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Saint Anthony is the patron of lost things and missing persons.
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Feb 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: My two cents? I initially jopined only for the widow/widower forums. I found so much more in term...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said:

My two cents? I initially jopined only for the widow/widower forums. I found so much more in terms of friends and I came back yesterday because maybe, just maybe I will be more comfortable with the online dating idea on this site. The road is broken. Somnetimes everything goes well and then someone else gets sick, dies, or events come up, or we just have an off day. While many people have a idea about a timeline for grieving, the bottom line is that nobody ever tells a person to stop being happy. As a widow who spent her whole adult life married to someone, their are so many things that I will probably need to talk to another widow/widower about in the dating process. I think it would be a wonderful addition.

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Welcome back to the forums, Linda - glad to have you back! And, I agree with you that grieving can go on and off for a very long time!

I read one of your postings in another thread today, and if you want to get together with some of the people here, why don't you look at and perhaps go to one of the Members Meetups or create one of your own! Also, there are some fun events being planned on the Events page (including a Caribbean cruise next January 2014 which I am considering).

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Feb 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-29176 said: Welcome back to the forums, Linda - glad to have you back! And, I agree with you that g...
(Quote) Patricia-29176 said:



Welcome back to the forums, Linda - glad to have you back! And, I agree with you that grieving can go on and off for a very long time!

I read one of your postings in another thread today, and if you want to get together with some of the people here, why don't you look at and perhaps go to one of the Members Meetups or create one of your own! Also, there are some fun events being planned on the Events page (including a Caribbean cruise next January 2014 which I am considering).

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I won't be doing the cruise because my baby graduates from the United States Air Force Academy this year. His dad promised him a trip (free education means nice rewards) on graduation. We are taking a criuse right after that.

You are right about the meat ups. I was going to go to the Barn Party in April, but I will be at a training in NJ for two weeks. It is time for me to rejoin the land of the living. Maybe I will even play Suzie Homemaker--just don't get too used to it. Laugh.

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Feb 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-29176 said: Thanks for letting us know, Donna. (However, although divorced and widowed have their r...
(Quote) Patricia-29176 said:



Thanks for letting us know, Donna. (However, although divorced and widowed have their rooms, and I suppose people who lost children could share in single parenting - people who have other losses such as loss of parents or siblings or close friend, etc. don't really have a place to discuss this. I looked at all the forums, and really the only places I think a "grief" thread could be started (other than divorced or widowed) might be the over 45 room or the under 45 room as I really don't think it fits under single living or St. Peter's.) or perhaps the women's room or the men's room I guess - but that would of course be limited to their own gender.

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This is merely an observation on my part, but sometimes there are unintended consequences to pushing for a particular action..For instance, had the members who frequent the Widowed room been welcoming and quietly accepted those who are grieving a loss and welcomed them 'into the fold' none of what is going on now would be happening IMO.. There is a danger in showing animosity because the Widowed room could easily be turned into the Widowed and Grieving room. Be careful what you ask for.. wink

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Feb 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: This is merely an observation on my part, but sometimes there are unintended conseque...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


This is merely an observation on my part, but sometimes there are unintended consequences to pushing for a particular action..For instance, had the members who frequent the Widowed room been welcoming and quietly accepted those who are grieving a loss and welcomed them 'into the fold' none of what is going on now would be happening IMO.. There is a danger in showing animosity because the Widowed room could easily be turned into the Widowed and Grieving room. Be careful what you ask for..

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So true.

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Feb 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: (Quote) Patricia-29176 said: Thanks for letting us know, Donna. (Ho...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

Quote:
Patricia-29176 said:



Thanks for letting us know, Donna. (However, although divorced and widowed have their rooms, and I suppose people who lost children could share in single parenting - people who have other losses such as loss of parents or siblings or close friend, etc. don't really have a place to discuss this. I looked at all the forums, and really the only places I think a "grief" thread could be started (other than divorced or widowed) might be the over 45 room or the under 45 room as I really don't think it fits under single living or St. Peter's.) or perhaps the women's room or the men's room I guess - but that would of course be limited to their own gender.



