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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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Well, hopefully that subject got your attention! biggrin

I've seen several posts now related to this topic. There is an article on the website www.catholicmatch.com about being a cougar. Donna has posted an article with a different perspective in another thread (www.catholicmatch.com. And here is the article she posted: thecurrentconscience.com


So here are my questions:

What is a cougar? Is it a woman who is pursuing a relationship with a younger man, or does it mean something else a bit more risqué?


IF being a cougar means a woman in a relationship with a younger man, why is it so threatening that a naughty sounding word is ascribed to the woman for doing this? There is no corresponding name for the man in such a relationship. (See the Current Conscience article for a discussion about the word Sugar Daddy not being a fair comparison)


So finally, what's wrong with being a cougar? And I'm not looking for lots of you to post "Nothing. It's what YOU want that matters." That's not what I'm asking - because apparently this behavior is disturbing enough to some that they need to label it. So let's just hear what's out there. By the way, the medieval obsession with "witches" was for very similar reasons. Very intriguing. wink Looking forward to some exciting discussion!



Jan 29th 2013 new

Here's the third link: thecurrentconscience.com

Jan 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: Here's the third link: thecurrentconscience.com.
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

Here's the third link: thecurrentconscience.com

--hide--


Kristen,

Are you considered a "Cougar" if you date someone about five years younger? I didn't get that sense form the links. I wonder how older or younger men feel about dating someone about five years older than themselves? I'm not trying to hijack your post, but maybe add another dimension to it if someone cares to reply. stir the pot! Its getting cold!

Jan 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: Well, hopefully that subject got your attention! I've seen several posts now related...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

Well, hopefully that subject got your attention!

I've seen several posts now related to this topic. There is an article on the website www.catholicmatch.com about being a cougar. Donna has posted an article with a different perspective in another thread (www.catholicmatch.com. And here is the article she posted: thecurrentconscience.com


So here are my questions:

What is a cougar? Is it a woman who is pursuing a relationship with a younger man, or does it mean something else a bit more risqué?


IF being a cougar means a woman in a relationship with a younger man, why is it so threatening that a naughty sounding word is ascribed to the woman for doing this? There is no corresponding name for the man in such a relationship. (See the Current Conscience article for a discussion about the word Sugar Daddy not being a fair comparison)


So finally, what's wrong with being a cougar? And I'm not looking for lots of you to post "Nothing. It's what YOU want that matters." That's not what I'm asking - because apparently this behavior is disturbing enough to some that they need to label it. So let's just hear what's out there. By the way, the medieval obsession with "witches" was for very similar reasons. Very intriguing. Looking forward to some exciting discussion!

--hide--

Older men marrying younger women is more or less the norm in many cultures, for various reasons. The cougar phenomena is more based on a sexual relationship than an older woman simply marrying a younger man, which is of course perfectly fine. The cougar is a predator in nature and, I think, the use of this term in this context reflects a similar nature in her seeking of sexual prey in younger men.

Jan 29th 2013 new

"...because apparently this behavior is disturbing enough to some that they need to label it..."


So, then, we might want to consider why some of us might consider the behavior disturbing? Do men find they need to label the behavior of older women pursuing younger men or is the act of that labeling one primarily done by women about the behavior of other women? I'm asking questions of myself right now. Have to think about this one for a little bit.

Jan 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Peter-933860 said: Older men marrying younger women is more or less the norm in many cultures, for various ...
(Quote) Peter-933860 said:

Older men marrying younger women is more or less the norm in many cultures, for various reasons. The cougar phenomena is more based on a sexual relationship than an older woman simply marrying a younger man, which is of course perfectly fine. The cougar is a predator in nature and, I think, the use of this term in this context reflects a similar nature in her seeking of sexual prey in younger men.

--hide--


Well, that was what I was wondering. And I would certainly consider that type of behavior to be negative.

Jan 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: Well, that was what I was wondering. And I would certainly consider that type of b...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:


Well, that was what I was wondering. And I would certainly consider that type of behavior to be negative.

--hide--


But at the same time I do hear the term being applied to women who are in a relationship with a younger man that is leading to marriage. So there must be something to the term beyond that.

Jan 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Eloise-899090 said: Kristen,Are you considered a "Cougar" if you date someone about five y...
(Quote) Eloise-899090 said:



Kristen,

Are you considered a "Cougar" if you date someone about five years younger? I didn't get that sense form the links. I wonder how older or younger men feel about dating someone about five years older than themselves? I'm not trying to hijack your post, but maybe add another dimension to it if someone cares to reply.

--hide--


That's a great question Eloise. I don't think that is hijacking the post! smile

Jan 29th 2013 new
I have dated men my own age, eight years older and eight years younger than myself. For me it depends on common interests and goals not the ages.....
Jan 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: But at the same time I do hear the term being applied to women who are in a relati...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:


But at the same time I do hear the term being applied to women who are in a relationship with a younger man that is leading to marriage. So there must be something to the term beyond that.

--hide--

Hello Kristen,

Well, basically speaking, it's nothing but a derogatory term...a label which tells of the trashy nature of contemporary society, and it's useage in this sense only shows the immaturity and ignorance of those who degrade others by using it against them. I had never even heard of the term before coming to C.M. years ago, and as a gent who has, in fact, shared very meaningful courtships...throughout his life...with those many years his senior...I cannot help but to be offended by it. A relationship, shared between two individuals, which is based entirely upon those beautiful things we share within the depths of the heart...is a priceless blessing from God. Indeed, the dear lady I am presently courting, is 20 years older than I...and the abundance of what we have between us I'd not trade for the world. I cannot help, therefore, to detest the idea of modern society making frivilous and inappropriate assumptions about those like ourselves...and insinuating that our motives are less than honourable and pure.

So few people today, within the world we live in...regardless of age or social status...know the meaning of a relationship which is founded in Our Lord, and sealed with the gift of His Love, nor even how to look for it. Hence, sadly, the reason why so many marriages today often end in failure. It can be difficult to put into words, however, when we have the precious gift of finding someone we can share the depths of our hearts with, a common direction...and an inner unity which binds us together...it is then we do discover that nothing upon the physical realm should ever be a determining factor, whether it be one's age, outer characteristics, or things on the material realm. For a relationship truly ordained by God is not to be squandered nor thrown away, based solely upon trivialities. If others choose to talk, cast their judgements, or apply their ignorant labels...we have no control over that. In essence though, it bears no reflection on ourselves...but only speaks volumes about the immaturity of others who do this.

Hope that this is helpful, and God Bless You!

~Dominick.

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