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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said: A similar question was raised maybe a couple months ago and the discussion spiraled into a choi...
(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said:

A similar question was raised maybe a couple months ago and the discussion spiraled into a choice between physical attributes and religious beliefs as if both are exclusive and can not co-exist. My position has been the same: physical attributes spark the initial attraction, personality and shared beliefs sustain the flame.

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I agree with you wholeheartedly. But as soon as I bring the matter of physical attraction and the importance of keeping yourself attractive to your partner, up for discussion, a uncomfortable silence ends it, at best. It's a very touchy subject.

01/27/2013 new

Yes, I think it is a package deal. Faith is the most important thing, but I'd be lying if I said physical attraction wasn't important to me. Although I have to say that a man's attractiveness to me increases exponentially by how funny or intelligent he is. I LOVE someone who can make me laugh! And a man who expresses himself intelligently...Wow! So I definitely agree that personality, attraction and Faith are ALL important!

01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said: Addendum to my earlier post: it won't hurt too if both parties, when they are already in a ...
(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said:

Addendum to my earlier post: it won't hurt too if both parties, when they are already in a relationship, strive not only for perfection of their faith, but also maintain themselve physically attractive for each other.

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Kahirup I find myself almost wanting to shed a tear for this precious moment. I wholeheartedly agree with you. Ladies and gentlemen this moment deserves a round of applause. clap clap clap Just kidding. wink

You are completely right biggrin

01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: I'm thinking the oft referred to dating question of, what is most important faith, personalit...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

I'm thinking the oft referred to dating question of, what is most important faith, personality, looks, values, etc..is illogical.

For me the person needs to be attractive (looks), mesh with my personality, and share my faith/values. I cannot imagine dating somone, and I have attempted, who only shares my faith/values but I'm not attracted to them or we don't quite mesh personality wise or even 2 of the 3.

thoughts?

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I find these types of questions to be interesting. I think I would reflexively reply that faith is the most important, but to be honest this doesn't seem to play out in real life (for me at least). Physical attraction and personality do play an important role. However, I don't think I would say that this question is illogical per say, because for any given person, one of these characteristics could be more important than the others. Sure they all play a role, but perhaps for a woman disillusioned by handsome, fit men who can't hold a conversation, or for a woman frustrated by charismatic, but selfish men, or for a woman who can't muster up even an ounce of romantic attraction for the holiest man she knows... perhaps for these women (or men for that mater) one of those characteristics is more important than the others. Perhaps her experience has taught her that she needs some qualities more than others in a potential spouse.

01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Peter-933860 said: I agree with you wholeheartedly. But as soon as I bring the matter of physical attraction and the...
(Quote) Peter-933860 said:

I agree with you wholeheartedly. But as soon as I bring the matter of physical attraction and the importance of keeping yourself attractive to your partner, up for discussion, a uncomfortable silence ends it, at best. It's a very touchy subject.

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Peter, yes, it sure is a very touchy subject. For some reason, keeping oneself physically attractive has oftentimes been taken to mean one is vain or superficial. Sad but true. I personally believe that a person is responsible not only in cultivating one's inner beauty, but also, in maintaining oneself in good physical condition. If we consider our bodies as the temple of God, then aren't we supposed to take care of it in the best way possible, not only in maintaining its sanctity but also in it's physical upkeep? Just my thoughts.

01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: Kahirup I find myself almost wanting to shed a tear for this precious moment. I ...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

Kahirup I find myself almost wanting to shed a tear for this precious moment. I wholeheartedly agree with you. Ladies and gentlemen this moment deserves a round of applause. Just kidding.

You are completely right

--hide--
Thanks for your approval.

01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said: Thanks for your approval.
(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said:

Thanks for your approval.

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Kahirup I thought that we agreed to be nice to each other. I was simply teasing you. I do agree with everything that you have posted so far on the topic and was simply expressing that. Hope you see it that way my brother in Christ. I will even send you a hug as a peace offering.hug

01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: Kahirup I thought that we agreed to be nice to each other. I was simply teasing you. I d...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

Kahirup I thought that we agreed to be nice to each other. I was simply teasing you. I do agree with everything that you have posted so far on the topic and was simply expressing that. Hope you see it that way my brother in Christ. I will even send you a hug as a peace offering.

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I took it positively. So no worries.

01/27/2013 new
(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said: I am sorry to hear what you've been thru. To correlate your experience with my initial s...
(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said:



I am sorry to hear what you've been thru. To correlate your experience with my initial stand on the issue, I would say, while her physical attributes provided sparks of continued attraction, unfortunately, there was a lack of faith and personality in the woman (as referenced to in your experience) that could have sustained your relationship. I too will not continue a relationship just based on physical beauty if the woman lacks the personality and faith values I adhere to. But does that mean I discount the importance of physical attributes as an ingredient of the relationship? My answer is no.

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Of course not...I guess we're just as picky as the ladies...;) But, the most beautiful person with an ugly interior full of unresolved issues, bad feelings, and animosity...well...all I can do is pray for her.
01/27/2013 new
(Quote) Peter-933860 said: Imagine her true beauty when she becomes the woman she's meant to be. When she has healed up inside, realis...
(Quote) Peter-933860 said:

Imagine her true beauty when she becomes the woman she's meant to be. When she has healed up inside, realises her true value and start living accordingly. Don't you want to be able to say hello to her then?

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Of course, she is a sister in Christ, after all. I do offer a prayer for her healing, but, as a realist, know that I could not continue (nor want to restart) anything with her...
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