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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Question for the women.

Feb 10th 2013 new
How would you feel if a guy you've previously had to contact with on this site started using the chat feature to talk to you when you're online? Should there have been some communication already? Would chatting right away make you feel uncomfortable and make him look like a creeper? Haha I've never chatted first thing before but it dawned on me tonight that it might be a bit more natural to start communicating by actually having a conversation with someone rather than trying to write out a message first. Thoughts?
Feb 10th 2013 new
*had no contact with*
Feb 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Richard-791226 said: How would you feel if a guy you've previously had to contact with on this site started using the c...
(Quote) Richard-791226 said: How would you feel if a guy you've previously had to contact with on this site started using the chat feature to talk to you when you're online? Should there have been some communication already? Would chatting right away make you feel uncomfortable and make him look like a creeper? Haha I've never chatted first thing before but it dawned on me tonight that it might be a bit more natural to start communicating by actually having a conversation with someone rather than trying to write out a message first. Thoughts?
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I think it would be fine - if you brought it up to her in a message in advance! Maybe ask her if it would be okay to chat sometime? Otherwise it can be awkward because maybe she's just checking her account quickly and doesn't plan to stay online.

Feb 10th 2013 new

I don't think it makes someone look like a creeper but it is nice to have a chance to view the other person's profile before you chat with them so you can get an idea of the type you are talking to, with that in mind maybe an exchange of emotiograms before chatting might be a nice idea.

Feb 10th 2013 new

I think it would be fine. You could send a message asking before requesting a chat, but I don't think it would be creepy if you didn't.

Feb 12th 2013 new

I have chatted with someone who I was never aware had even viewed my profile. I guess he checked my profile, saw I was on and we started chatting. Nothing creepy. It was a great conversation. I actually prefer that to messages that takes a few days or weeks to move past "Hi, how are you?"

Feb 12th 2013 new

Personally, I don't like to use the chat function. I think it is a way of creating false intimacy between two people and the conversations can degenerate quickly. Yet, I would consider it if I recieved an Email invitation beforehand. And I would browse the person's profile before making up my mind.

Feb 12th 2013 new

I agree with the other ladies, that sending a message first about your wish to chat with her is the best route.

Feb 13th 2013 new

Either way, as long as you aren't saying creepy stuff, but just having a normal conversation, it should be fine.


Just don't lead with "How's it going, future wife?" or "You have beautiful hair. I'd like to touch it."


If you avoid that madness, no one should think you're creepy. If they do, they need a spine.

Feb 13th 2013 new

Sadly, in my experience, several times men who started a chat without first establishing contact another way quickly moved the discussion into very person and private channels, not at all what could be termed "polite" for conversation with a stranger. They got reported and booted pretty quickly.


Even a couple of emotigrams is better than going directly to chat.

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