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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
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Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: (Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: Ok, so I'm just going to come right out with it-...
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

Quote:
Kathryn-328433 said: Ok, so I'm just going to come right out with it--How do you manage yearning s for physical intimacy? This has become my biggest challenge. I never took a vow of chastity and I yearn for a physical relationship There, I said it. Am I alone in having these feelings? Kate Widowed 5 years, 7 children ages 23, 21, 18, 14, 9, 8, & 8

Join the Club.I've been divorced/seperated annulled 16 years(two daughters)! Manage it through sacrifice,and the Sacraments.

--hide--
Sorry, I didn't realize this was the Widows and Widowers Room.

Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: Sorry, I didn't realize this was the Widows and Widowers Room.
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

Sorry, I didn't realize this was the Widows and Widowers Room.

--hide--



Your apology and sensitivity is accepted, Bernard. Thank you for the courtesy of apologizing. May God bless you in all things.

Feb 15th 2013 new
I'm 30 with no annulment yet looking to the possibility of a life without the wonder my mother says she has had with my father and my recently widowed friend was on the phone crying with me yesterday about. No, I can't understand but I do know I have talked to my never married priest and a celibate sister about managing urges because I'm 30 years old. My body wants children and doesn't exactly care that I'm alone. It's not exactly the same urge but there's got to be something I can learn from you ladies that have had to go so long missing physical love as well as those in holy orders who never had it. Not to say I liked what happened in my former marriage, but at least I got kids from it and the close women in my life tell me not to be scared if I ever am granted an annulment. I guess I need to stop being anywhere but the divorced forum though, I am seeing so much pain redirected into anger there too though.
Feb 15th 2013 new

I don't understand this statement at all "While none of these things are bad in and of themselves, when we respond to the passions (using the term in a philosophical sense) in this manner, we become further enslaved to them rather than mastering them." Are you someone that has no desire for physical closeness? After being married - happily - passionately - I just don't understand being "enslaved" by hugging your children and friends and loved ones

Feb 15th 2013 new

Oh my - 7 children- God bless you! NO YOU ARE NOT ALONE WITH THESE FEELINGS - I have 1 son - my husband passed - suddenly - It's a challenge - I too did not take a vow of chastity - You just have to have faith - Love all those children

Feb 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: Ok, so I'm just going to come right out with it--How do you manage yearning s for physical intimac...
(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: Ok, so I'm just going to come right out with it--How do you manage yearning s for physical intimacy? This has become my biggest challenge. I never took a vow of chastity and I yearn for a physical relationship There, I said it. Am I alone in having these feelings? Kate Widowed 5 years, 7 children ages 23, 21, 18, 14, 9, 8, & 8
--hide--


Kathryn, thank you for starting this thread - I'm glad to know I'm not alone! I've often wondered if my desires are because we didn't have a very sexual marriage (health issues started before our 1st Anniversary) and she passed before our 5th; or the fact that I'm still young!


For me, I guess keeping busy has been the best way to redirect my thoughts. I also laugh, sometimes uncontrollably when I see my dog humping something. I stop, and look at him, and think "Well I guess I'm not the only sexually frustraited man in this house!". Sometimes the laughter is all I need!

Mar 3rd 2013 new

yes. It's difficult. My wife died after 31 years of a wonderful marriage. I try to be with people and I'm looking for a companion/ wife. I try to be good to myself in little ways. Exercise is helpful. I'm sorry for your loss. Day dreaming about sex is sometimes satisfying. I will pray for you and your lovely family.
bill

Apr 16th 2013 new

Ok why would you deny yourself a sexual relationship? Catholics and others seem to view sex as a demon. Catholics have this wrong I believe. The Catholic church was not founded on this premise. This concept came many decades after the formation of the church. It makes for a very wierd dynamic when a priest is providing guidance to a lay individual. My feeling, not my advice, is to find a warm emotional stable sexual relationship that makes you happy. Physical intimacy is part of living. It is God's gift. it is what makes a human in part. Like anything else it can be abused. Wanting intimacy can not be addressed by prayer or sarafice. It can only be addressed intimacy.

Enjoy your life. It will end all too soon.

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