12 hour work days for the week or dance lessons everynight for a week, whatever giving her time to reply and days for my response. Well, after my quick reply to her first reply the trail gets cold. What I have learned here is that if she replies back weeks later, then she is interested, may be even ending one pursuit to now chase me.

I feel if the woman is unhappy by the time-lapse of my messages, then she can say so. I like a woman who can say "No". If she cann't say "No" then can she say "Yes"? I am at the point in my life that I am no longer accepting neutral interest; one test I see with amazing results is to ask the woman what she likes about my profile. I do mention almost all my messages something in her profile. Hope this helps your inquiring minds.

--hide--

Did you explain to her that you were going to be out of town? I think that if you did not it could be part of the issue. I think that if I were on the recieving end as a woman and I communicated with a guy and then just did not hear from him for two weeks that I would assume that he had lost interest. If you had sent a message after the two weeks I would have still responded but it would have probably been a short and polite note because I would have assumed that you were just being polite.

Jan 22nd 2013 new

Ah, the missing mountain view. I like it. Think about it: if a man wrote to you with a first message and stated he would be unavailable for communication for two-weeks - how would you feel? Would you trust him on his word? Besides, she could had checked my profile and see the last time I logged in and seen it was over a week. I have done both: mention the trip and not mention the trip. It comes to to testing. Test everything and hold fast to what is true.

What about if a man mentions his subscription ends in a few days? How would you feel about that? I let the cosmic strings of harmony play its tune without me corrupting it by injection of doubt. I seek how the woman values her autonmy and my own. One may ask why write in the first place ? Well, who knows if her subscription will end soon? I have to take that chance. An empty hand by choice is worse than an empty hand of gift-giving. I have too written to a first reply by a woman when it was a few days from the end of my subscription...well maybe the quick response on my part ruined it for her for the women in that regard did not reply back.

For my professional friends...I give them one month to reply to my emails or phone messages, then I send another one, wait a month, then I write a letter if still no reply. Benefit of the doubt - a great gift best unwrapped.

Feb 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I think one of my lessons learnt is that even in the online world a lady should preserve...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I think one of my lessons learnt is that even in the online world a lady should preserve her feminity. I tried to step out of my comfort zone at first and found that it just does not work for me. The other way is much more satisfying.

IMO if a guy wants to talk to a woman bad enough he will initiate. If not, then he is either not interested enough or the sort of fella to take the lead. Either of these things are a turn off for me personally. Once the contact is initiated I agree that there can be back and forth but even then I still like the guy to be the one doing most of the initiating. The system works as is for reason.

--hide--


I agree with you on this Shara .... I too am not inclined to take the lead but certainly will communicate if someone takes the time to communicate with me....as for the time between the communications - well, it is a conversation so I try not to take it too personal - life is busy for all of us and I respect that in others as well - that is why online communication has become so popular - let a communication evolve to what it will be

Feb 7th 2013 new
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: I prefer the word "pursuing" rather than "chasing"... Lol if a man were "chasing" me,...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: I prefer the word "pursuing" rather than "chasing"... Lol if a man were "chasing" me, I would call him and stalker... And call the police lol
--hide--
Are you close enough to get Sherrif Buford T. Justice in hot pursuit?
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