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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Cyber fantasy and expectations

Jan 26th 2013 new

Recently it has come to the attention in the media of what can happen when meeting online and I think that's a good thing. Those of us who have been around awhile still need to stay aware, also.

Not long ago I was starting to get to know a man on here. We did the usual emailing for a short time and then had our first phone call. The first thing he told me was that he had read all my posts going back 4 years and told me he read 1400 of them! eyepopping Actually I was at a loss for words. As we continued our talk things came up and I felt that we were not going in the same direction and I wouldn't be a good match for him to get to know and eventually meet. He didn't agree and was not very nice about it. He had presumed he knew that I was a good match via my posts and I should be co-operative. I wasn't meeting his expectations and he let me know it...unkindly.

It really made me realize how vulnerable you can make yourself through posting. I hadn't posted anything outlandish, he actually complimented me on them initially. Please make sure you think twice before you open yourself up online, wait until you can look into someone's eyes and feel safe in doing so. Online meeting is a great way to sort out who you would like to meet in person or not through basic information and, in the forums, on various topics, as long as they are being honest. We each have the right to not continue with someone if we don't feel they are right for us.


Jan 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Laura-56149 said: Recently it has come to the attention in the media of what can happen when meeting online and I th...
(Quote) Laura-56149 said:

Recently it has come to the attention in the media of what can happen when meeting online and I think that's a good thing. Those of us who have been around awhile still need to stay aware, also.

Not long ago I was starting to get to know a man on here. We did the usual emailing for a short time and then had our first phone call. The first thing he told me was that he had read all my posts going back 4 years and told me he read 1400 of them! Actually I was at a loss for words. As we continued our talk things came up and I felt that we were not going in the same direction and I wouldn't be a good match for him to get to know and eventually meet. He didn't agree and was not very nice about it. He had presumed he knew that I was a good match via my posts and I should be co-operative. I wasn't meeting his expectations and he let me know it...unkindly.

It really made me realize how vulnerable you can make yourself through posting. I hadn't posted anything outlandish, he actually complimented me on them initially. Please make sure you think twice before you open yourself up online, wait until you can look into someone's eyes and feel safe in doing so. Online meeting is a great way to sort out who you would like to meet in person or not through basic information and, in the forums, on various topics, as long as they are being honest. We each have the right to not continue with someone if we don't feel they are right for us.


--hide--
Very true. I think internet dating is a tricky situation and everyone must proceed with caution. While I generally give everybody the benefit of the doubt, at the back of my mind I have my red flag radar up at all times.

Jan 26th 2013 new
(Quote) Laura-56149 said: Recently it has come to the attention in the media of what can happen when meeting online and I think that's...
(Quote) Laura-56149 said:

Recently it has come to the attention in the media of what can happen when meeting online and I think that's a good thing. Those of us who have been around awhile still need to stay aware, also.

Not long ago I was starting to get to know a man on here. We did the usual emailing for a short time and then had our first phone call. The first thing he told me was that he had read all my posts going back 4 years and told me he read 1400 of them! Actually I was at a loss for words. As we continued our talk things came up and I felt that we were not going in the same direction and I wouldn't be a good match for him to get to know and eventually meet. He didn't agree and was not very nice about it. He had presumed he knew that I was a good match via my posts and I should be co-operative. I wasn't meeting his expectations and he let me know it...unkindly.

It really made me realize how vulnerable you can make yourself through posting. I hadn't posted anything outlandish, he actually complimented me on them initially. Please make sure you think twice before you open yourself up online, wait until you can look into someone's eyes and feel safe in doing so. Online meeting is a great way to sort out who you would like to meet in person or not through basic information and, in the forums, on various topics, as long as they are being honest. We each have the right to not continue with someone if we don't feel they are right for us.


--hide--


Well...you just learned the first rule of the 'net. The network remembers things forever. Stuff I posted in the late 80s on various Usenet newsgroups is still out there for anyone to read (of course, back then, the level of discourse was a lot higher than it is today...something about the mediocritizing of activities as population increases...iow, you end up with the lowest common denominator...). Great to remind yourself of that from time to time.

When I introduced the 'net to the Fortune 1 oil company back in 1992 and installed the first connection(s) to the R&D region in NJ and the central computing facility in Houston...my training slide deck had a slide in it that said "Don't say ANYTHING you would be aghast at seeing on a billboard along the interstate." That was 1992. The rule still applies.
Jan 27th 2013 new

sounds more like a stalker than a potential suitor, very strange to read all 1400 posts. I would say he is not worth it and move on :-)

Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: sounds more like a stalker than a potential suitor, very strange to read all 1400 posts. I would ...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

sounds more like a stalker than a potential suitor, very strange to read all 1400 posts. I would say he is not worth it and move on :-)

--hide--



Yes, it did make me uncomfortable and the fact that when I did want to move on he was not gracious about it. You can tell a lot
about a person by the way they accept a "no thank you".

I am sharing this because I felt it a good lesson:)

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