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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Feb 16th 2013 new

Carl, darlin' --


BULL.


Very little in life is permanent, certainly "classes" of relationships are not permanent.

And if the person you marry is not your best friend -- in every sense of the word -- I feel sorry for you.
hug

Feb 16th 2013 new

The whole friend-zone thing is total sheka if you ask me.


It's a term invented by people who cannot admit that there is any rational reason why another human would not want to pursue a romantic relationship with them at that time. Such people tend to be shallow in their approach to "love." For love is not about getting with another, but rather willing the good of the other in all things.


People who believe in the whole "friend-zone" concept overlook the good of the other in favor of hurt emotions and selfishness. And that is not the respose of love, but rather the response of a bruised ego.


Mathure adults do not behave like that, and so if you want to be a mature adult, don't buy into that foolishness.

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Kate-912649 said:... men put themselves in the friend zone when he does not make a move.
(Quote) Kate-912649 said:... men put themselves in the friend zone when he does not make a move.
--hide--


clap clap clap

Feb 16th 2013 new

clap Bow clap Bow clap Bow

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Carl-98335 said: A well-meaning friend told me that if you have an interest in a woman early on, you need to make a ...
(Quote) Carl-98335 said:

A well-meaning friend told me that if you have an interest in a woman early on, you need to make a move immediately, otherwise you risk being banished to the friend zone, which is permanent.

However, I've seen evidence to the contrary, not in all cases but some, where the man and woman had to be friends for a while before the romance could blossom. Does anyone think that this actually could result in a marriage even stronger than if both parties jumped in right away?

--hide--
Been there and done that (a lot of times!). Right now, I prefer to express interest early on. If it doesn't go anywhere and ends up in just friendship, then it sure still is good. At least I won't have that "what if" question lingering in my mind.

Feb 16th 2013 new
How does one avoid the friend zone?
Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-942124 said: The whole friend-zone thing is total sheka if you ask me. It's a term...
(Quote) Elizabeth-942124 said:

The whole friend-zone thing is total sheka if you ask me.


It's a term invented by people who cannot admit that there is any rational reason why another human would not want to pursue a romantic relationship with them at that time. Such people tend to be shallow in their approach to "love." For love is not about getting with another, but rather willing the good of the other in all things.


People who believe in the whole "friend-zone" concept overlook the good of the other in favor of hurt emotions and selfishness. And that is not the respose of love, but rather the response of a bruised ego.


Mathure adults do not behave like that, and so if you want to be a mature adult, don't buy into that foolishness.

--hide--

EXCELLENT post, Elizabeth! clap clap clap LOVE that last line!

Agreed, those who don't understand or won't graciously accept that another person does not think of them in a romantic way is NOT a true friend. If their egos or selfishness comes before their desire for the true happiness of the other person in every way, including finding romance with someone else - that isn't healthy. True friendship is not conditional, needy, demanding, or manipulative. I've had to cut a few toxic folks like that out of my life - and the relief of no longer having that stress and tension around me was unbelievable. I also remain VERY happy for my male friends who found romance elsewhere.

Elizabeth - you are mature and wise well beyond your years! hug Keep posting - I believe a lot of people can learn from you.

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: How does one avoid the friend zone?
(Quote) John-220051 said: How does one avoid the friend zone?
--hide--


In my opinion, if you want to be more than friends, make sure you let her know. If all you want to be is friends, then let her know that. If you want more than that ... don't keep it a secret, whether you tell her by your actions or your words.

flowers are a nice touch. Orange roses or some really great orchids. something extraordinary.

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Carl-98335 said: A well-meaning friend told me that if you have an interest in a woman early on, you need to make a ...
(Quote) Carl-98335 said:

A well-meaning friend told me that if you have an interest in a woman early on, you need to make a move immediately, otherwise you risk being banished to the friend zone, which is permanent.

However, I've seen evidence to the contrary, not in all cases but some, where the man and woman had to be friends for a while before the romance could blossom. Does anyone think that this actually could result in a marriage even stronger than if both parties jumped in right away?

--hide--

This whole concept of the "friend zone" sounds like the stuff of fairy tales to me. I personally could not have a relationship with a man that I am not friends with. I want to be able to tell the man in my life ANYTHING and to share ANYTHING without edit. For that to happen you have to be friends and I have to feel safe with him. I think that it is wrong to play with the emotions of men so if my desire was to only be friends he would know that. That desire to only be friends would not stem from us being friends but only from my simply not being attracted to him. Don't let guys who were disappointed because a girl was not attracted to them fool you into thinking that it was because they were friends that she did not like them. That a bunch of nonsense if you ask me. Make the move and if she likes you and is an honorable woman she will let you know what's up.

Feb 16th 2013 new

I don't believe there is a best way...some relationships start off in the friend zone, others blossom immediately. When I observe solid relationships from those that I admire, one we're together for years before they married, another married 6 months after meeting on vacation. Together 22 years.

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