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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

02/16/2013 new

I remember raising my two sons alone and praying for a spouse who would be a dad to them. I can't imagine a single dad's prayers are much different, no matter his age.

Marriage is all about compromise. If a couple truly love one another, children, elderly parents, parakeets... none of that matters really, just part of that particular package. There are no wish lists in God centered love. I LUV U

02/16/2013 new

(Quote) Dennis-944077 said: I was wondering what women (perhaps in their 50s) think about men of the same age who have young...
(Quote) Dennis-944077 said:

I was wondering what women (perhaps in their 50s) think about men of the same age who have young children in their lives?


I suspect women who have already raised their children and maybe even have grandchildren aren't interested in meeting anyone with young children, even if the little ones live with their mother most of the time. I am thinking that there maybe a perception that older men with young children are irresponsbible because they couldn't keep the family together or that they are weak.


I am not sure this is an appropriate subject for a forum, but I am curious. I've been praying about this for a while now.

--hide--
Dennis, I am one of those women who would decide that she wouldn't want to date a man with young children, sorry. It's not abt you, it's abt me and my life experiences. I have been disabled for the last 13 years, which slows me down and requires me to sleep more than most. I hold down 2 part-time jobs, one of which involves working intensively at times with emotionally and behaviorally disturbed young children and their families, guardians or foster parents. So it's not that I don't love children, I do! It's that I realize my plate is full.

When I come home from work, I sometimes revel in the quiet. I am serving for the first time in my life on the board of directors of my local food co-op in hopes of helping my community have a locally owned, safe food supply. I am learning so very much.

No, I don't think you are a failure or have made mistakes. Your path is just different than mine. Good luck on your search and blessings to you and your family. hug

02/16/2013 new
Thanks so much for your response. I think it is important to know what your needs are and to honest about them too. Nice note. Dennis
02/17/2013 new

(Quote) Dennis-944077 said: Thanks so much for your response. I think it is important to know what your needs are and to honest abo...
(Quote) Dennis-944077 said: Thanks so much for your response. I think it is important to know what your needs are and to honest about them too. Nice note. Dennis
--hide--


Yes, Dennis. Being mature enough to know ourselves, our needs and being able to discern Go'd will is so important at this time in our lives. I always think of a comment John Wayne made in a movie, "We're burning daylight."

02/17/2013 new

Hi, I liked the quote, "We're burning daylight." As a photographer I think about light a lot. I think about the quality of light - sweet or hard, warm or cool. I think we can miss "seeing the light" because we get so caught up in doing and not in being with the light. In this way, I guess I mean the light of Christ. I know Wayne was talking about time, but to me, time and light go together. The monks measure their days from Vigil to Vespers all based on the sun. It's nice to think about things like this. Have a peaceful Sunday. Dennis

02/18/2013 new

(Quote) Dennis-944077 said: Hi, I liked the quote, "We're burning daylight." As a photographer I think about l...
(Quote) Dennis-944077 said:

Hi, I liked the quote, "We're burning daylight." As a photographer I think about light a lot. I think about the quality of light - sweet or hard, warm or cool. I think we can miss "seeing the light" because we get so caught up in doing and not in being with the light. In this way, I guess I mean the light of Christ. I know Wayne was talking about time, but to me, time and light go together. The monks measure their days from Vigil to Vespers all based on the sun. It's nice to think about things like this. Have a peaceful Sunday. Dennis

--hide--
OK, now this thread has me thinking, truly thinking. Am I being selfish, not trusting that God has my best interests at heart and that it's simply my job to keep my heart open?

Yes, Dennis, I agree abt the light. I personally love the high mountain sunshine, so intense and pure. Or the Northern Lights dancing across the sky.

02/18/2013 new

Hi again, I've been reading Jacques Philippe's book "Time for God" and I find it helpful -- a lot...

Toward the end of the book, in a section call "The Practice of the Presence of God," he writes, "We should continually strive to ensure that all our actions are like little conversations with God..." When I am aware of the light, the beauty that is all around us - even in difficult and challenging circumstances - it's like I am having that conversation. When I lose the focus of the conversations through my actions I am being impetuous or hasty as Philippe writes. He says "the distracted mind" takes over. This happens a lot with me when I am judgmental or not accepting or when my actions are based out of fear.

This is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do -- to practice the Presence. Thanks again for your thoughts.

02/18/2013 new

(Quote) Dennis-944077 said: I was wondering what women (perhaps in their 50s) think about men of the same age who have young...
(Quote) Dennis-944077 said:

I was wondering what women (perhaps in their 50s) think about men of the same age who have young children in their lives?


I suspect women who have already raised their children and maybe even have grandchildren aren't interested in meeting anyone with young children, even if the little ones live with their mother most of the time. I am thinking that there maybe a perception that older men with young children are irresponsbible because they couldn't keep the family together or that they are weak.


I am not sure this is an appropriate subject for a forum, but I am curious. I've been praying about this for a while now.

--hide--


It depends. I have raised my five children and they are all flying. I have been on dates with men with children in the house. I jsut don't want to meet the children and attach until I know if the relationship is going to go the distance. I also am leery of men who talk about me as a mother figure to their children because it makes it seem like the purpose of me is to be mom versus a love connection.

02/18/2013 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: It depends. I have raised my five children and they are all flying. I have ...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said:


It depends. I have raised my five children and they are all flying. I have been on dates with men with children in the house. I jsut don't want to meet the children and attach until I know if the relationship is going to go the distance. I also am leery of men who talk about me as a mother figure to their children because it makes it seem like the purpose of me is to be mom versus a love connection.

--hide--
Yes, Linda, it is very important to separate the adult relationship from the child-rearing or parent relationship. For me, it's all about being conscious of healthy boundaries. And attaching to children when the romantic r'ship is fragile does not work for anyone.

02/18/2013 new
(Quote) Francine-132290 said: People are different. Not everyone is called to the vocation of the reconstructed family unit. A person m...
(Quote) Francine-132290 said:

People are different. Not everyone is called to the vocation of the reconstructed family unit. A person might want children but not be able to have any of their own, and therefore, might want to date and marry someone who does have children. Another who cannot have children might prefer to be with someone who does not want any, who will love them for themselves. And there are those who feel called to have their own children but not to adopt, those who want to raise children when they are young but not when they are older, and those for whom it is vis-versa. I think most people hope to find someone to build a lifestyle with who will share similar values to their own.

--hide--
My son sort of falls into this category. He is scared of having children of his own. It is a concern that he will have to walk through. he however married an older gal who has three children and he is thrilled. He is a great step dad to her young people. They love him and fuss at him as if he were their dad. It has been a blessing all around.
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