Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

error: Forum not initialized properly! Please check the link and try again.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

I found a lot of good food for thought in this article: www.relevantmagazine.com

I found these bits from the first section particularly interesting:

"I’m intensely certain that nothing in life has ever made me more angry, frustrated or annoyed than my wife. Inevitably, just when I think I’ve given all I can possibly give, she somehow finds a way to ask for more.

The worst part of it all is that her demands aren’t unreasonable. One day she expects me to stay emotionally engaged. The next, she's looking for me to validate the way that she feels. The list goes on—but never ventures far from things she perfectly well deserves as a wife.

Unfortunately for her, deserving or not, her needs often compete with my self-focus. I know it shouldn’t be this way, but I am selfish and stubborn and, overall, human."


" . . . contrary to popular opinion, the goal of marriage is not happiness. And although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow."


Love can draw us out of ourselves, to see more clearly the other person (their perspective, their needs, their dignity). The "drawing out" can be a challenge, but is beautiful and worthwhile.

Thoughts on the article?

Jan 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-901988 said: I found a lot of good food for thought in this article: www.relevantmagazine.com.
(Quote) Sarah-901988 said:

I found a lot of good food for thought in this article: www.relevantmagazine.com

I found these bits from the first section particularly interesting:

"I’m intensely certain that nothing in life has ever made me more angry, frustrated or annoyed than my wife. Inevitably, just when I think I’ve given all I can possibly give, she somehow finds a way to ask for more.

The worst part of it all is that her demands aren’t unreasonable. One day she expects me to stay emotionally engaged. The next, she's looking for me to validate the way that she feels. The list goes on—but never ventures far from things she perfectly well deserves as a wife.

Unfortunately for her, deserving or not, her needs often compete with my self-focus. I know it shouldn’t be this way, but I am selfish and stubborn and, overall, human."


" . . . contrary to popular opinion, the goal of marriage is not happiness. And although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow."


Love can draw us out of ourselves, to see more clearly the other person (their perspective, their needs, their dignity). The "drawing out" can be a challenge, but is beautiful and worthwhile.

Thoughts on the article?

--hide--

Excellent article and right on target. Thank you for posting it!

- Elizabeth

Jan 25th 2013 new

What a great article, thank you for posting it. I included some more good excerpts from it below. Articles like this do make me worry a little though to be honest. Maybe it's because we don't have enough good role models to learn from so that people aren't so incredibly shocked when they get married.


"For 31 days, I intentionally put my wife first over everything else, and then I tracked how it worked. I created a metric for these purposes, to mark our relationship as priority, and then my effectiveness in all other areas of my life on the same scale, including career productivity and general quality of life."

"To my surprise, a month later, I had a chart of data and a handful of ironic experiences to prove that the more you give to marriage, the more it gives back."

"Notably, on the days my wife genuinely felt valued, I observed her advocating for me to invest deeply in to my work. She no longer saw our relationship and my career pursuits as competitors for my attention, and as she partnered with me in my career, I have experienced the benefits of having the closest person in my life champion me."

"What I found in simply charting my observations was that the majority of the time, my child’s behavior was directly affected by the level of intention I invested in my marriage."

Jan 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-901988 said: I found a lot of good food for thought in this article: www.relevantmagazine.com.
(Quote) Sarah-901988 said:

I found a lot of good food for thought in this article: www.relevantmagazine.com

I found these bits from the first section particularly interesting:

"I’m intensely certain that nothing in life has ever made me more angry, frustrated or annoyed than my wife. Inevitably, just when I think I’ve given all I can possibly give, she somehow finds a way to ask for more.

The worst part of it all is that her demands aren’t unreasonable. One day she expects me to stay emotionally engaged. The next, she's looking for me to validate the way that she feels. The list goes on—but never ventures far from things she perfectly well deserves as a wife.

Unfortunately for her, deserving or not, her needs often compete with my self-focus. I know it shouldn’t be this way, but I am selfish and stubborn and, overall, human."


" . . . contrary to popular opinion, the goal of marriage is not happiness. And although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow."


Love can draw us out of ourselves, to see more clearly the other person (their perspective, their needs, their dignity). The "drawing out" can be a challenge, but is beautiful and worthwhile.

Thoughts on the article?

