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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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A well-meaning friend told me that if you have an interest in a woman early on, you need to make a move immediately, otherwise you risk being banished to the friend zone, which is permanent.

However, I've seen evidence to the contrary, not in all cases but some, where the man and woman had to be friends for a while before the romance could blossom. Does anyone think that this actually could result in a marriage even stronger than if both parties jumped in right away?

Feb 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Carl-98335 said: A well-meaning friend told me that if you have an interest in a woman early on, you need to make a ...
(Quote) Carl-98335 said:

A well-meaning friend told me that if you have an interest in a woman early on, you need to make a move immediately, otherwise you risk being banished to the friend zone, which is permanent.

However, I've seen evidence to the contrary, not in all cases but some, where the man and woman had to be friends for a while before the romance could blossom. Does anyone think that this actually could result in a marriage even stronger than if both parties jumped in right away?

--hide--

For my grandparents was right away, love at first sight! My grandpa was a soldier and stop by at my grandmas home town to eat, my grandpa gave him breakfast and the rest is history!! they were separated by Spanish Civil though and had to wait for marriage some years! My parents were college classmates and after friendship they dated & married. Both outcomes have been very good!!

Feb 15th 2013 new

The whole "friend zone" thing seems so middle school.

I wouldn't burn any bridges so if someone remains a part of my life in some form that I'll take it. But I'd get right back to finding a real relationship with someone who does want one. If the friendship did blossom great but you have to strive for what you want.

Feb 15th 2013 new

When I was younger, I thought the latter. Now that I know what I want and am not afraid of going after it ... your first statement is closer to the truth. I'm not quite sure what you mean by "make a move" but I see it as making it known that you don't just want to txt each other twice a week for the next 20 years, but actually want a relationship. Depends upon the person, but generally after the age of 30-35, its presumed you know yourself well enough to know what you want from a partner.


In my experience, men put themselves in the friend zone when he does not make a move. rolling eyes In that case she is still looking for a partner and he's not an option any longer. Most women are not going to wait for a guy to figure out what he wants in life. If he doesn't make a move soon, he can be the bride's attendant at her wedding. eyepopping wink tongue


just my two cents ... I'm sure other opinions are out there.

Feb 15th 2013 new

I was definitely friends with my late husband first. For the longest time I never thought about him and dating. I laughed at my mother when she said "Why don't you date a nice guy like Larry, my husband?" Then we sort of got thrown together a couple of times when other people backed out of activities and the rest was a long marriage with two wonderful sons, 21 and 23 years old.

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Carl-98335 said: A well-meaning friend told me that if you have an interest in a woman early on, you need to make a ...
(Quote) Carl-98335 said:

A well-meaning friend told me that if you have an interest in a woman early on, you need to make a move immediately, otherwise you risk being banished to the friend zone, which is permanent.

However, I've seen evidence to the contrary, not in all cases but some, where the man and woman had to be friends for a while before the romance could blossom. Does anyone think that this actually could result in a marriage even stronger than if both parties jumped in right away?

--hide--



Hi Carl! If there is an initial romantic chemistry between two people, I think it's difficult to be just friends. Sometimes, one person feels it and waits for it to grow in the other person. In that situation, are they really friends? Maybe. If the dating relationship doesn't work out, it is possible to be friends. Though, in my opinion, alot of that depends on the length and the depth of the relationship and how the parties treated each other at "the end." Usually, at that point, people are no longer on their best behavior!

In an online dating relationship, if I feel a connection with someone, I do not want to start out as friends. However, I am willing to take it slow, as I am on the slow boat to anything that involves a romantic relationship. If a man is my friend, he falls into the same friend category as my women friends. And the status doesn't change, as it would not for any of my same gender friends. Once we're at that point, it's hard for me to see that person any other way. Chelle

Feb 16th 2013 new

I personally don't believe 'once a friend, always a friend.' I've seen love blossom between 'friends' many times to become long term marriages - it can happen. But I will admit, it's rare. Most of the time only one half of the couple feels more than friendship, and it can result in frustration for the one with deeper feelings. Many times it's the end of the friendship.

Love can be wonderful, but nobody ever promised it would be easy! lovestruck!

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-363093 said: ... I've seen love blossom between 'friends' many times to become long term marriages ...
(Quote) Mary-363093 said:

... I've seen love blossom between 'friends' many times to become long term marriages - it can happen. But I will admit, it's rare. ...

--hide--

- or at least medium-rare. smile

Feb 16th 2013 new
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said: Hi Carl! If there is an initial romantic chemistry between two people, I think it's difficult...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:




Hi Carl! If there is an initial romantic chemistry between two people, I think it's difficult to be just friends. Sometimes, one person feels it and waits for it to grow in the other person. In that situation, are they really friends? Maybe. If the dating relationship doesn't work out, it is possible to be friends. Though, in my opinion, alot of that depends on the length and the depth of the relationship and how the parties treated each other at "the end." Usually, at that point, people are no longer on their best behavior!

In an online dating relationship, if I feel a connection with someone, I do not want to start out as friends. However, I am willing to take it slow, as I am on the slow boat to anything that involves a romantic relationship. If a man is my friend, he falls into the same friend category as my women friends. And the status doesn't change, as it would not for any of my same gender friends. Once we're at that point, it's hard for me to see that person any other way. Chelle

--hide--
Happy Birthday Chelle! Hope you did something special to pamper yourself today! Back to the subject...if there is chemistry, the way you look,talk, and act is different I think. Those pheromones are tricky little goobers but they know what they are doing! I have always thought that once you are in that type of relationship, you cannot go back to being friends but now ...not so sure. I think it depends on the person. Eileen
Feb 16th 2013 new
(Quote) Mary-363093 said: I personally don't believe 'once a friend, always a friend.' I've seen love blossom between &#...
(Quote) Mary-363093 said:

I personally don't believe 'once a friend, always a friend.' I've seen love blossom between 'friends' many times to become long term marriages - it can happen. But I will admit, it's rare. Most of the time only one half of the couple feels more than friendship, and it can result in frustration for the one with deeper feelings. Many times it's the end of the friendship.

Love can be wonderful, but nobody ever promised it would be easy!

--hide--
You are so right Mary! My niece was friends with this boy and said she thought she had feelings for him. My sister said tell him and she did...puff! That was the end of her long standing friendship with him. I do believe it happens but the circumstances have to be just right. Love is complicated just like that movie with Meryl Streep and Alex Baldwin, funny stuff!
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