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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Why traditional dating is dead

Feb 15th 2013 new

I recenty read the below online article .... and realized its true. What do you think ?


"What I found was that we're living in a post-dating world.

The lost art of offline dating

The happy couples I talked to had not met and immediately started dating. Instead, they connected in more natural -- and yes, ambiguous -- settings. They played on the same volleyball team or were co-workers on a political campaign. Or they hung out in the same social group or were friends for years before getting intimately involved or got intimately involved right off the bat with no initial relationship plans. Or they met each other while living in different parts of the country and got to know each other via Facebook or Gchat before committing to full-on romances.

Instead of going on explicit dates, they had tested the romantic waters, moved in and out of gray areas, and used technology to explore the various aspects of their connection before putting labels or expectations on their relationship.

This romantic ambiguity was also reflected in my conversations with people who were single. Asked to define their romantic status, they gave me answers like, "Well, it's sort of up in the air ..." and "It's really complicated! How much time do you have?" and "I would define it as, hmm, dating? Ish? Dating-ish?"

Online dating and a formula for love

Single people weren't dating, and young couples who had fallen in love hadn't gotten to that point through dating.

Yes, there were men and women who bemoaned the death of dating. They yearned for the straightforward clarity of an earlier era where gender roles were obvious and technology didn't play such a central role. Then they wouldn't have to deal with the ambiguity of e-mails or the unclear signals of text messages. They wouldn't have to overanalyze every word and interaction. "


Feb 15th 2013 new

Mari: I couldn't agree more with your last paragraph. I look at my own parents, both deceased now, who had four things in common when they met: Both were Catholic, came from large families, were hard workers, and believed in "until death do us part."Now dating is all about marketing yourself. Put up pictures of yourself doing what you enjoy doing. Make sure the pictures are of high quality. Take a temperament test.Make up interview questions. Answer the profile questions. I know it's my age but somehow I would rather know that the guy is who he say is, name, where he resides, is able to marry, is a practicing Catholic and learn all the other stuff about the guy over cups of coffee or I think the techies would call it F2F. Traditional dating is dead if you are going to just do online dating. Traditional dating is alive and well if you leave yourself open to other forms of meeting someone such as chance meetings, through family, work, or friends, or leaving it up to God to pick the means . This is just my humble 2 cents worth

Feb 15th 2013 new
Amen sister. I believe there is still hope that when two people meet for the purposes of the vocation of marriage communication can clearly state where both parties stand. Where they would like there relationship to go.
Feb 15th 2013 new
I am trying both, but haven't had much luck with off line dating. I have better luck with meeting men and getting a meeting in person from online dating. While they are nice guys so far not the man God has in store for me for the vocation of marriage.
Feb 15th 2013 new

Is this a bad thing?


It seems to me that the ideal situation is to meet someone (through the means mentioned in the article -- family, work, etc.), establish a friendship, and move to dating as a method of discernment. Example, my parents were family friends for years before my father proposed, after which they had a regular weekly date to get to know each other before marrying.


Dating as done since WWII seems to me to be artificial and superficial way of getting to know someone.

Feb 15th 2013 new
I hope any future man I meet will at least be a nice guy.
Feb 15th 2013 new

you've certainly raised a good point, Mari. I think this is why it is imparative for those who meet online to go on a "real" face to face date as soon as possible.

I kinda think the romantic ambiguity, while being partially due to the technology conundrum, is mostly to blame on our pro-death, anti-family, radical-feminism, pro-birthcontrol society in which gender roles and value and worth of a single person are blurred. If our society was focused more on heaven and on the means to live well in eternity, people wouldn't be dating carelessly, nor would they hold off on dating for no good reason (see the post "is your 'but' in the way of God's will"). I went to a Catholic college with a 2500+ student body. I was asked out only once.

I think we all need to just pony up! and live life like it's worth it!!! cowboy CowGirl

Feb 15th 2013 new

I would like to meet a nice man whether in person or on-line first. I am trying Catholicmatch because of the experiences I had on the few dates I went out using other sites. I was amazed at how fast they wanted to move. That is being polite. I doubt God would have approved of any of the ways I was approached on first dates. Hope to meet nice men who know what respect is. I don't care where the person lives as long as they are a God loving individual with good morals.

Feb 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Is this a bad thing?It seems to me that the ideal situation is to meet someone (throu...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Is this a bad thing?


It seems to me that the ideal situation is to meet someone (through the means mentioned in the article -- family, work, etc.), establish a friendship, and move to dating as a method of discernment. Example, my parents were family friends for years before my father proposed, after which they had a regular weekly date to get to know each other before marrying.


Dating as done since WWII seems to me to be artificial and superficial way of getting to know someone.

--hide--


I like your parents story Marge!

Feb 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: you've certainly raised a good point, Mari. I think this is why it is imparative for those wh...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

you've certainly raised a good point, Mari. I think this is why it is imparative for those who meet online to go on a "real" face to face date as soon as possible.

I kinda think the romantic ambiguity, while being partially due to the technology conundrum, is mostly to blame on our pro-death, anti-family, radical-feminism, pro-birthcontrol society in which gender roles and value and worth of a single person are blurred. If our society was focused more on heaven and on the means to live well in eternity, people wouldn't be dating carelessly, nor would they hold off on dating for no good reason (see the post "is your 'but' in the way of God's will"). I went to a Catholic college with a 2500+ student body. I was asked out only once.

I think we all need to just pony up! and live life like it's worth it!!!

--hide--


I went to a Catholic college for a year and was never asked out. It was very a tiny school though with tiny classes.
Then I went to a larger school and was propositioned. Honestly, dating is not what we had hoped is it?

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