Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
Learn More: Saint Rita

Important question for a child

Feb 13th 2013 new

Hi everybody..how would you explain to your child a father's absence in his life? My treasure is nearly 3years old and I am aware that it warries from a circumstance, but I am curious how would you manage..

Thanks in advance

Maria

Feb 13th 2013 new

Maria,

I would say whatever is the truth in such a way that his little mind could grasp it. Most of the three-year-olds who I know being raised by only a mother, though, do not quite know clearly that they are without fathers, and do not think to ask. It does clear up a bit when they get closer to ages five to seven and they do begin to ask questions.

One of my sisters is getting ready to go through this very situation with her son, and all she can tell him in a tactful way is that his father is a very bad man who she does not even trust to know his son at this point. :(

Feb 13th 2013 new

My situation is different, since my husband died when my children were very young.

I believe it's important to not tell a child more than he needs to, and never more than he can understand.

A three year old is content with, "You don't have a father". An older child (6-7) can handle, "He went away. No, I don't think we'll be seeing him." Older (10), "Our family consists of you and me. He cannot be with us." A teen can understand, "Here are the circumstances...." and then give the truth -- but I don't believe you owe them the whole truth, only as much as is their business.

I also found that sometimes it's best not to raise an uncomfortable topic, but to let the child ask.



Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Maria-936435 said: Hi everybody..how would you explain to your child a father's absence in his life? My treasure...
(Quote) Maria-936435 said:

Hi everybody..how would you explain to your child a father's absence in his life? My treasure is nearly 3years old and I am aware that it warries from a circumstance, but I am curious how would you manage..

Thanks in advance

Maria

--hide--
Hi Maria, my heart goes out to you, it is a very difficult situation and only gets worse if not handled well. He is young so you have some time before you have to explain things more in depth. Right now, if he asks, I would say to tell him that he does have a daddy but he is unable to be with us. As he gets older, you may want to say things like "he is not well, healthy enough to be involved in our lives" - which is true because any father who isn't involved in their children's lives is unhealthy and has issues. Praying for his dad together as he gets older would be good too.

What I would not do is act like his dad doesn't exist. Children need to know that it takes a mother and father to raise a family; if we act like dads aren't needed then that confuses the children. My daughter is 11 and it has been a struggle at times to explain things to her because I don't understand either. We don't have to understand everything, just accept it and do the best we can. If you have any questions or want to talk just email me. I will be praying for you and your son.

Posts 1 - 4 of 4