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Saint Anthony is the patron of lost things and missing persons.
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Feb 5th 2013 new

I got blocked last week just for taking some guys interview rolling eyes first time ever, too. I guess try not to take it personally- some people might not know how online dating works, and may think blocking someone isn't as rude as it is....maybe they think it's the same as just not showing interest? IDK, but yeah, I get where you're coming from....

Feb 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Francis-666100 said: You are all missing the point of this post. My goal is not to gain pitty or sympathy its maily ...
(Quote) Francis-666100 said:

You are all missing the point of this post. My goal is not to gain pitty or sympathy its maily being used to bring attention to the fact that peple both men and women need to use manners and respect people. My view is simply this if you would not treat a person with indifference on the street don't do it in respect to your interactions here. My main reason for posting this question was that I wanted to bring this issue to light because feel that if people respect eachother then chances are the community as a whole wil become better.

--hide--
Francis -- I don't feel the posts were a show of pity or sympathy. We strongly agreed that from all appearances there was a breach of good manners. I don't think that all of us were missing the point at all, as you have stated.

The world is full of people who fail to display good manners -- it's a sign of the times. We don't like it; it's not an ideal situation, and part of what we can do to combat the problem is to display good manners ourselves. In other words, show others by our example.

You haven't really brought up anything new -- this and closely related topics have appeared often, as Donna stated. We deal with it as best we can and move on. To let the wound fester won't help healing.

Feb 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-583970 said: I got blocked last week just for taking some guys interview first time ever, too. I guess try not ...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:

I got blocked last week just for taking some guys interview first time ever, too. I guess try not to take it personally- some people might not know how online dating works, and may think blocking someone isn't as rude as it is....maybe they think it's the same as just not showing interest? IDK, but yeah, I get where you're coming from....

--hide--
Hard to imagine anyone blocking you, Mary, much less blocking someone over an interview.

I've heard of a few cases where blocking was done accidentally. Unfortunately, there isn't a really good way to contact the person if it appears that is what happened.

Feb 5th 2013 new

my second respnse might have been a bit general Ray I am fully aware that there are many people who get the point as well. Thanks for your insights

Feb 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Hard to imagine anyone blocking you, Mary, much less blocking someone over an interview. I&#...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Hard to imagine anyone blocking you, Mary, much less blocking someone over an interview.

I've heard of a few cases where blocking was done accidentally. Unfortunately, there isn't a really good way to contact the person if it appears that is what happened.

--hide--


I was surprised, but I know I didn't do anything out of the norm, so it didn't bother me terribly...I thought "Maybe he REALLY didn't like my answers!" Alas, I only realized because I was cleaning out my inbox, anyway, so I suppose having only taken his interview and not pursued further, he must not have made much of an impression on me, either tongue accident or no, you just have to forget and move on goldfish

Feb 5th 2013 new

I have been blocked twice I think like you for absolutely no reason. I agree with everyone here...people are incredibly rude.

My only possible "nice" explanation for it is that newbies may think that block just means "close" the "match" like on other sites like eharmony. They may think that is how you move on.

Of course they are not correct on that, but it could be an explanation.

I had suggested to Admin that blocks have to approved by them, and/or that the block button comes up with a warning of when a block should be used (harassment, threats, will not take no for an answer), and only then does it fire, and it goes to admin to see if it is an appropriate situation, as they can review the correspondence.

Don't take it personally is my advice to anyone; we live in a fallen world filled with fallen people.

Feb 5th 2013 new
(Quote) Pat-5351 said: I have been blocked twice I think like you for absolutely no reason. I agree with everyone here...people are incre...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

I have been blocked twice I think like you for absolutely no reason. I agree with everyone here...people are incredibly rude.



My only possible "nice" explanation for it is that newbies may think that block just means "close" the "match" like on other sites like eharmony. They may think that is how you move on.



Of course they are not correct on that, but it could be an explanation.



I had suggested to Admin that blocks have to approved by them, and/or that the block button comes up with a warning of when a block should be used (harassment, threats, will not take no for an answer), and only then does it fire, and it goes to admin to see if it is an appropriate situation, as they can review the correspondence.



Don't take it personally is my advice to anyone; we live in a fallen world filled with fallen people.

--hide--


I like Pat's suggestion that the "block" button at least has a warning as to what it will do. However, I went into my own messages and pulled it up and it specifically states, "Block Messages from xxx" and that is the utmost rudeness for a first contact if you are not interested in the person. So I agree with the OP, but not a lot you can do to educate those who do not want to be educated. I imagine it will eventually happen to them so maybe they will take another look at their own behavior.

Blessings.
Feb 5th 2013 new
It is confusing. Perhaps some basic "welcome to the site and here is what you can do or how xxx works" from CM would be helpful. But polite manners cannot be taught here.
Feb 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-583970 said: I got blocked last week just for taking some guys interview first time ever, too. I guess try not ...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:

I got blocked last week just for taking some guys interview first time ever, too. I guess try not to take it personally- some people might not know how online dating works, and may think blocking someone isn't as rude as it is....maybe they think it's the same as just not showing interest? IDK, but yeah, I get where you're coming from....

--hide--


This is correct --> "maybe they think it's the same as just not showing interest?"

Feb 5th 2013 new

Couple things:

1. Here is the message users get have choosing the "block" button. " Blocking messages will archive the conversation and prevent further messages between you and (name). Are you sure you want to do this?" This button is under the more menu button so you have look for it, it's not like we put it out front.


2. We had a "Not Interested" button and few people used it and yet we got many complaints about it as well. (It was too harsh, not polite etc.)

3. In most cases when someone uses the block button generally they have just decided they are not interested and have moved on, removed the message and in comse cases let the other person know they are not interested. (even if friendship or casual discussion)

4. There is a problem sometimes on dating sites in which some people won't take no for an answer and it makes someone feel uncomfotable (this can be especially true for women). Therefore the block allows someone to qucikly and easily solve a problem and also puts the control in their hands.

5. Despite many discussions about how users say they prefer to know if someone is not interested vs. no response, generally whenever we have had anykind of auto response about not being interested, including the block users don't seem to like knowing.


I wish some of the decisons we made were always easy, straight forward and popular but usually it is more complex and we often are looking at things the end user doesn't see as well as unintended consequences.

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