This is merely an observation on my part, but sometimes there are unintended consequences to pushing for a particular action..For instance, had the members who frequent the Widowed room been welcoming and quietly accepted those who are grieving a loss and welcomed them 'into the fold' none of what is going on now would be happening IMO.. There is a danger in showing animosity because the Widowed room could easily be turned into the Widowed and Grieving room. Be careful what you ask for..

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Here's an example.. 4-5 years go there was a group of young people that completely dominated the Tobias room and many older folks felt pushed out..So there was a demand for an over 45 room so that we could talk about topics that didn't pertain to the demographics of the younger set.. So that was granted.. Then the unmarried 20 somethings wanted their own room.. So eventually a room was created for them.. Then the 30-45 year olds felt left out of either of their rooms and there were a number of "What about us?" posts.. That's when the Admins started saying 'no more rooms' and to the 20 somethings dismay, they had to accept the older folks under 45 into 'their room'..

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Feb 8th 2013 new

Okay, I cleaned up the tangent this topic was taking. There's no need to drag other conflicts into this issue.

I'm not fundamentally opposed to adding new rooms, but they have to add a specific thing to the community and not interfere with the purposes of other rooms. They also have to be able to have enough traction to actually get people to the room with enough frequency to keep the room alive. Any new room created from here on out will most definitely have an initial probationary period. If, after a month or two it doesn't have enough activity it will be removed. That's one reason the room stats are there.

In this specific case, it seems to have about a 30% overlap with the Widow(er)'s Room. I'll mull over the idea - it's not something I'm going to do without a fair amount of forethought, because removing rooms is like pulling teeth.

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Feb 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Nathan-48443 said: Okay, I cleaned up the tangent this topic was taking. There's no need to drag other conflicts...
(Quote) Nathan-48443 said:

Okay, I cleaned up the tangent this topic was taking. There's no need to drag other conflicts into this issue.

I'm not fundamentally opposed to adding new rooms, but they have to add a specific thing to the community and not interfere with the purposes of other rooms. They also have to be able to have enough traction to actually get people to the room with enough frequency to keep the room alive. Any new room created from here on out will most definitely have an initial probationary period. If, after a month or two it doesn't have enough activity it will be removed. That's one reason the room stats are there.

In this specific case, it seems to have about a 30% overlap with the Widow(er)'s Room. I'll mull over the idea - it's not something I'm going to do without a fair amount of forethought, because removing rooms is like pulling teeth.

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Thanks, Nathan, for being willing to "mull over" this idea of adding a "healing/grieving" room on a probationary basis! I don't want to add to your work load, but this does seem like a worthwhile idea that could be helpful to the CM members.

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Feb 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Nathan-48443 said: Okay, I cleaned up the tangent this topic was taking. There's no need to drag other c...
(Quote) Nathan-48443 said:

Okay, I cleaned up the tangent this topic was taking. There's no need to drag other conflicts into this issue.

I'm not fundamentally opposed to adding new rooms, but they have to add a specific thing to the community and not interfere with the purposes of other rooms. They also have to be able to have enough traction to actually get people to the room with enough frequency to keep the room alive. Any new room created from here on out will most definitely have an initial probationary period. If, after a month or two it doesn't have enough activity it will be removed. That's one reason the room stats are there.

In this specific case, it seems to have about a 30% overlap with the Widow(er)'s Room. I'll mull over the idea - it's not something I'm going to do without a fair amount of forethought, because removing rooms is like pulling teeth.

--hide--
Hi Nathan, I noticed in your "cleaning up process", you only removed my replies to Donna. I'm wondering why that is? Is this a case where the Moderator is allowed to express her opinion, but if one disagrees with the opinion, their comments will be removed?

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