I don't want to laugh, dear, but I read this and thought, "I should be so lucky!"
Cynthia was being very brave and sincere in posting this "unsavory" topic.
I didn't mean to minimize the seriousness of her concern.
But personally I've never experienced anything remotely similar.
Just my humble opinion.
Marge I understand what you mean - sometimes you'd almost prefer disrespect to feeling invisible! I understand your comment.
I have been widowed twice, once after a 30 year marriage. My husband's older brother made a pass at me at the funeral. Talk about shock! Fortunately, I spent a number of years as a career woman in NYC before marrying and learned to fend off unwanted sexual advances from some pros. Widows should remember that single women regardless of reason (never married, divorced or widowed) are for some reason considered fair game for this kind of behavior. I talked to my teen girls about how to fend off these advances if they occur, and that just because some men think of women as nothing more than willing recipients for their sexual fantasies, many men have been raised better. I talked to my teen sons about how to treat girls as they would want their sisters to be treated.
One thing for all of us to consider though, is that with some of these cavemen, what is actually occuring is a crude attempt to make contact with a woman they like; their upbringing and peer relationships have led them to believe that women actually like this kind of crudity. Its also true that there are women who encourage and agree to their suggestions, either out of low self esteem, or a way to manipulate men into providing them with something they want, either attention or "stuff" or even being supported. I'm not suggesting putting up with it. These men need to be shut down in no uncertain terms, for their own sakes as well as ours, but in some cases just being told this is not the way to attract women may be enough to stop it. In others, the men truly are predators and deserve no more than an emphatic "Get Lost!"
Being hit on by a married or taken man just made my stomach turn. Plus it put me in a very uncomforable situation and basically I had to stop hanging out with my one girlfriend because her husband was such a scum bag. Our kids were friends too. What in the world do I tell 5 year olds as to why we cannot have their friend over? If a decent Christian available man paid attention to me I would be flattered. Having a married man do this to me was not a compliment at all. Sometimes no attention is better than negative attention.
Would anyone be flattered if a sex offender or convict hit on them? Gross! I put married men that hit on widows in the same category-trash.
First let me apologizes for my less than chivalrous contemporaries, but believe it or not sometimes widowers get the same type of advances from women around us(or maybe I'm just weird). I want you to know that chivalry is not totally dead and there are those of us out here that want to be friends first before anything else.