--hide--

hug I just love your articles Sarah ( It's all about these 5 special letters in a first name wink ). Great read. I truly think that the holiest of relationships do just that. They are meant to prefect us for Christ. St. Josemaria Escriva in one of his homilies said that he was once asked by a married man, "What is my path to sanctity?". He then proceeded to ask the man to introduce him to his wife and then pointed to her and told him "This is your path to sanctity and perfection in Christ." I think that if a relationship only affirms who you are in the moment and does not cause you to challenge who you are or your need for growth then it is not fullfilling its purpose no matter how happy it may seem. Our only purpose in life is to get to Christ. Marriage is our means not our purpose. theheart

Jan 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-901988 said: I found a lot of good food for thought in this article: www.relevantmagazine.com.
(Quote) Sarah-901988 said:

I found a lot of good food for thought in this article: www.relevantmagazine.com

I found these bits from the first section particularly interesting:

"I’m intensely certain that nothing in life has ever made me more angry, frustrated or annoyed than my wife. Inevitably, just when I think I’ve given all I can possibly give, she somehow finds a way to ask for more.

The worst part of it all is that her demands aren’t unreasonable. One day she expects me to stay emotionally engaged. The next, she's looking for me to validate the way that she feels. The list goes on—but never ventures far from things she perfectly well deserves as a wife.

Unfortunately for her, deserving or not, her needs often compete with my self-focus. I know it shouldn’t be this way, but I am selfish and stubborn and, overall, human."


" . . . contrary to popular opinion, the goal of marriage is not happiness. And although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow."


Love can draw us out of ourselves, to see more clearly the other person (their perspective, their needs, their dignity). The "drawing out" can be a challenge, but is beautiful and worthwhile.

Thoughts on the article?

--hide--

You should truly post this to single living as many more people seem to read the threads in that area and this is something that everyone should read. I never check in this area and actually only happened to see it by accident because I noticed it was something that you posted. biggrin

Jan 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-901988 said: I found a lot of good food for thought in this article: www.relevantmagazine.com.
(Quote) Sarah-901988 said:

I found a lot of good food for thought in this article: www.relevantmagazine.com

I found these bits from the first section particularly interesting:

"I’m intensely certain that nothing in life has ever made me more angry, frustrated or annoyed than my wife. Inevitably, just when I think I’ve given all I can possibly give, she somehow finds a way to ask for more.

The worst part of it all is that her demands aren’t unreasonable. One day she expects me to stay emotionally engaged. The next, she's looking for me to validate the way that she feels. The list goes on—but never ventures far from things she perfectly well deserves as a wife.

Unfortunately for her, deserving or not, her needs often compete with my self-focus. I know it shouldn’t be this way, but I am selfish and stubborn and, overall, human."


" . . . contrary to popular opinion, the goal of marriage is not happiness. And although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow."


Love can draw us out of ourselves, to see more clearly the other person (their perspective, their needs, their dignity). The "drawing out" can be a challenge, but is beautiful and worthwhile.

Thoughts on the article?

--hide--

One last thing that just occured to me while still pondering the wisdom in his thoughts. This article really highlights the wisdom of the Church when it declares the hierarchy of priorities in marriage to be God, Spouse, Children, Vocation. Does it not just blow your mind when the ancient wisdom of the Church is shown to be true even when applied to our modern world? What an infinite gift we have in Holy Mother Church!!!!! Oh blessed event that made me be born Catholic. theheart

Jan 25th 2013 new

From a popular song in 1967 that I never heard then, because I was in Vietnam..."...Living ain't easy, Loving's twice as tough. Come back Baby when you grow up ...." sung by Bobby Vee.

Jan 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: You should truly post this to single living as many more people seem to read the threads...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

You should truly post this to single living as many more people seem to read the threads in that area and this is something that everyone should read. I never check in this area and actually only happened to see it by accident because I noticed it was something that you posted.

--hide--


Thanks Shara! I was hoping people weren't getting annoyed with all the articles laughing

Jan 26th 2013 new

THIS is SO GOOD it makes me want to cry. clap sad

The part about the biology of what he needed to do for his son as loving his son's mom is priceless.

THE REASON we are stuggling in our society to have healthy marriages is because there is evil one or evil force out there trying to destroy families and good marriages because if we have them we can also climb higher toward God. theheart

I LOVED THE ARTICLE and I intend to share it! THANK YOU!

Jan 26th 2013 new

NO WAY are we annoyed! THEY ARE GREAT! THANK YOU! clap

Posts 1 - 10 of 41