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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Feb 21st 2013 new

That makes sense, Serge, but it seems to me that many men expect their woman to be a princess in need of rescuing...and overlook the fact that most of us have had to earn a living (and sometimes raise a family) on our own. There aren't a lot of shrinking violets left by the time one is 40.


I would also say, it takes a bit of time before you really can tell what a person's personality is like.

Go on, give a gal a chance!

Feb 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-931518 said: It's not that I want them, but it already happened that I'm interessed in...
(Quote) Sarah-931518 said:





It's not that I want them, but it already happened that I'm interessed in a guy and he just said that I'm too independent for him and that we wouldn't work it out anyway. That is just frustrating!

--hide--



So He wimped out. I truly believe that if he feels that way its his flaw not yours. I wouldn't be attracted to someone who thought that about me.

Feb 21st 2013 new

I get told that a lot the past year because I have had to step up to the plate. This is not the life or the role I am comfortable in, but sometimes it is the life God gives us. I cannot apologize for who I am because to do so would mean that tragedy has defined me and made me cower. The damn assassin cannot have me too, but if it means that men are intimidated, then surely God has a stronger man for my chapter two.

Feb 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-931518 said: he just said that I'm too independent for him and that we wouldn't work it out anyway.
(Quote) Sarah-931518 said: he just said that I'm too independent for him and that we wouldn't work it out anyway.
--hide--


How does he know this?

It seems to me that it takes several weeks of friendship before one could decide that, and even then it's something to discuss, not a reason to cut and run.

Feb 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-931518 said: Hi guys, I once heard that guys are afraid to start a relationship with a woman, who may intimida...
(Quote) Sarah-931518 said:

Hi guys, I once heard that guys are afraid to start a relationship with a woman, who may intimidate them. It's that true? Which cases do you feel that a woman can intimidate you? My ex boyfriend used to say that at first I can intimidate a guy and that's why sometimes guys don't approach me, because of that. I would do like to hear some male opinions about this. There's such thing?

--hide--


Speaking from experience...if you are intimidating, make sure it's for the right reason and not because you are sending out a vibe of being "too independent" (with the real reason being you are afraid of entrusting yourself to a man). Been there, done that! I would say the right reason for being intimidating is because you are a good and beautiful person, inside and out!

Feb 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-931518 said: Hi guys, I once heard that guys are afraid to start a relationship with a woman, who may intimida...
(Quote) Sarah-931518 said:

Hi guys, I once heard that guys are afraid to start a relationship with a woman, who may intimidate them. It's that true? Which cases do you feel that a woman can intimidate you? My ex boyfriend used to say that at first I can intimidate a guy and that's why sometimes guys don't approach me, because of that. I would do like to hear some male opinions about this. There's such thing?

--hide--
No, I don't feel intimidated by a woman. I take each one the way they are. If it clicks, great! If it doesn't, it's not because I'm intimidated. I guess I have learned to deal with every imaginable personality there is. Open communication is key.

Feb 21st 2013 new
Sarah, in your particular case his reasoning sounds like non-sense to me if that is all he said but you will never know what is going through his head. I live very simple. I don't have a dozen different interests or a hundred friends and so I might feel intimidated by a woman who has a dozen interests and can barely keep up with her social life. She might live a high octane life while I do not. There might be a tendency in my mind to believe that I won't be able to live up to her standards. Maybe I appreciate the simple things in life while the simple things in life to her are not even enough to make her smile. When someone is used to a certain lifestyle they have a tendency to continue to maintain that lifestyle or raise the bar to a higher standard but when the standard goes down then they are unsatisfied. I guess another way of saying the same thing would be "high-maintenance". That is what the intimidation factor means to me.
Feb 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-931518 said: Hi guys, I once heard that guys are afraid to start a relationship with a woman, who may intimida...
(Quote) Sarah-931518 said:

Hi guys, I once heard that guys are afraid to start a relationship with a woman, who may intimidate them. It's that true? Which cases do you feel that a woman can intimidate you? My ex boyfriend used to say that at first I can intimidate a guy and that's why sometimes guys don't approach me, because of that. I would do like to hear some male opinions about this. There's such thing?

--hide--

Hi Sarah,

Not a man, and not sure about why this happens, but I have a story :-). I am and always have been the "nice, serious, really smart girl" in my family and the group. When we were all younger, every Christmas season all the women in the family would go Christmas shopping, then out to dinner and then go do something like dancing. It never, ever failed I was always the one left guarding the table. It was the same even before I was married, whenever my girlfriends and I would go out, I always ended up the one guarding the table. I mentioned this to my husband after one family girl evening, where everyone including my mother had been asked to dance. My feelings were hurt, because out of the entire bunch, I was probably the nicest in the bunch and I'm a pretty good dancer, lol. My husband just laughed and said, if I weren't married to you and I saw all of you out, I'd watch you, but I would never have the guts to approach you, but I would ask any of the others to dance, or even strike up a conversation with them. Because I projected some kind of I don't know -- don't approach unless you are serious, sincere and ready LOL. it was then that he admitted he had wanted to go out with me from the beginning but had chosen to ask my little sister instead because he didn't think I'd actually have anything to do with him. Of course she dumped him at the last minute and in a fit of mercy I agreed to go out with him. . .the rest was history.

For the record I still don't quite understand what he meant, so if anyone understands it, I'd love some clarification.

Feb 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Ryan-900446 said: .... She might live a high octane life while I do not. There might be a tendency in my mind to believe th...
(Quote) Ryan-900446 said: .... She might live a high octane life while I do not. There might be a tendency in my mind to believe that I won't be able to live up to her standards. Maybe I appreciate the simple things in life while the simple things in life to her are not even enough to make her smile. .
--hide--

The operative words here are MIGHT and MAYBE.
Why don't you give the gal a chance to decide for herself?

Feb 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: many men expect their woman to be a princess in need of rescuing...and overlook the fact that mos...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

many men expect their woman to be a princess in need of rescuing...and overlook the fact that most of us have had to earn a living (and sometimes raise a family) on our own. I would also say, it takes a bit of time before you really can tell what a person's personality is like.

Go on, give a gal a chance!

--hide--



I agree with you Marge, and when they (some men) see that you have your own life and that you know how to take care of yourself and that you don't need to be rescue, they get intimidate or afraid and they don't give you change to show your real personality, because they are too busy looking to the appearances. Sometimes i get really upset about this matter, it's just frustrating.

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