(Quote) Jim-50634 said:
I won't presume to speak for all men, nor even just those on CM......I was told by a gal I met on here a few years back, once she got to know me a bit, that she thought I've probably missed some opportunities in my life with other women. It seemed her level of interest was more than I could tell. It's exciting to me when the girl who catches my eye seems just as much interested as I am. My confidence seems to grow when I am able to percieve their interest. Perhaps they often are and I just can't tell. It would seem that personally, I need to be "hit over the head". Perhaps all too often I've misread women as not being really interested when they simply were looking for me to make a move....I don't know.
It could be I have too much pride...It would seem some men have pursued women who have shown no interest at all...only finally to win them over. Perhaps I don't have that in me....I remember a TV commercial some time ago, I can't remember what they were selling...but an older married couple were sitting together and the wife tells us that she turned down the husbands marriage proposal twice...but he was persistent and she accepted his third. I can't imagine asking a woman 3 times...I think she would have lost me after the first refusal....
Of course you always hear that the man should pursue...I need to feel wanted too I guess. I'd like to think that a woman would "pursue" me in her own way with rather obvious signs so that I may continue to "pursue" her. As though we're both "feeding" of each others actions/signals.
A guy once posted on here that he viewed it as a chess match...he makes a move...and the woman responds with a move....if she doesn't....he assumes she's not playing....
From Pride & Prejudice (movie version with Keira Knightley)....
Elizabeth:"I think he(Mr Bingley) likes her(Elizabeth's sister Jane) very much.
Charlotte:"But does she like him?....There are few of us who are secure enough to be really in love without proper encouragement....Bingley likes her...enormously....but might not do more if she does not....help him on."
Elizabeth:"But she's just shy and modest...if he can not percieve her regard he is a fool..."
Charlotte"We are all fools in love..........He does not know her character as we do....she should move fast...snap him up.........."