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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Feb 15th 2013 new
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said: LOL, I have the same problem Bryan
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:



LOL, I have the same problem Bryan

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Me too...I was beginning to think I was the only one with iPad fingers!
Feb 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-634934 said: Absolutely not! The courthship is a period of discernment. Why would you want to make it shorter...
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:

Absolutely not! The courthship is a period of discernment. Why would you want to make it shorter?

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I agree with Daniel! Way to go! Veronica wave

Feb 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Eileen-890971 said: Me too...I was beginning to think I was the only one with iPad fingers!
(Quote) Eileen-890971 said: Me too...I was beginning to think I was the only one with iPad fingers!
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Tablets are also bad.

Feb 15th 2013 new
(Quote) Donna-83441 said: I did a private duty case with an 80+ year old couple.. They met in the 1930's when he (John) at...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


I did a private duty case with an 80+ year old couple.. They met in the 1930's when he (John) attended a birthday party for his friends cousin.. The cousin was engaged to the daughter(Margaret) of his mothers best friend..The party was down in KY.. John and Margaret met and conversed on that Saturday. On Monday he drove down and secretly picked her up.. They made a 54 year marriage out of that elopement..Til the day Margaret died in her sleep.. They only had each other, having had two children stillborn and very little other family. John was an only child and Margaret had one brother.


I've seen people from here meet and get married on a 2nd or 3rd F2F..I know one woman from here that met a man on another site and they married on their first F2F after about a 6 weeks of phone conversations.. On the other hand there are others that never move beyond the dating phase and break up after years of dating..

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So, how does one reconcile "knowing" this is the one, as ecidenced bynthe above and other similar examples with the parish indicated "arrangements must be made 6-8 months in advance"?
Feb 15th 2013 new
(Quote) Elizabeth-929069 said: So, how does one reconcile "knowing" this is the one, as ecidenced bynthe above and other similar ex...
(Quote) Elizabeth-929069 said: So, how does one reconcile "knowing" this is the one, as ecidenced bynthe above and other similar examples with the parish indicated "arrangements must be made 6-8 months in advance"?
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I believe, Elizabeth, that there are always exceptions to the rules.
Feb 15th 2013 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: Should Catholics have shorter courtship periods before getting married to reduce the temptation for illic...
(Quote) John-220051 said: Should Catholics have shorter courtship periods before getting married to reduce the temptation for illicit sexual activity?

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John, I'm writing on a laptop so I don't had Ipad fingers, I just type badly. I agree with virtually everyone else -- don't cut the courtship period short. It is a time to learn the other's love language -- how they like to be treated, what makes them feel special. It is a time to talk about finances and to fully disclose them. It's a time to talk abt what being a Catholic means, what following the sacraments means, whether you're a Cafeteria Catholic or a 7/7 Catholic.

It's a time to have your first fight, just to test each other, have your secondd fight, to get to know each other, look into each other's eyes, bond, talk abt children, life goals...so much.

Awww, now you made me all sad and lonesome. sad

Feb 15th 2013 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: Should Catholics have shorter courtship periods before getting married to reduce the temptation for illic...
(Quote) John-220051 said: Should Catholics have shorter courtship periods before getting married to reduce the temptation for illicit sexual activity?
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John,

I can only answer for mine. He asked me after four weeks. we did not marry until nine months later, so ten months all together. I dated a boy before him for nearly four years.

My mother used to tell us that an engagement should not be longer than a year. I think the distinction being that the courtship is a separate period than the engagement. Courtship is about discernment, but once the decision has been made to ask someone to marry you and they have answered in the affirmative I think I agree with my mother six months to a year but no more. Courtship of course can be quick or it can be long, I have to say however that I think those who drag it out for years and years do a disservice to themselves and their partners and is not necessarily a good thing. However, lol, I think there should be a continuation of courting after the engagement and after the wedding. It's easy to get lost in the roles of parents and lose sight of the us at the center of it. . .so court away, but if you want to marry do not drag that out for more than year, (unless of course there are good reasons like one of you is doing a two year stint in the peace corps or something). Lauren

Feb 15th 2013 new

The goal should be entering into the engagement with pure hearts. My wife, my sister, protecting her as in the Song of Songs. Just reading Heaven's Song, great book on this. Isn't the right woman worth that?

Feb 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: John, I can only answer for mine. He asked me after four weeks. we did not marry...
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said:

John,

I can only answer for mine. He asked me after four weeks. we did not marry until nine months later, so ten months all together. I dated a boy before him for nearly four years.

My mother used to tell us that an engagement should not be longer than a year. I think the distinction being that the courtship is a separate period than the engagement. Courtship is about discernment, but once the decision has been made to ask someone to marry you and they have answered in the affirmative I think I agree with my mother six months to a year but no more. Courtship of course can be quick or it can be long, I have to say however that I think those who drag it out for years and years do a disservice to themselves and their partners and is not necessarily a good thing. However, lol, I think there should be a continuation of courting after the engagement and after the wedding. It's easy to get lost in the roles of parents and lose sight of the us at the center of it. . .so court away, but if you want to marry do not drag that out for more than year, (unless of course there are good reasons like one of you is doing a two year stint in the peace corps or something). Lauren

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Wisdom alert. clap clap clap

Feb 15th 2013 new
(Quote) John-220051 said: Should Catholics have shorter courtship periods before getting married to reduce the temptation for illicit sexual ...
(Quote) John-220051 said: Should Catholics have shorter courtship periods before getting married to reduce the temptation for illicit sexual activity?
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What exactly is "courtship" from the Catholic prospective? Ok, so a time of discernment. When would it be considered to have begun, and what is expected? Would courtship be the same as "dating," for example?

To answer your question though, John, prior to the sexual revolution beginning in the 1960's, some couples did do that..."get married... (early)... to (avoid) illicit sexual activity."
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